Toddler's self-destructive behavior normal???

Question

My 2 1/2 year old daughter has done this since she was mobile. At 7 months she'd hit herself on the head with toys.
At 1 year she would get on her hands & knees & pound her head on the floor or throw herself backwards when she got mad/frustrated. Even knocked herself unconsious once and stopped breathing. E.R nurse didn't believe she did to herself & called CPS.

At 2 she started to head-butt people, the floor, the wall, furniture, the TV (We got a locking TV cabinet after that).

She has done these things in front of the pediatrician and our family child psychologist. Both say is NOT abnormal and she will grow out of it but now is also shrieking, scratching etc.

Out home life is not abusive, she is very intelligent, can count to 5 and recognize her name when written.

My question is what could I be overlooking? Mental disability? Emotional/Psychiatric? Any suggestions/advice appreciated. She is really hard to handle.

For what 't worth, family history of Bi-Polar on Dad's side, ADHD on Mom's side.
I am not into the whole 'Label your child' thing. But I also would never have thought it was possible in a toddler.

I grew up in a chaotic, angry home and have tried to make sure that those experiences have not been repeated.

Also, not pressuring her to learn anything but singing songs and playing with magnetic blocks. She picks up anything she see's or hears. We don't have cable (waste of money). So most of her TV viewing has been Channel 9, public access cartoons or a few select types of videos. (Baby Einstein, Disney, etc) She just really picks up on everything. And she imitates like a parrot.

Answer 1

Small children usually show frustration when trying to communicate, mostly because they don't talk much. It sounds like she has a low threshold for frustration. While people seem to believe kids just "grow out of" things, I don't see how a pattern of behavior can change without actively trying to alter it. This is going to take some committment on your part. Try ABC. First, CAREFULLY document what comes before the acting out. This is called the Antecedent. That's where the A comes from. Next, write down the behavior. Your notes should look something like:

Antecedent
We were sitting down to dinner and "Mary" wanted to eat before we said grace. I said no.

Behavior
"Mary" threw herself on the floor and had a tantrum. For 15 minutes, she cried, screamed, and butted her head on the floor.

Next, the CONSEQUENCE
No, this doesn't mean what you did to punish her. This means what steps you took to try to short circuit the process. You could say:

Next time, before we sit down for dinner, I will tell Mary that we are going to say grace before we eat and praise her if she co-operates.

I have done behavior modification for years and it isn't easy. You have to be consistant with your documentation put it serves two purposes. One, you WILL see a pattern. TWO, so will your health care professionals.

Two more things. One, the idea of behavior modification is to praise good behavior so, when you get a desired response, lavish the praise. Two, pick up and lovingly hold your daughter when she is frustrated and angry. It is important that you communicate at this difficult time that you love her and that you don't want her to hurt herself. Hold her body tightly to yours, in your arms, don't use your hands. Tell her, "I'm holding you because I love you and I don't want you to hurt yourself."

You must make finding the answer more of a science than a battle of wills that is filled with emotion and frustration. If you are frustrated, you won't be able to find the answer you are looking for. So, write it down and look for ways to short curcuit the process. Believe it or not but every out of control behavioral situation happens gradually - from calm to out of control. If you learn the triggers, you can change the behavior.

I do have one more piece of advice. If you find that this situation is too overwhelming for you, take your child to a Psychiatrist. Your child is learning an inappropriate method for dealing with anger. How able she is to deal with anger later on in life depends on how much help and support she gets now. Sometimes, medications are introduced until therapy can take affect. Only a Psychiatrist can determine if that will be necessary in your case. Keep fighting until you get what you need.

I wish you luck.

Answer 2

No, its not typical behavior. Please look up S.I.B.'s self-injurious behavior, and tricotillomania. Suggest having her screened by EI-early intervention, it will get you in the door with a neurologist and/or psychologist quicker, and she many qualify for OT based upon sensory integration issues. Ok so you know about trich, anybody though on line asking about repeated hairpulling that doesn't know anything about it, and most people don't I would refer to looking into it more. Trich is repeated hairpulling which you said your daughter is doing so how would that not be a similarity idk, I am sure that you are aware it is an impulse control disorder and since you work with it, would know if she had this. I have only had the experience of working with a trich patient a half dozen times over 20+ years, so I am in no way an expert on it. If you think its purely behavioral then ignore it, eventually the behavior will become extinct. Being that children's sensory system does not mature until age 6-7 but as late as 10, everyone with sensory seeking behavior should be screened by early intervention. When my son headbanged we did wilbarger brushing protocol, deep pressure and joint compressions all sensory integration based, he stopped it completely after 3 months of therapy. How many of those 12 mother's had any background knowledge in child development or psych? My answers frequently stand out from the others. I see 2 schools of thought early intervention with an emphasis on prevention, or the wait and see denial method. A lot of quirky behavior at this age and even up till 3 works itself out. I have a 22 month old son that also hit the terrible two's early, he does get early intervention too.

Answer 3

Destructive Behavior In Children

Answer 4

I would get a second opinion. I work with a young child with emotional disorders and your description sounds so much like this child - banging of the head / headbutting, falling down and scratching. This could relate to frustration. Does she also slap herself at all? How is her attention span? Does she seem to have trouble verbally expressing herself or does she just use self-destructive behavior instead (I realize at her age this can be tricky)?

I would definitely look into this more - my guess is that something more is there. You might also want to look into behavior centers. Just call and explain your situation and ask if they can recommend a specialist.

Best of luck and you will be in my prayers.

Answer 5

It could be a number of things (I'm not saying it's any of these, just some ideas):

1. She's frustrated because she's more emotionally developed than some other 2 y/os but can't express herself well enough to be understood all the time.

2. You have to ask yourself where she learned this behavior. When you get mad, how do you act (I'm not saying that you act like she does but think of how it looks to a kid).

3. Could be early ADD/ADHD, autism, etc. If you're not feeling like you're getting answers from your ped, then find another one.

4. It could just be her way of acting out. I always found that distraction works best, distraction and ignoring them if possible (if she's on the verge of hurting herself then step in).

Since you said that she's pretty intelligent, it's time to quit saying just "No" and start telling her WHY you're saying no/don't do that. My boyfriend's daughter just turned 2 and for some reason there are two things that work every time...
When she starts throwing a fit I simply say in a calm voice: "Are you pouting/whining etc? I don't like it when you do that" and she realizes that she's not going to get a reaction from me.

The other thing that I do is I say "Hey" pretty softly while getting down on her level and looking her in the eye, she calms down enough for me to tell her that we don't act that way, then if she keeps up I ignore her. She usually stops when she realizes that she's not getting attention.

Answer 6

I would get a second opinion. If she is capable of knocking herself unconscious that to me isn't a good sign. If you let this go on she could cause brain damage to herself, it doesn't take much to damage your brain at her age. bi-polar is hereditary so is ADHD/ADD.....I can imagine it is hard on you to see your child do things to herself it would break my heart. As I said I would get another opinion for you and her I'm sorry it just dosn't sound like a normal thing to me

Answer 7

It could be Mental disability, but I am tending towards a stress reaction to something in the environment. One thing to do is to check for any possible mental condition. The other is to exam the home setting.

My brother had as a very young child rocked his body and would sometimes hit his head repeatedly on the wall in his rocking. It was never clear what was causing it. He grew up to be a Vocal performer, with a Masters Degree in Music. So I doubt that it is anything serious. But I would get her checked out just to rule out any worst case senarios.
It maybe the emotional work up of your child. Like I said my brother is a musically talented person. He is very thoughtful, not sensitivly emotionally, but like they say still waters run deep. That is him, he is always thinking and hates being disturbed. This is not say that he is not friendly, cause he is. When he was very young he was very much into his own world and could entertain himself for hours with his playing. This could be true with your daughter, she maybe very into her own world at this point (and may need to be!). It may be that she needs some thing to interest her and she has not found it yet. Trying new things might be the key.

Children tend to be very resiliant but nocking themselves out and leaving marks is a point to be concerned about right now. Like I have said I would look at the home environment or anyplace that she spends any amount of time. Kids can pick up on There might be someplace that is loud or upsetting to her and is causing this reaction. Kids are very perseptive to emotions too, is there emotionally stressful situations that you are in? Even when you are trying not to show emotion kids can pick up on some things pretty easily.

You said that she can count to 5? Are you pressuring the child to be smart? That might be part of the problem. Kids will develop in their own time. Being a proud parent we sometimes dont see how are actions can cause problems. Just some things to think about, but dont get too worked up about this. Like in Sailing, the best course is a calm one.

Hope some of these things are helpful.

Answer 8

Could be headaches, which arer hard to diagnose at that age. Headaches in toddlers are indicative of a physical problem, that might show up on a cat scan or similar imaging type of test.
You might consult a neurologist.
Parent to parent - best wishes.

Answer 9

if your family paediatrician and psychologist say all is fine....then i would say they are probably right and she will grow out of it...it may not be the most common type of behaviour but like they said its not abnormal either.....the only disorder i can think of that have similar behavioural problems would be Autism....the disorder can not be diagnosed until she is 4......but if her speech is good and she looks at you when conversing then i would not be concerned.....