help me with this one........?

Question

can a man who is 42 and still legally married (left his family ) find love with a 21 yr old.......i ask because i am the wife and up until he left i was stupid enough to believe us happy......i even said i thought we were happy he said we were i said then what happened.....he didnt answer......he acts like he feels no guilt or remorse for breaking my heart never mentions me to our children how is that possible after 24 yrs?.......

Answer 1

He is a self absorbed idiot. And he will reap his rewards for his behavior. I really don't know why he would think a 21 year old woman would really be interested in him, he must be giving her alot of money. There is a very old saying, old men and married men pay and old married men really pay. So he is pretty much making himself a joke. She will not be bothered with him for long. God bless

Answer 2

I think it's unlikely he'll find love that lasts with this 21 year old, but that's not the point. The point is, he was unhappy BEFORE he met this girl. He was just too cowardly to set out in the big wide world alone without his mama (or someone else to look after him).

It's not at all unusual for one person in a marriage to think everything's fine, while the other is unhappy. If you didn't have any inkling that your husband wasn't happy then that tells me you weren't aware of his feelings, which suggests you weren't as close as you should have been.

It's not uncommon, when kids come along, for wives to concentrate most of their love and attention on them. Gradually, with all the pressures of child rearing, work and housekeeping, the husband gets relegated to last place. The wife doesn't realise, because she is getting all the satisfaction she needs from her kids. But the husband doesn't, and often feels he has lost the woman he married and all the things he got married for, in exchange for a whole lot of responsibility and not enough sex.

Does that ring any bells? Did you and your husband still find time to be the couple you once were, or did the kids always come first?

I'm not saying he was right to leave. For one thing, he should have had the courage to communicate with you about this and trying to fix the marriage before it broke completely. For another, he shouldn't have got involved with someone else behind your back. And he shouldn't have just walked out on the kids, unless they are very grown up.

He is feeling guilty, and his way of dealing with it is not to deal with it - not to mention you or talk about the situation.

If you can manage to talk to him calmly, it may be worth trying to open a dialogue with him, but as soon as you start accusing him, the conversation will be over - so don't try it unless you think you can be really calm. It may help to see a marriage counsellor for some guidance on how to approach him.

Answer 3

Been there, done that. Men go crazy in their 40s. They suddenly realize that life is passing them by and a 21 yr old cheap floozy is just what they need to make them young again.

These men have no regard for the family they are tearing apart. They don't care what it does to their kids, and they certainly don't care what it does to their faithful "old, used" wife. All they care about is trying to recapture their youth.

They get the ridiculous idea that their "old" wives have taken everything from them for years, and it is now their turn to take what they want in life. They lie to the kids so the kids won't understand what really happened.

Answer 4

He'll know how it feels soon enough. What 21 year old would stay with a 42 year old man. Its probably just something shes trying out, and doesnt take it seriously. He'll come crawling back to you when its all over and then you can tell him to leave. Say you've got a toy boy and see how how likes it

Answer 5

A man is capable of many things most of which dont ever make any kind of sense whatsoever. He probably feels guilty and bad but he just isnt showing it. That would ruin his new macho male ego image he thinks he has with a girl1/2 his age, but wait til she is tired of dating "daddy". He probably is tired of where his life is going so time for the affair but thats not his answer and he will learn his mistakes the hard way. Just hang in there as what goes around comes around. Good luck

Answer 6

He is just searching for youth and in the end he has lost his wife and his family and when the 21 year old realizes in about 5 to 19 that he is really old and gross then he will want you back......the best thing for you to do is go on and do not let him know that he hurt you so much. She will get tired of him I promise, the pain will not go away so easy but lean on your children and you will make it thru.

Answer 7

no he will not cuz it won't take long for the new ness of the sex to sear of and he will soon find out they have nothing in common. also to make u feel better i am a 46 yr old man who left his wife of 14 yrs for a 52 yr old woman who gave me great sex and it was a horrible mistake. he will regret it, trust me.

Answer 8

it is called a mid-life crisis and unfortunately they think they are in love and happy again, until she gets tired and moves on or the viagra stops working :)

he isn't answering your question because to answer it means he actually has to face the reality of what he has done

i know it is hard but be thankful he left and didn't drag you through it ...so many just have an affair and not only affect your emotional health but your physical health as well

:(

Answer 9

He can certainly find lust. The guy made his decision, take him to the cleaners and go on with you life.

Answer 10

your husband is going through midlife crisis.... he will regret this... the question is... will you still be there or willing to forgive him??? (what do they have in common?... just to be her sugar daddy)... stay strong..