Do I have a problem with my fiance?

Question

My fiance is a great cook, understands me completely, makes me laugh and gives great hugs. I feel safe and loved with him.

But he always falls asleep the minute he gets in and goes to bed by 9pm. I'm feeling really lonely and worried I'm going to spend our entire married life watching him sleep. Do I have a serious problem or am I being silly when he has so many good things about him?

We've been together 10 years and I never regret not seeing other people or going out and getting drunk but I'm worried I might if I carry on watching him sleep night after night. I wouldn't mind but I'm 25 not 80!! What can I do and should I marry him?

Answer 1

You need to pray my friend! Prayer is very powerful. Read "Power of a Praying Wife"
Go to a Christian church and ask for prayer. It is free and best thing you can do for yourself. Trust me I know. Prayer has restored my dying marriage. Praise the Lord!

Answer 2

Well, unfortunately this seems to happen once you have been together for some time. People grow so used to each other that they tend to take parts of the relationship for granted. It sounds like you really want to be with your fiance, so that is why it is so important that you talk with him about how you are feeling. If you are expecting some close time at night and would maybe like to make a little whoppie, than you need to provoke him and let him know that you are serious. Walk in the room dressed in something crazy, and let him know that he will not be going to bed early tonight because you have something in store for him. Believe me, unless he is exhausted he will not turn you down.

Answer 3

Well the fact that you are asking about whether or not you should marry him over this tiny thing makes me more concerened that there are probably other underlining issues in which you are dealing with concerning him. I would sit down with him and have a talk, maybe compromise a bit, a few days a week go to bed with him early, and maybe a few nights when he doesn't have to work the next day you can stay up later together

Answer 4

Melissa, dear, when I researched sleep and vitamin deficiencies, I came up with a lot of sites on depression. Looks like your man may be depressed.

I'd see if I could get him to the doctor for some bloodwork, and then start a nutritious diet rich in B vitamins (green leafy's). He may also be dealing with anemia. (Iron: Beef) See what the results of the blood work is then consult with his doctor regarding his diet and nutrition. Ask about supplements, including a B Complex.

The depression should go away once he feels he has some strength.

Check out the links below to start. This is a medical issue, from what I see. Start with his doctor and take it from there.

Answer 5

What time do each of you get up in the morning? This is one thing you left out. If he is up at 4:30 and you lay in the bed till 10 or 11 this is the problem. If you two both get up about the same time then you may need to look into some vitamins or something else to wake him up.

Answer 6

There is nothing wrong with wanting some affection (and action for crying out loud) in your relationship. The best thing you can do is express your feelings to your fiance. Explain to him that you want the two of you to do more exciting things and share passionate intercourse. Let him know that you don't want everything to be the same way, everyday, boring schedule, on a daily basis.
A marriage is a two way street so both of you need to compromise! Before you get married, make sure improvments are made!

Answer 7

This sleep pattern has gone on for 10 years? Has he ever checked with a doctor for vitamin deficiency or a sleep disorder? What about sleep apnea? Anemia?
Really, it could be a medical condition and not his fault.
All in all though, it has been 10 years of this so you either get resigned to it or you don't stay. It'd be awful for you to build a resentment toward him as more years pass. He sounds like a really great guy. Best wishes to you both.

Answer 8

I wish I could stay up that late.I Need to be in bed by 5pm if I want to get 8hrs sleep. I have a hard job and I need that much sleep to do my job well and keep it.If I want to share my time with anyone its between 12 noon and 4pm .If its his job thats causing this that sucks. I have to do things right after. Try haveing things to do as soon as he gets home, let him freshen up qoickly then go

Answer 9

You have to be a little more understanding. You obviously love the guy. He is simply tired. That's how men deal with fatigue. They sleep. Every guy is like that. Give him something fun and exciting to look forward to at the end of his day and he may just surprise you. Don't be upset with him, simply make some changes of your own and see where it leads you. Life is only as exciting as we wish to make it. Make some excitement happen and you'll be much happier.

Answer 10

If he understands you completely, then he'll understand that you don't want to be alone when he goes to bed. Same thing happened to me when I was engaged. He was in bed by 9 and I was all by my self. Eventully I left him for somebody else because I didn't want to be that alone.
If you really wanted to change things up, you could adjust YOUR schedule so you go to bed at the same time, then you don't have to watch him sleep.
Good luck. Girls with too much time on their hands can sometimes get themselves in trouble. They need the attention of their man and may go elsewhere to get it.

Answer 11

Have you ever told him that its a problem? Its really hard to be with someone when you arent on the same time frame.. maybe you should tell him that its an issue with you and maybe he would be willing to stay up an extra hour or so so that you can catch up or spend time talking.. or whatever you want?