we have been seperated for about 21/2 mons now! He doesnt even make an effort 4 our girls. Married 4-0yrs and he acts like we dont exist. HOw do i just let it go, i know there is men outhere better than him. i have tried going out & everytime i just feel guilty why? i am not the one that is cheating, he is! Eventhough he denies it, my heart tells me so. He dont pick the girls he doesnt even provide. When i go out i want to meet people, i could just hang out with once in a while as all my friends, i practically last them when i got marry & the few that i have left are tight up with their own life. i have no luck meeting no one, i am not in hurry to get into another relationship but i do want to have someone i could talk 2 when i need someone. I keep finding myself looking 4 him & all he does is remind me how i dont mean nothing 2 him. why does he have 2 be so cruel, i know we had our ups & downs but does he have 2 treat me so shiety @ all times? I love him & he only uses me, Why?
2006-11-06 09:41:32 · 7 answers · asked by HelpmeFast 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we're in thesame boat... what's your email?
2006-11-06 09:49:55 · answer #1 · answered by Morena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's times like these when we search for answers that can't be found. I don't know exactly how you feel, no one does i'm sure...except for the Lord. It is okay to feel the way you do, I just want you to know that. You have a lot of reasons to feel upset, but you also have a lot of reasons to find meaning and love in your life. The Lord for one is there when all others fail to meet our needs. Your children and family can be a great source of love and admiration. Sometimes I tell people to take it one day at a time...but saying that is a lot easier than doing it. So, the only thing I can say is let yourself feel. He may not be worth your tears, but you are. I hope that you find your way through this hard time. You are precious to the Lord, may He bless you with strength.
2006-11-06 09:49:47 · answer #2 · answered by missesbean 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is so sad that women actually love with all their heart! I know, I am going through the same thing! You have something truly beautiful out of your realtionship and that is your girls. Don't ever belittle him/or his actions in front of them. He is still their dad, no matter what. They will grow up one day and see that you poured your heart and soul into the relationship and that you are the "better person" for all that you devoted to it and to them. They will be your strength through this. Find a new group of friends to associate with and by all means do not jump into another realtionship until the pain subsides and it will. Instead of feeling guilty try feeling thankful! Yep, thankful, be glad for the good times, the good memories and be more than thankful that you don't have to go through the heartache with him anymore. It is hard to move on, but remember that you never get more than you can handle. Don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help, you deserve it and so do your girls. Hang in there, kiddo, behind every down pour is a rainbow. You will always love him but you won't always be "in love" with him!
2006-11-06 10:02:11 · answer #3 · answered by diana b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's in desperate need of emotional help. However you also have to be honest with yourself. Do you force yourself on him will you not let him go? If so this may irritate him causing him to abuse you in return.
Let him go its time. Its never easy but youre only destroying yourself emotionally by hanging on. Its time to find yourself. Join a group geared toward divorce or separation. make friends who can relate and help each other through.
You have no choice now its either sink or swim. Its time to swim sweetheart. Best of luck to you
2006-11-06 10:04:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get yourself a support system or friends, family, or church. u love him because it is hard to leave someone we love, and admit to ourselves we aren't important to them anymore, or that we aren't loved. a hurt heart takes time to heal,we have to go through a grieving process to get over it. unfortunatly sometimes we have never set boundaries with the ones we love, never stood up for ourselves, because we feared abandonment. when someone we love cheats and leaves us helpless,we are overwelmed,our self concept, how we feel about ourself, is diminished. your going through a crisis, and u need to get your self worth back, the marriage as u knew it is no longer there,and u feel hopeless. so u need help in getting through it. i too felt hurt when i learned from my ex, he never cared for me, it was a shock to my entire world. just get some help, and know that there is life after a divorce, and pain doesn't leave us where it finds us.
2006-11-06 10:21:45 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry honey but that is the cruel facts of life once u love someon so much and spend so much time with them its not easily forgotten good luck
2006-11-06 09:49:11 · answer #6 · answered by mommyof3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lamentably theres several guys out there like that. IF he treats you that way he probably never loved you. ITs hard to accept but its true. just go ahead and try to move on. its hard but you owe it to yourself and your kids.
2006-11-06 09:49:42 · answer #7 · answered by urhomiesid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋