its all cuz my mom got some news that my big brother was drinking, doing all sorts of drugs and crap. now my parents are sending him away or at least kicking him out. he heard me crying and he asked and i said cuz of you. im going to miss you. he said he was going to try to visit me as much as possible. am i doing the right thing letting him visit me , but my parents dont approve of it. PLEASE HELP!!!! = (
2006-11-06 14:45:31 · 10 answers · asked by dani 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
When my little brother abandoned me...he didn't even say goodbye. That was 20 years ago. I still hold a grudge.
Your brother wants to see you. I'd take that as a sign of love. don't worry - the thing with your parents will either blow over or just pass through time, but your relationship with your brother is forever. Be there for him as it sounds he'll be there for you.
Once you get out from under your parent's rule, you make your own life.
Know that he loves you and smile. It's all going to be ok.
2006-11-06 14:48:35 · answer #1 · answered by Chrissy: The Angry Typer a/k/a Mood Mole 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I will tell it to you the same way I told it to my sister when I had to go to Iraq, you will be fine I promise you have to look beyond everyone else and their crap, and understand that you will never be alone no matter how far away your brother might be he will always be there for you. As far as for your specific situation just make sure you do not do the same things he did, do not drink( in excess, one or two as long as you do not drive and do not get caught is fine if you feel you have to) do not smoke! and definitely do NOT DO DRUGS they are not worth it they cost alot of money and kill alot of people, and do not listen to the people who say you will not get addicted after trying it once they are stupid, and just trying to make a profit or take advantage of you in some way or another! There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving your brother he is someone who will be there for you no matter what!
2006-11-06 23:16:31 · answer #2 · answered by Vince 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might be best if your parents send him away, he might straighten up and stop doing drugs, dont you want the best for your brother? It might really help him and be good for him. I know you will miss him, he is your big brother, and you are doing the right thing visiting him. Even if your parents dont approve, he is your brother and you should be allowed to see him whenever you want. i hope everything works out from you, but dont worry, everything will be fine.
2006-11-06 22:53:25 · answer #3 · answered by Ricki M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry you're going through this! Lots of us have dealt with family members who are out of control, and it isn't easy.
You still love him, of course you do, and that's fine. You don't ask to love someone - you just do, or don't - and you don't just stop loving him when he's making mistakes. So first off, you don't apologize for loving him.
But. Loving someone means wanting the best for him, even when it's hard/hurts. Your parents probably still love him too - they're just frustrated and don't know what else to do. Living at home, he wasn't motivated to quit his self-destructive behavior, so they're probably hoping that having to be on his own will force him to confront what he's doing.
Truth is, unless your brother admits that he has a problem, gets help, and takes this seriously, he's in serious danger. You can't control this - can't make him admit his problem, can't make him participate in treatment. These are choices he has to make.
What you can do is be supportive. Urge him to get help. Tell him you miss him, and would love to cheer him on through his recovery. Ask your parents if it would be okay to have him visit if he's in treatment - they'll probably say "yes."
Addiction is tough to beat - even if he really gets with the program, he'll backslide occasionally - but it's crucial that he gets with it. If he won't, and the day comes when it's just too hard to watch him destroy himself, you tell him that, and tell him your door will always be open to him, IF he's going to AA, participating in treatment.
What you don't do is sneak off to see him - this might put you in danger, and will certainly erode the trust your parents have in you.
And you love him. And you pray. And you ask your parents to take you to the AA meetings for family members. And maybe you ask your parents if you can talk to a therapist or counselor through your health care plan, so you have a neutral person available to listen to you while you work this out for yourself.
Good luck!
2006-11-06 22:57:21 · answer #4 · answered by peculiarpup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your parents should let your brother come home at least on the weekends sometimes to spend time with you. write your parents a letter, telling them how much you need to stay in contact with your brother. I know the worry about your safety because you are young - so how about asking them if he could come over once in a while to hang out with you in your room while your parents are home. you could play scrabble or monmopoly - some card games maybe - or just watch tv together. that way your parents can see how nice your brother can be and maybe some day they will change their mind. maybe you could help convince your brother to change
2006-11-06 22:52:07 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something Specially
For You
I said a prayer for you today
And know God must have heard-
I felt the answer in my heart
Although He spoke no word!
I didn't ask for wealth or fame
(I knew you wouldn't mind)-
I asked Him to send you treasures
Of a far more lasting kind!
I asked that He'd be near you
At the start of each new day
To grant you health and blessings
And my friendship to share your way
I asked for happiness for you
In all things great and small-
But it was for His loving care
I prayed the most of all.
By: Kenny P. aka-Cobra
2006-11-06 22:50:09 · answer #6 · answered by Cobra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your brother is doing drugs then your parents are trying their best to save him. Listen to them and help them to keep him alive. But you can also tell your brother how much you love him, but if he is doing drugs you're better off being away from him. Get his new address and write him notes from time to time just to keep in touch.
2006-11-06 22:58:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All i can say is that I know how you feel and a little more-my only brother died and I'm not the only child of my mother so just let it go and be glads he's not gon forever
2006-11-06 22:49:00 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs.Carter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is on drugs,he is bad news,your parents are using tough love on him and that is a hard thing to do for them but they have no choice.
2006-11-06 22:48:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my big bro left me too
i was soo unhappy
i woundnt come out of my room for 2 days
i do my best to talk to him and see him when ever i can
i can't bring him back but i am trying anyway
2006-11-06 23:26:04 · answer #10 · answered by Gordo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋