Breast-feeding, should it really be a woman's choice?

Question

I know it sounds silly, but I don't know if I want to breast-feed. My husband thinks it's selfish because if I don't, I wouldn't be doing everything possible to give the baby a healthy start to life. I know breast-feeding has many nutritional and health benefits, but I just don't like the thought of doing it personally. Do you think my husband is right?

Plus, it doesn't seem fair that I would be the one getting up in the middle of the night to feed while he sleeps. I can't stand the thought of pumping either.

Answer 1

I agree with your husband. Breastfeeding is what's best and that's been proven. Being able to breastfeed is a blessing and if you don't even try I think it's selfish.

Answer 2

It should be your choice. It is your body. While breast-milk is the best for the baby, the formula they have now is a very good substitute. I think that it is sad that you don't want to do it, but I don't think your husband should try to guilt you into it. I have 2 children and I breastfed both. But with the oldest we had lots of problems and I was only able to breastfeed for 6 weeks. My youngest was breastfed for 14 months. My younger child is the healthier of my two kids. If you are uncomfortable with breastfeeding the baby will sense that and it will be harder for you. FYI - Unless you have a REALLY good husband, odds are you'll still be the one getting up in the middle of the night to feed the baby and if you are breastfeeding the milk will be ready as soon as the baby is and you won't have to go to the kitchen to prepare a bottle when you're half asleep.

Answer 3

I believe is fair enougth that is our choice to do it or not to do it. Iguess, you shouldn't do it because of what your husband thinks or what anybody else say about it. (well you have to take in count the doctor's advices as always).

Anyway, you should do it for your self, you migth find in that choice - breast feeding - some advantages for you, i tell you by my own experience.

First, If you do it, that migth help you to loose the waight you gained during pregnancy, it´s dificult sometime to return to your original size, and feeding your baby will help you, if you keep eating healty because he will use lots of the nutrients from what you are eating.

Second, the moment of the feeding is a natural bound that you are going to make with your baby, you wouldn't get it in any other way. The baby smells, and know who you are specially because of the feeding, he or she will do it anyway, but that will make it stronger i can tell you.

Third, you will feel so proud of your self, as you will never be with any other acomplishment you achieve. I have found that being as better mom as i can have given me the better feelings of my self i have ever had - i am a good person in general, and i am a professional and good on what i do - it´s not only a lack of oporttunities to be proud of my self. But this have been specially reconforting, and its so refreshing the acknowledge of this little person that would be completely dependent on you, for only a couple of months that i wouldn't change it for anything.

So, don't think about the nights, you migth find some support by asking your husband to bring the baby to you. Sometimes the babies will sleep for more than 5 hours, if you help him by giving him the environment for it, and you try to sleep at the time he or she is sleeping.

I hope you find this encouraging, because it is specially important for the babies health, and it will be for the bound you are doing with him or her.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Hi! My name is Liz i have a 3 month old baby who I have exclusively breastfed. I wasnt sure that I really wanted to do it at first either. My sister did it with 2 outta the 3 kids she has and I didnt want to feel pressured to do it. I finnaly made up my mind to breast feed because it is best for the baby. Plus if you go back to work... your less likely to have to call out because your baby is less likely to get sick if you breast feed. Also, on the being the only one to get up at night... I dont get up at night, i nurse by baby in bed I make my husband get up in the middle of the night with her to change her and bring her to me to nurse. That way there im not the only one getting up with her and then she develpos a bond with her daddy. Its definatly not ok that your husband is pressuring you into something you dont want to do though. You need to decide what works for you, your husband and the baby. I was very nervous about pumping also. I was scared and also scared that i would lose my bond with my baby if i gave her a bottle of breast milk. I thought "shes going to think i dont love her any more because i want her to take a bottle every once in a while instead of being there every second of the day". I started going to a nursing moms group and they give support to nursing moms and answer questions and give advise and are there to just listen. I actually made a bunch of new friends by going to the group friends that i have something in common with now. So let me know what you decide and im always here to email if you need some support!
Hope this helped!
- Liz

Answer 5

ITs really your choice. if your not comfortable with the idea then dont do it. Breastmilk is best but if you dont want to pump or nurse then give the baby formula. I asked my hubby and he said it was up to me that it was my body. being a mother is never fair hun, moms dont get sick days! would be nice though! you will do everything to give your child a good start on life! just because you choose not to breast feed doesnt make you selfish. What about women who are unable to breast feed, are they selfish as well? i would talk to your husband in depth about this but ulitimatly its your decision because its your body.

Answer 6

I agree with your husband that it is selfish. I mean you hear all of the things about it's your choice since it's your body but what about the chidl's choice. They cannot choose what they'll eat at this point, you have to choose for them. Why would you not choose the healthiest of the 2 options?? I know it may be uncomfortable for you think of but you never know unless you try it. Oh & as far as getting up in the middle of the night not being fair..that's life & breastfeeding is MUCH easier than formula feeding in that aspect. You don't have to heat the bottle, you get up, grab the baby, lay back down & feed the child. It's much much quicker, I have found. At least give it a try, you owe your baby that much! It's also a myth that you may not have enough milk, so don't let that stop you either.

Answer 7

It is your choice. But I do think you should at least try it before you decide against it. I breastfed all 3 of my kids, but I know it isnt; for everyone. Getting up at night isnt so bad. No formula to mix, no bottles to warm. It really couldnt be easier. And you can make a tag team out of it. He can get up and get the baby while you get situated to feed. Or he can change and burp the baby. That way you dont feel like you are doing this alone. I think that it is great that he wants you to breastfeed. Lots of women have men who are not supportive of this. Please at least try it. You may be surprised how incredible that bonding feeling is and how much you actually enjoy feeding your baby. But your husband has to be understanding if you decide that it isnt' for you after all. I think you can compromise. Tell him you will try it for the first month, then you can decide, it is your body, but he needs to support you whatever your decision. Good Luck

Answer 8

Since you have the breasts it is your choice, but it is your husband's baby too and you should respect his thoughts.

I personally agree with him, that it is selfish not to at least try....some women are fine with it after initial misgivings.
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I did it for 8 months, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life (include my masters degree thesis) REALLY the hardest. I didn't really like it all that much, but it was the best thing for my child so I did it.

Parenting is not about even steven.....besides once the baby is at least 6 weeks old, you can pump and let him get up.

To not do something because you think it is icky is rather immature.

That said, if you're going to resent him and your baby for it, and your heart is not in it, you're going to fail.

I say at least try for two weeks...give your baby the best start and you may like it. It does get easier every week, it is the best food for your baby, and it is much cheaper.

You two should take a breastfeeding class together.

Answer 9

Breast feeding is the best thing for a baby and the baby's health. The other side benefits are, quicker health recovery for the woman. The uterus gets back into shape and breast feeding women tend not to have saggy bags in later years, staying firm and perky.

Answer 10

I think breastmilk is every baby's birthright. It's much easier to switch from breast to bottle than from bottle back to breast. The immunities that are provided by breastfeeding are very important. The colostrum (first milk) acts as baby's first immunization. Personally, I would suggest that you commit to at least giving it a try. Try for the time you are in the hospital. Or commit to the first 2 weeks. Or commit to doing it until you get back to work, if you are doing so. Then somewhere in there, make a decision about how you feel about continuing it and if you like it or not. I really think it's far too important to totally write off the possibility without even trying.

Answer 11

I agree with your husband. "I just don't want to" isn't a good enough reason IMO, especially when it comes to your baby's health. Having BTDT, breastfeeding is a heck of a lot easier in the middle of the night than preparing a bottle of formula, especially if you co-sleep. Try it for a good 3 months, once you get past the initial confusion of trying something new I bet you'll be glad you didn't give up.