Is it bad if i see me and my husbands future not being together?

Question

Me and my husband argue to much he calls me names theres just attitudes fighting his damn jealousy it's driving me nuts he's in the army now we hardley around each other we still argue bout stupid stuff he's really over protective and i don't like all that teh situation seems worser then it sounds.

Answer 1

if you really love him then the answer should be obvious on what you should do.
you have to maybe want to go to counseling when he comes back.
find out why yall fight so much get together and talk about it. and about the name calling you should know that doesnt matter tell him face to face that you dont like that
the whole jealousy thing can also be resolved with communication. if you like to read theres a book called "THE LAST OPPURTUNITY" By Carlos C. Sanchez you should read it because it talks about marriage and divorce.
hope ur situation gets better.

Answer 2

It is very bad for the both of you if this is your current thinking.
I would say that if you wan to keep the marriage together though both of you will have to change. What i mean is that there is an element to him you cant stand and clearly an element to you which he cant stand. This is creating a rift between you two and i'd say you would eventually split.
Of course brutal honesty is the key here! Next time you are talking about this situation try to remain as calm as possible. Please try and most efficiently identify what it is about him (specific behaviour etc.) that is upsetting you, and get him to do the exact same. I'm sure both of you have done this somewhat already. But this time try and change one thing to exactly the way your husband wants it to be and he is to change one thing of his behaviour to exactly the way you want it. For example he would not be allowed to call you any names at all, and in exchange you do something he has asked.
There is 2 reasons to do this.
1) It is one less thing (perhaps two overall) which will interrupt the relationship. Both of you will feel more comfortable that your solution to the problem is being met.
2) It can improve your relationship through a compromise which both can tolerate. And as long as it is upheld the other problems can be tackled and perhaps a similar solution.

Once both of you have expressed exactly what you think is the problem then you are half way to solving it. Both of you will have to make the decision to keep the other happy and to respect their feelings. This works greatest if you consider that the most important relationship you have is between each other. Both of you will also have to understand that the other is not wrong but has a differing perspective which needs to be treated equally.

I hope everything works out the way you want it too :)

Answer 3

Some would say yes thats bad others will say thats a good thing. Its all in who you ask. Yes its bad cause thats a pretty good indication that there is nothing left to your relationship. Its a good thing cause if you can acknowledge it now that there is something wrong then you can act on it now instead of later. I think just reading what you have written here that its time for you to go girl. The situation does sound very unhealthy and you might be in some kinda danger of violence. Military trained men and women are nothing to tangle with. Remember these men and women have been trained to kill with there bare hands. If your relationship is abusive in anyway physically or verbally you should get out while you can. Be safe and I hope Happiness finds you.

Answer 4

I don't believe it is bad that you see yourself not with your husband in the future. Just look at it as a new beginning to a bad end. I just left my husband 6 months ago he called me names also but he also did other stuff. When i left him at first it was hard but i had family and friends to help me through it and i am doing a lot better then i was 6 months ago. good luck on your journey and god bless.

Answer 5

u know what?? im going thru da same stuff. we are both in the army and he just thinks he owns me, like i cant have friends or nothing. he even gets jealous about my family. I am going nuts. he sended me to go thru basic while he prepared to go to irak. the thing is that he spent 4 months and a year by himself, and i know. I KNOW he did his stuff. In Puerto Rico we have a saying that goes "a thief is judging by his condition" which means that he's gonna accuse me of what he is doing. i love him with all my life and soul, but im getting to the point were i just want to separate, and give him what he wants, his liberty and singleness......

Answer 6

You are lucky that you have someone who cares about you. I hope you don't give him reason to be cocerned about who you look at or talk to. Just reassure that you love him, that his actions hurt you, and ask God to help your marriage. Remember the future can change and too many people throw away this beautiful union.

Answer 7

No. I don't think it's bad. If he's calling you names, that's called mental abuse and nobody deserves to go through that. I'd leave him now. I wouldn't wait to see what the future may bring.

Answer 8

Honestly I dont know why you are still with him now.!? If I were married to and asss wipe like that I sure as hell wouldn't be with him now. I wish you all the luck in the world!

Answer 9

God-willing you two work it out, but it sounds like you guys are drifting apart. I think if you guys spent quality time together it would get better. Try counseling if you are willing to make it work.

Answer 10

Well, i dont think its bad to see yourself without your husband....i mean, you seem to be in a tough situation, and he is gone, so you have a lot of time to do a lot of thinking. You didnt say that that was ALL you thought about....so unless it is, then i think its healthy