Am i wrong?

Question

if my mom asks me a question i might answer it with another question. i don't mean any harm i'm just trying to figure out why she does things becuz we don't get along on alot of things. she'll start getting mad, we'll start arguing, she tells my sister and my granny, and now everytime i see a famiy member they're talking about my attitude. i talk to people but i prefer to be alone and feel like i'm independent becuz i'm only 13. i feel like my family can't except that. am i wrong for feeling this way and acting like i do?

Answer 1

Yes, you are wrong for feeling how you do. No matter what age you are, you should never answer a question with another question. First, answer the question you were asked. You may then ask the question you have. Your feelings of independence indicate to me that you wish to be treated more like an adult. An adult would not act in this manner. If you wish to be treated with respect, you will need to show some.

Answer 2

Now why would you ask this?

I do that all the time, also, but then, I am a therapist and that's my job. It drives my family crazy, too. The thing is, when people ask a question, they usually want a direct response, not another question.

If you truly want to understand your mother, there may be better ways to go about it. Answer your mom's questions directly, and then explore.

Also, what questions are you asking her, and how? Do you answer a "Where are your friends going out to tonight?" with a sarcastic "Why do *you* want to know?" or "Why are you always being so nosy?", well, you are giving your mom attitude.

Good communication between family members is essential to a good relationship. There is a source below with a short article with some tips on communicating.

A final note: You state you want to be alone, and to be independent. At 13, that is a perfectly normal desire, and you should be given more freedom. However, with greater freedom comes greater responsibility. Your family may be resistant to your growing up. But they are also concerned for your well-being. A 13 year old is ready to accept more freedom, but is not ready to be totally independent. Part of gaining more independence is proving that you are ready to handle the responsibility that comes along with it. This means doing chores, respecting parents, making an effort to get along with siblings, keeping grades at an acceptable level, and letting your parents know where you are and who you are with.

Answer 3

You're not wrong- if anything, it's your mom that's wrong for not understanding. I feel alone sometimes, and my cure for that is to just get away from anyone for a long time, or until I feel better. You're a teenager- to need your own space is only natural, for anyone of any age. Maybe it's just our type of person, but independence rules my mind sometimes. I feel like I have to question everybody. It's usually on those kinds of days that my friends-especially ari, the person I share the account with- say that "You're in a pissy mood again." I always agree with them. It'll get better if your mom can accept that- and your family shouldn't be gossiping about your behavior- its not something to just talk about like it's something bad. They should understand that, especially seeing as you're thirteen.

Sometimes the only way to find others, is by finding yourself. I know that sounds stupid, but whenever I'm in a 'mood' I always try to figure out if something has put me in that mood, or if it's just to retaliate.
Get someone that you're friends with to let you know when you're behaving oddly. Sometimes you only have to realize you're doing it to let it go- a good punching bag might help too, for those times when relatives come over and you feel surrounded. :)

-Hope I Helped

Answer 4

Hey I'm just a bit older, and it seems like my family and I fight over everything, and I'm kind of a good girl too! I guess ur mom thinks you're givin' her attitude bcuz u don't answer her questions right away. See I like 2 b alone 2, it helps me think, but my family does not always like that. Ur not really doin' anything wrong on purpose, but just talk to your family and watch what u say, don't ignore them or get mad 2 quick, that's what I try 2 do. I hope I helped!

Answer 5

Oh yes... You are behaving incorrectly.. a big surprise will be when you see (find out ) that your mother does know more than you about life , and answering a question with a question is evasive(and considered rude and disrespectful ) looks like you maybe trying to hide something , maybe not but will look that way , please consider that they are talking about your attitude because quite possibly it is not helpful to you (or others )and may in time lead you into some troubles )

Take some friendly advice... have a look at yourself, your friends , family,..... are you really doing the best for yourself and them .....and where will your present attitudes take you .....

Answer 6

Answering a question with another question is annoying if done too often.

Sometimes, it's perfectly acceptable, as long are you aren't trying to be an irritant.

Being somewhat independant is ok too, but don't push a way a loving family.

Answer 7

My mother and I went thru the same thing when I was your age. It annoyed me that she would "turn" family members against me. I was very independent and stubborn, I know. But, to this day, she still tries to have all family members take her side.

Answer 8

You are who you are and that is never wrong.
BUT, at this time you are dependent on them, and the smart thing is to go along with them as far as you can, avoiding confrontations (unless you enjoy them).
Concentrate on when you'll be old enough to leave and do your own thing. Growing up can be tough.
My brother, at age five, told our mother when having a bout with her, this is difficult. Why don't you kill me then the problem is gone.
She didn't but it sure made her think and try to come up with better coping skills. They both survived, I am happy to report! ;-)

Answer 9

yes. wrong you are. WRONG! wrong. wur-ong. wa-uhr-ong. wrong-o. You're 13. deal with it and give your mom a straight answer. If you feel angry and oppressed, google the story about the little boy in foster care who's foster mom hit him in the head with a hammer last year and didn't call the doctor or anything and the kid spent the next 6 days throwing up and sick in bed until he finally died from an untreated skull fracture.

Answer 10

no its ok to feel that way im fourteen and i also feel like
but try to have fun dont let that stop you after all your always going to be having arguments with your parents