ive been with my husband for three years our sex life has always been amazing , the past month or so weve been having a few problems he did something to really hurt me and now when we make love i feel like its just a s**g to him, he says he isant doin anything different plz help
2006-11-06 09:26:16 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Talk to Him, if he does not want to either talk or listen, then No Sex is the Order of the Day, till you resolve the problems.
2006-11-08 21:14:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if it's only been a problem for the last month, and you've had great sex for years, then maybe it's a temporary problem. It could be he's stressed out about something.
As you've experienced some pain, maybe you should consider whether anything has physically changed with you, which may be causing the discomfort? It might be worth getting it checked out.
Perhaps you should try something different? Try some other sexual activities which don't involve actual penatration - sexy massages, little games, oral, 69s, whatever works for you :) Perhaps a bit of variation will help :)
If you're finding he's just not 'into' sex as much at the moment, try giving him space. Sometimes my boyfriend just isn't in the mood for sex for a couple of weeks. But once he's feeling better, it great again. Maybe your husband needs some space and time?
Obviously I don't know your husband, so none of this may be relavent to you! However, I hope some of it helps :)
2006-11-06 17:38:29 · answer #2 · answered by Laurelin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, it's you not him. The difference between making love and just doing it is in the mind. The action will always be the same. You are going to have to concentrate on the tenderness and caressing. If he doesn't return it after a few times of really giving it your all, and still denies he's doing anything differently, you might think about counseling. (Yes there are sex therapists out there)
2006-11-06 17:32:08 · answer #3 · answered by bubb1e_gir1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to work on all marriages, if you dont they will fall apart. The most important thing, is to talk to each other honestly, neither of you are mind readers.
Pick an appropriate time, (not befor a footy game) or when you will only have a short time to discuss it. Seriously tell him how you feel, the chances are he won't remeber what he did wrong anyway, unless of course its a serious problem, in which case you both may need outside help.
But talk to him.
2006-11-07 05:48:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he know how much you are hurting or have you just let it go by the way side? I think for you to get the feeling back you need to let him know how you are feeling. This is not easy because for some it could be just a fiance thing where as other is it a emotional detachment. Check with him and let him. Know. Sorry he has hurt you but you both need to find value in the relationship.
Best of luck to you.
2006-11-06 17:32:17 · answer #5 · answered by ferretcoach 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You admit you've been having problems, which speaking from experience I know that problems outside the bed can be taken to bed without really realizing it... maybe you haven't or can't get over what he's done enough to loosen up and accept that he wants to make love like he always has done. Maybe you're expecting something more, or maybe you've just realised something's missing that's always been missing you just never noticed it till it became a problem. Make sure you're on good terms out of bed before going to bed, you'll be cool.
2006-11-06 17:31:42 · answer #6 · answered by Maz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like both of you need to have a night out on the town and talk this over. Perhaps its something he or you have done and if so only time will mend a broken heart.Relationships are sometimes hard to deal with.When you two meet on common ground and work this out both of you will be stronger at the end. Maybe try praying about it together. Prayer does help mend things rather we want to admit it or not good luck and may God be with you two
2006-11-06 17:34:08 · answer #7 · answered by xlhdrider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what he did but he hurt you, this is having an effect on the relationship, if you intend to stay together then leave the past behind and take a giant leap for your future. stop thinking of the hurt and look forwards to the good times, think of how your sex life used to be and initiate the same, don't wait for him to make all the moves. it takes courage but in my book marriage is for 'better or worse' and we don't give up on the first worst!!! keep hugging keep loving and trust, good luck xx
2006-11-06 19:58:39 · answer #8 · answered by pottydotty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you recovered from the hurt he caused you? if you haven't, i think you need to talk about this with your husband as well as the loveless sex. if you want to rekindle the love in the bedroom you used to have, confront your hurt and try and push past whatever this problem is, together. communication really is so important to a relationship. and if both of you want to work things out and make things how they were, i'm sure you can, provided you both try!
good luck, and i hope some of this is useful!
x
2006-11-06 23:52:00 · answer #9 · answered by kinetic belle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that its u that has changed how u feel about ur love making rather than him doing it differently . It can take months/ years for the hurt to subside and what ever he did obviously hurt more than u have realised
Maybe marriage guidance would help ?
Good luck x
HOW COME IN ANOTHER QUESTION UR ASKING IF U CAN MAKE HIM LAST LONGER ?? I DONT GET IT ?
2006-11-06 17:31:14 · answer #10 · answered by kirsty d 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋