This is a pretty weird problem, I think. My husband is loving and kind and a great husband, but he doesn't want sex as much as I do. I'm not ugly or fat and I do a lot to try and turn him on and we do have sex, but I initiate it. I want him to do this. It makes me feel so unsexy! I know he has been stressed at work and he used to work out more often. I know these are playing factors, but what can I do from my end? He claims nothing is wrong. Oh, and when we do have sex he comes in like three minutes. HELP ME!!!
2006-11-06 14:04:56 · 26 answers · asked by Lynn Q 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You said it in your question, he's stressed at work. I know from personal expirience that stress can kill any sexual relations and about him not lasting long, that is an effect of stress also.
Something that you and your husband should do, is if you have kids, leave them with grandma & grandpa, for a few days and you and your husband even if it's in town, get a motel room, or just spend time together at home. Have him take time off work so he can relax and spend time alone with you. Help him take his mind off things and unwind from the stress. Give him a bath, or if there is room for the 2 of you, take a bath together. Also talk with him about your concerns. Also let him know that he can sexually satisfy you in other ways than penetration.
I know from expirience, I was in a job where I was stressed out and for my wife and I, our lovelife took a major hit in the bedroom. So I can understand where your coming from. Hope that this helps you out.
Take care and God Bless
2006-11-06 14:16:41 · answer #1 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to tell him after you initiate sex that he needs to take it slow and try to give you some foreplay and other things so you can have a orgasm as well. You should tell him what you like and how you like it. Sex is not all about intercourse there are other ways of having fun. You might want to help him out with maybe a hand job let him get really close and then he needs to tell you when to stop so he does not have an orgasm so fast keep doing this a few times each time and he should have a longer erection before the whoooaaaa!!!!
2006-11-06 23:48:26 · answer #2 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK this is going to be way out there but maybe it will work.Next Friday around noon call him and tell him you are planning a little get together at your house,tell him its not going to be a big crowd just a couple of people.And then tell him that there is going to be some drinking a little dancing,some laughing and later that night theres going to be a whole lot of boinky boinky going on so if he wants to be included he better be there or else he's getting left out.I think he will get the picture.
2006-11-06 22:44:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My husband is the same way. I bought a vibrator and uses it in front of him. That makes him mad (smile) hey better than me cheating LOL. You get tired of always initiating it for a good 3 short minutes, then for him to roll over and go to sleep. This can not be the rest of my life....sorry, I was having flash backs
2006-11-06 22:09:44 · answer #4 · answered by sassy lady 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, Lynn... from a male point of view, I have to surmise that your husband is either lacking confidence (common for young guys) or guilt (common for all guys) if he's having difficulty lasting longer. From your pix, I'm guessing that you're young and not married too long. I'd suggest you consult a professional counselor, a doctor or even your minister/pator. There can be many causes but physicality can't be one of them at a young age. I can only suggest that you don't pressure him too much - that can be a turn-off for a guy just as much as for a woman.
Hope this helps.
2006-11-06 22:12:36 · answer #5 · answered by oregonmark2 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
What a bizzare question.
I can't imagine a situation where the guy wouldn't want sex (even if you were fat and ugly).
3 minutes? He's an endurance champion.
2006-11-06 22:57:49 · answer #6 · answered by S h ä r k G û m b ò 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is embarassed that he always comes first before you... its a huge dissapointment for guys whenever that happens you know...I'd say play a little more before you do it...that way your both turned on and game for a fun sex. and that way he can come back for more ever night (wink)! good luck
2006-11-06 23:37:02 · answer #7 · answered by Cess B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi... I am male & my wife and I are very active. The secret for this is that you have trigger his attention by changing clothes be in fashion, love yourself wearing things that you didn't wear before (sexy clothes, fine bras, fine tongs) ... and nice perfumes... be sure it will work... and have sex to enjoy and have fun together do things he will like and ask him to do things you will like... good luck!!
2006-11-06 22:13:23 · answer #8 · answered by Ricardo V 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
People like to use the word stress as an excuse for everything.The man could be partially impotent...or he likes guys.
2006-11-06 22:12:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
cripes.... makes me wonder if i wrote this one. sad sad world. but glad to know i am not alone.
more i ask or try to talk about it, the worse it seems. buying a vib seemed like at least an out for me. and lots of mind play. better then cheating i guess.
2006-11-06 22:17:03 · answer #10 · answered by pondering 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋