i have been married 4 months and in that short time I have walkked out 5 times.. each time I come bak because I do truly love him but he is very manipulating and puts me thru some seriously pathetic arguments. My ex whom I have my only child to has said he loves me and wants me bak. we split up 6 years ago but we still love eachother, im really confused. pls giv me advice!
2006-11-06 10:10:59 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Gee...either get a divorce and go back to the guy you divorced before or stay married and work out your current situatuion.
Sounds like to me when things get rough you run...you need to get your head together and decide what you want.
2006-11-06 10:15:54 · answer #1 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why did you split up with your ex?
What makes you (and him) think it would work this time around?
I would forget about your ex for now and just focus on your marriage as if this conundrum never existed.
Without your ex saying he loved you would you still give up on your new marriage?
Marriage is hard and needs a lot of work, you need to forget about the temptation of getting back with your ex unless you have honestly given up on your marriage.
If things are bad just now it will make the temptation all the more...tempting.
What made you walk out those 5 times? Are you over-reacting? How bad is this manipulation you speak of? Either him, or both of you need to focus on these problems. I assume you already are, but at the very least don't let them get worse.
By walking out but returning, especially so many times, you could be giving the man the wrong signal as he might think that whatever he says or does is okay because you will always come back in the end and it can be fixed.
Even if you think that way yourself one day it might not.
You need to see your marriage for what it is, a commitment, and depending on if things have changed a lot since you've got married or how bad he's treating you..you should stick with it for now. Could it be that your ex is taking advantage of you just now because he knows you're having problems?
What is getting back with your ex going to achieve? Just to get rid of the arguments or to get a break from your man? To feel loved and special?
You can get that with your husband.
Don't feel you should bail out just now just because you have the opportunity... if you know what I mean?
Having said that I am not against divorce or you getting back with your ex in any way. But if you are, just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons.
Also, where does the child come into this? Is this anything to do with one wanting to get back with the other, who has custody?
2006-11-06 18:24:39 · answer #2 · answered by Fluffy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you have not given your marriage time to mature. in the beginning there is a honeymoon stage or get out and run stage. do not be the one who gives up so easily. marriage is sacred and you should take it serious. you are no longer dating this should be your soul mate. never let any one trick you into cheating after all if it was so true and great why didn't you guys marry. sit down and communicate with your husband it is the best thing you could do. I have been married for thirteen years and not all of my years have been peaches and cream, marriage is honored by God keep him first, pray and everything will work out fine. P.S I married at age twenty two and would not trade one year , not even the bad.
2006-11-06 18:26:15 · answer #3 · answered by ashunda h 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Did you marry my husband the same time i did how he did that!!!! no sorry .....just reading this blew me been there reallllllly done that......but one thing for sure if you are a God woman meaning you belong to God then your marraige is a vow unto God a covenate girl that's real , and your husband the head of you his wife along with you oooh yes read that again and hear what i'm really saying is to be a praying ,wise builder, and so on kinda man but girl this stuff is lesson's for yall yes yall because you two are really one now - if God put you together no man gonna put asunder! you got to have live and breath a no matter what I'm gonna love you through this - through what through really learning yourselves.......and learning comes with temptations all the time (these are called distractions) to keep you from learning ALL of your test and lesson ......You dont realize how much God adore marraige........likewise satan hates unions (marraige) that really seek God's approval , and obey God law....so life lessons ....test.....temptations....moments that make no kindda common sense typo .....they come it's not what he do catch this it's your response that's got to cut through, pass test, and jump over hurddles....that is going to change the whole gameso to speak!
2006-11-06 19:00:01 · answer #4 · answered by mema 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When you leave again stay gone and get a divorce. Then you will be free to go back if you still wish to then.
2006-11-06 18:53:05 · answer #5 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
WHAT YOU NEED IS TIME OFF SWEETIE. TIME AWAY FROM MEN, TIME TO THINK ABOUT WHAT IS BEST FOR THAT BABY.HE DID NOT ASK TO COME INTO THIS MESS.
2006-11-06 18:17:09 · answer #6 · answered by Rainbow Brite 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋