How should I react if people ask me if I'm gay?

Question

I go to a small private Cathoiic high school. No one knows I'm gay except for my friend Marc who I just told yesterday. They all suspect I'm gay, but they won't come up to me and ask me. There's a lot of people who talk about me and my gayness behind my back constantly. I'm getting tired of it.

I want to tell my friends but they're all homophobic. What do I say if someone does ask me if I'm gay? 99% of the students think I am.

I am so tired of acting like I'm in love with boys. Ugh. I just want to look at a girl and be able to tell my friends that she is hot without them freaking.

Answer 1

It depends on how strong of a person you are, you seem to be fine since you realize that them talking behind your back is their problem and not yours. Many of the other students have probably never known a gay person, and you can be someone that can show them that gay people are just like everyone else except for who they are attracted to. If you decide to let them know that you are gay, I wouldn't start telling them who you think is hot unless they ask you or tell you who they think is hot. As far as how to tell them, just be honest; if someone asks you, tell them, or tell your closest friends. Once one person knows, it won't be long until everybody knows.

Answer 2

Well, as for "looking at a girl and be able to tell my friends that she is hot without them freaking," you may be hoping for something more than is possible.

Consider wearing a t-shirt with a gay pride slogan. That way they'll at least know you're gay-friendly. Letting others know that you are attracted to members of your own gender also may put you at risk, so if there are other known gay people in the school, ask them what their experience has been.

Seek out a gay youth group in your area. Most cities have them, and you may find some additional support among your peers there or among the adult sponsors.

Answer 3

Your best weapons are always intelligence and information. Keep those foremost in mind, and tell them exactly where they stand. I can't stress this enough.... TELL SOMEONE WITH GENUINE AUTHORITY! Do not be afraid! ANY HARASSMENT WILL STOP! Follow through. Be smart and educated. Tell that teacher that the behavior of those responsible violates several school rules, not the least of which is harassment, and being as it's a private school, any formal inquiry would further bring media attention to an already sore subject with the Catholic diaces. They can't afford another multi-million dollar lawsuit, either. You have a right to be anything you want to be, and there's no way that religion, ignorance, or rhetoric in reality can dictate to anyone what they can become. You only have one life, and that life is yours alone...rise up and live it as you see fit, and good luck...

Answer 4

You could just say, "Why on earth would you ask me that?" If they come back with a reply and are insistent, just look at them, shake your head, and walk away. If they try to broach the topic again, you could just give them a go to h-ell look.

Or just slightly vary your original response by saying, "Do you think I'm gay? Why do you think that?" Or you could always say, "It's not your business, and that's really very personal."

I have to ask why you hang out with people that are bigoted towards gay people? Are there no people who have nothing against gay people?

Also, I'd like to ask you a question. If people knew you were gay, and they continued to make nasty remarks about gay people, how could you consider them to be your friends? You say that nearly everyone thinks you're gay, but maybe some people don't.

Good luck, my young friend. Hope it all works out for the best.

Answer 5

That is a tough one, because you are trying to overcome something that most people find wrong, especially being that you go to a christian school. I don't think I would make an announcement at an assembly or anything, and you have to be careful about telling your friend you think she is hot because she might just freak out and then might lose her as a friend, all you can do is gauge each person and see how they react and decide if you want to tell anyone else.

Answer 6

I studied in a Catholic high school as well. A lot of students there were homophobic, and once I came out to my friends, there were mixed opinions. Some of them shared anti-lesbian views to me, which were leaning towards homosexuality being against the Bible teachings, and I had no choice but to listen to them halfheartedly. But there were also others who accepted me for who I really was. Don't fret because this situation can indeed be a blessing. This weeds out your true friends from your so-called friends.

And if they bug you, just tell them that their opinions don't really matter, as long as the people who matter to you accept you for who you really are, like your friend Marc.

If Marc can accept you, then I'm sure that there are others who can as well. Best of luck!

Answer 7

Well if they are homophobic then it might be in your best interest to play along. School lasts only so long and you will have the rest of your life will go way past it, then you can make some real friends. I'm in highschool and only my friends know that I'm bi. Then again if they already suspect I guess you could just say to hell with them, and live your life the way you want to. It's your call.

Answer 8

I agree with my friend the Baritone, it may be too much for you to "want to look at a girl and be able to tell my friends that she is hot without them freaking," especially considering you are at a Catholic school. You should definitely find support groups in your area, they will help you find your own way to answer the questions you will face -- and there, you *can* look at cute girls without anyone freaking! : )

If a person asks if you are gay, I would recommend you say, "Yes, I am. Are you going to finish your tater tots?" Be honest -- then change the subject, since your sexuality is not the most important thing for your friends to be discussing.

I wish you luck, honey -- be proud of who you are.

Oh, yeah, and -- shut up, Frodo!

.

Answer 9

What I like to say, if a girl is asking me, is "oh, honey, i'm sorry. I am, but I just don't think of you like that. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I would have said to make you think that. Jeez, I'm so embarassed". Then there's always "I really don't understand why this is any of your business" or "I dont' understand why this concerns you".

Bottom line is high school just isn't real life. It feels like it is, but when it's over, you realize absolutely nothing that happened there matters at all. Be yourself, love yourself, and be proud of who you are.

Answer 10

If you're in highschool, I"m not gonna lie, things can kinda suck being out. (fellow Catholic school survivor here). Is anyone else out at your school? It's ultimately your decision: if you're prepared for whatever consequences may come your way, go for it. That said, I don't think anyone here can blame you for putting that whole thing off for a year or two till you graduate.