This is the 3rd year without her at every holiday...Christmas included. I am upset about this, since he never shows up at my husband and my house...except to get his car fixed at our car dealership.
The few times he has been at our home, I have cooked for him, gave he the beer he wanted and been as graciouse and fun too.
My daughter brings home a 12 pack of a different beer to put in our refrigerator. I asked if I could try one bottle...NO. That's for a party that I'm going to tonite. How do I handle this situation.
2006-11-06 10:02:03 · 7 answers · asked by hillaryc59bc 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Thanksgiving
P.S. My daughter is 24 and he's 31.
I DID tell her we'd be spending thanksgiving with her dad and I alone, that she could do what SHE wanted to this year.
She was surprised and her attitiude changed.
2006-11-06 10:30:52 · update #1
Hi,
I'm sorry to hear that your daughter is not thinking of you & just doing what her boyfriend wants. This really sounds like my daughters boyfriend. I would not cater to him or her. Just be polite & don't try to please him. I'm sure that you told her how you feel. If not then I would do that before the holidays. No matter how he is she is the one going along with spending the holidays with him & his family. So, even though he seems like a jerk, she is being insensitive to you & your husband. Tell her how you feel & if she still keeps doing that then don't invite her. Make you own plans without her. On top of this don't let him come into your home & show any disrespect either. I hope that this can help in some way. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving & holidays with or without her attending.
2006-11-06 10:45:13 · answer #1 · answered by JUDITH K 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You spoiled the kid years ago. The best you can do at this point is grin and bear it and keep hope alive that she will be sorry for being such a selfish brat before you pass on.
Stop fixing boyfriends car, and stop trying to cater to them.
Let them know you really wish they would consider spending some holiday time with you, but that they can do what they want. They will anyway. Live your own life and find some friends that appreciate you.
2006-11-06 10:12:43 · answer #2 · answered by DJ 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The solution our family came up with as we children grew up and went out on our own was to hold the Family holiday on another day. For example our Christmas this year will be at our parents house on the 26th. After all it is not the day of the week that is important but the opportunity to get together and enjoy each others company. Suggest to your daughter that she talk it over with her boyfriends parents and seeing how they have been going together for at least 3 years you could have his parents over also.
2006-11-06 10:31:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
your daughter is being very selfish and self-centered. You don't say how old she is...but if early 20's you need to talk to her and find out if it is her or the boyfriend that does not want to come to your house for holidays. Any negative attitude toward the boyfriend will probably push your daughter further away so try to find out what goes on where they spend their holiday and the reason they do not want to come to your house. Maybe suggest day prior or after holiday that everyone gather at your house.
2006-11-06 10:21:16 · answer #4 · answered by inquiring mind 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to the both of them and tell them how you feel for being excluded on the holidays.
As for the beer and car fixes, you teach people how to treat you. Next time they ask for a beer tell them no, they are for someone or soemthing else.
You will feel better when you start acting less like a door mat.
Good luck to you.
2006-11-06 10:12:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you'll be out of town on Christmas this year so you hope she will be able to spend it with his family AGAIN. She'll have a fit because you didn't consider her and tell her you'll stay home if she had planned to spend the holiday with you.
2006-11-06 10:26:44 · answer #6 · answered by DeborahDel 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get used to it! We have dealt with not seeing our son because she has to spend time with her parents and then her grandparents and aunts and uncles then go over to his dad's(my ex) and spend time with his family(the ex outlaws) then finally come on over. We get very little time with him and I miss it dearly, but now they have a baby on the way and babysitting and time with grandma & grandpa will be priceless. I am patient because he know who he can "For Sure" rely on forever and will make a little time for his mother. Sit back and wait. She will come around. Right now she is forming her life and all of a sudden she will realize how much your wisdom and love is needed.
2006-11-06 10:30:44 · answer #7 · answered by All 4 JR 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋