I am 17 years approaching 18 and my boyfriend wants to marry me in MAY should I or not?

Question

I am 17 approaching 18 in three months and my boyfriend wants to marry me in MAY after our high school graduation. I really love him but I just don't want to rush things. We have been together for a year and a half. Plus another thing is that we are going to attend two different universities after we graduate. I only live once so what should I do, should I marry him in May or wait about another 2 to 4 years? (And if I do wait then how long should I wait.)

Answer 1

Honestly, if you have to hop onto Yahoo! answers to find an answer to this then no. I'm married, and happily, and it was the easiest decision i had ever made. If you have second thoughts or confusion then you need to step back and think about it. Marriage is supposed to be forever, and it is binding. Going to two other universities will definitely cause problems... if i were you i would tell him that you wanted to see how things would work when you were apart and therefore you shouldn't get married. Good luck!!!

Answer 2

NO!! The main reason that there are so many divorces today is because they rush into the marriage and a few years down the road they realize that they never got to be part of the world. You are so young and there are so many things that you have not seen or done and if you get married now, you may never do them and down the road you may start to hate him because you never got to do what you wanted and you will feel like you have missed out on something. If he really loves you and you love him, you would wait until you both graduate from college, that way if things do change in the long distance relationship, there are no legal issues to deal with, which is better for you both. If the long distance works, then more power to you and it is true love,,get married then

Answer 3

I don't know anybody over 30 who is still on their first marriage. You may want to consider waiting a little bit...there is no need in rushing into your first divorce.

I know this sounds a bit cynical, and I know that it could never happen to you...but...look around you.

At your age, you probably see marriage as some sort of goal...an ending of the old boyfriend game, and the start of "happily ever after". This is not the case.

If I were you, I would wait al least 10 more years, and spend that time looking around a little bit. You may not realize this, but there is a whole world out there beyond your city limits. The odds of you finding your perfect match so close to "home" are very slim. Sooner or later, you will come to the point in your life where this is painfully obvious, and when you get there, it's a lot harder if you are married to the wrong one.

Answer 4

You have a long way to go before you need to settle down and marry. You need to experience what life is like as an adult. Live on your own, go to college, get a job. People change so much between the ages of 18 and 21. If he loves you, then he won't pressure you, and he'll wait until you are ready. You know in your heart that you are not ready, or you wouldn't have asked this question. You will know when the time is right, but nobody knows when that will be. If you never feel the time is right, then maybe, it's not what you want. Good Luck!

Answer 5

One of the best pieces of advice I got from my mother.

If you are unsure, it means no.

I would say don't rush into marriage, especially if you are going to two different universities. Sure, get engaged, but don't set the wedding date. You said you don't want to rush into things, which is a good thing - you need to be sure you want to spend the rest of your life with him. And if you plan on doing that anyway, then what is another 2 years for you both to wait?

Ask him why he is in a rush to be married.
If you love each other and will be faithful to each other, then being apart for a few years isn't going to be a problem. Have you both figured out what you will do after you graduate from university? What city will you both live and work in? Do you both want careers or will one of you be an at-home-parent? There are many things to talk about and make sure you agree on before getting married.

If you are unsure, you can search the web. If you are religious, talk to your Priest/Rabi/Cleric/etc. There are places that do pre-marriage counselling, and they basically run through all the questions you should both be asking yourselves and things you need to sort out before getting married.

Answer 6

I would not advise this at all, marriage is a serious serious commitment. One you don’t seem ready to make, if your going to separated colleges unless they are in close proximity together it makes even less sense. As far as when you would be ready to marry that is really up to you but I personnel would want to wait till after college. Once you get to college you may decided you don’t want to be attached to a guy, 1 ½ year is truly not a long time, it may seem like a long time as maybe this is your longest relationship. People typical do a lot of growing in college its where many truly discover who they are. You or this guy could discover that maybe the other is not the one for you etc.

Maybe you all can get promised its pretty much like a pre-engagement that some couples do

Answer 7

you should definitely wait. after all, if you marry him now, then you two will be together for the rest of your lives. so it wont matter if you wait a few more years to marry him. you should probably wait about 2 or 3 years, so you can see if you can balance college and a husband. Also you need to think about what you want to do after college and what he wants to do. do you think that a marriage between both of you can work out financially? and the fact that both of you are going to different colleges will make things very very hard. there are tons of guys in college, and tons of girls in college. are you sure you can trust him being around tons of different girls 24/7 while you are miles away....for four years??
so either way, you have nothing to loose if you wait about 3-4 years. if you get married after high school, you might realize that things aren't working out in collge...and you might have to get divorced. if you wait, then you have a chance to see weather it will work out or not.

Answer 8

If you are REALLY looking for an answer to your question...
NO...Definitely DON'T get married.
You both have a lot of growing up to do. There is no length of time to wait. Just wait until your paths cross again. Trust me, this will be the toughest choice yet. You both need a career (not just a job), your own place to live, and your own car...Then, you will have covered the basic problems most couples have. Distance is a MAJOR factor, you will find out that both of your thoughts are filled with doubts and accuse each other of cheating.

Answer 9

Your answer was in your sentence "I just don't want to rush things." That along with your age....bad idea. Knowing you want to stay together is enough and take it from there. Real life is not like the show One Tree Hill.......and since you only live once, you might as well make it the most enjoyable and well thought out life you can have. Getting married when you don't really feel it's right isn't exactly doing that.

Answer 10

WOOOO Nellie.......
You are not even close to understanding what your college years will entail. PLEASE understand that your college years will be the best of your life if done right. One thing , and a big one is being free to date and go out. Not something a married person gets to do. "Long Distance Relationship" is an oxymoron, that is, not really a relationship. Lastly, you need to concentrate on your work and get it behind you so your adult life is not saddled with the inability to support yourself. All you need do is spend some time in this section of answers to realize what the ability to work and support yourself will do for you.
Best plan is to enjoy him now, get through high school, graduate and get ready for college. High school is not the end all, its the qualifier.
Where he is concerned, let him go with the knowledge that if it is meant to be, you will both be available AFTER you get the paper.
Do yourself the huge favor of living the college years to their fullest. Get the grades, get the paper, enjoy the sports and activities, become active in school groups or sororities. You get one shot at this and frankly, you can get married anytime.
Trust me your attitude about life and learning WILL change. You will regret tying yourself up and possibly dropping out for the headaches you will bring yourself for getting married now.