How do you deal with the emotional issues of a profoundly gifted child?

Question

The child in question is gifted beyond real comprehension. He is savant like in almost everything and he is extremely brilliant, but when people act like they doubt him, he doubts himself. How can I make him doubt himself less? He is profoundly gifted with a 175+ IQ and a certified genius, but he still has self doubt. How do I take away his doubt? He comes off as extremely confident and bragging when he is trying to feel like he knows, but he knows that he doesn't know and it scares him. What do I do?

Answer 1

To correct some folks above, there are more than 3 people in the US with a 175+ IQ. IQ also does somewhat gage intelligence, but what they do not realize is that knowledge and intelligence are different. I also have had this issue growing up. I am 13 right now and have an IQ of 178. I attended a gifted school like a couple of the people who answered this question, and after leaving the gifted school, I dealt with alienation because I was at a higher level than the other students. I started as being inadvertently arrogant because though I had been the smart kid at my school for profoundly gifted children, I didn't realize the expansive gap between the intelligence and knowledge of myself and the regular students. A problem I had was dealing with making mistakes. I felt I let myself down if I was ever wrong which led me to constantly doubt my theories and other answers. I felt that if I made a mistake, I would be ridiculed because people didn't realize that even geniuses make mistakes. I would then feel unintelligent after making a mistake. My solution was found by myself. After thinking through all the mistakes I could make pertaining to an issue in question, I then would have to take the leap of faith and assume that I wasn't wrong. If I was told that I was wrong, I needed to defend my ideals and show that they were right or at least equally as correct as the supposed answer. Confidence balanced with doubt will erraticate the issue your son I'm assuming is going through. On another note, how old is the child in question? Are their any behavioral issues that have relevance to this question?
Also, if your child is not being alienated, but is being repremanded for talking because he/she is bored, or possibly done with work faster than the others and is looking for a way to keep mentally active, tell the teacher that this is the reason for the so called issue so that the child will not be labled as a trouble maker, because this moniker will stick with them until college unless you move or change schools. I hope this will help with the set issue. Just remember, constant education, love, and mental stimulation will lead him to reaching his potential.

Answer 2

I have a feeling you might be exaggerating.. also.. IQ means pretty much nothing to gauge intelligence, sorry.

Let him know that he can always be wrong about something, and he will be wrong in life, but to keep searching for the right answer. Most importantly be open to other people's ideas and contributions.
There should be nothing that looks like bragging if the child is truly being open minded and just wanting to know more and share.

What age is the child? Your question kinda didn't make sense. Especially towards the end.
"but he knows that he doesn't know.. when he is trying to know"
What? Are you meaning the potential to be wrong ? When he guesses?

A genius should always have a little self doubt. All intelligent people do. If they don't they certainly can't be a genius.

Are you talking about yourself or someone you're related to by any chance.. lol ?

Answer 3

My son had similar issues. I had him in a private, but regular school and he WAS given a difficult time by other children. In hindsight perhaps he would have been better off in a school specifically catering to gifted children. Not sure if this is the case for you?
This is quite common for gifted children, and I believe it will get better in time, especially as you are aware of the issue. It's a social skill really.
My son had a habit of saying 'that's easy' when asked a question. I had to explain to him that it alienated the other children when he said this, as it wasn't easy for them. It was a simple thing but it did help him.
As for your son, I would just reassure him. Confidence is an issue for most people. Just keep praising him when he doesnt doubt himself. As long as he's not really shying away from speaking out in public, I would think it's ok. Praise, praise and more praise.

Answer 4

You need to help him find a good balance. It is not good if he doubts himself all the time, but it is not good for him if he never doubts himself either. When people doubt him, are their doubts valid? Did he already consider these doubts? If not then he should perhaps open up and recognize that there is more he needs to learn. Something like this usually comes with age and experience, so it will be hard.

Answer 5

Well, first of all, I will assume you are a parent. Remember that social connections are of crucial importance to children, and gifted children do sometimes have difficulty with social skills. How many friends does he have? Does he push other kids away because he comes off as arrogant to them? A certain amount of humility is not a bad thing. He my be gifted, but he IS still a child and has the same guidance and nurturing needs of any other child. Rent and watch "Little Man Tate" with him, and talk about his and your reaction to the movie together. You may want to at least consult with a child therapist, at least to get their opinion.

Answer 6

i have had a really similar problem. i, too, am gifted, and started out in a special gifted and talented school for elementary school. it was great through middle school, and because everyone was gifted nobody got judged because of their intelligence. however, we moved and im now back at a regular high school, and its been really tough to readjust. my advice: put him in a special school only if you intend on keeping him there. if you dont intend on moving anytime soon, the gt schools really build the confidence in gifted kids in things OTHER than academics, because they can work without being judged, they make friends and can play sports, etc. i've faced the problem all my life with the bragging vs playing dumb thing, and i dont know if you can really balance it. what i've found works is to earn people's respect through tihngs other than being book smart, and once they respect you it won't matter how intelligent you are. hope that helps

Answer 7

I do not know. Every person I have met, whatever the age, was supremely confident in their cognitive capabilities, even if they had no faith in any other ability. ( social, sexual, etc. ) It sounds as he is conflating his social perceptions with his cognitive skills. I doubt that this is the first time this has ever happened, so someone will have advice, even though I can think of nothing further than what I have taxonomized.

Answer 8

I would just show him unconditional love. I would not make a big deal out of his IQ. Let him know that no one is always right. It sounds more like he needs to learn how to cope if he happens to be wrong.

Answer 9

Tell him he needs to trust his instincts, and if he knows something, don't let others sway his opinion. If he doesn't know something encourage him to find help from someone who knows. You can't be ashamed to ask questions

Answer 10

Do you mean 125+? Because only 5 % of the US is over 125. There is only like 3 people in the US who are above 175.

Anyway, some people on genius level have depression. Whether they are genious in the arts or academically. So maybe you should speak to his doctor on this. That is a sign of depression to not have faith in yourself just because of something someone says. He does not have to really have anything to be depressed about to have depression, it could be a chemical thing.