My husband and i got married when we were 18 and 17 right out of high school after a year of dating we eloped. My parents could not stand him at all thought he as a looser and spoiled brat. His family was snobby and thought i ruined there sons life.After being married 3 months it was hard the standard of living for both of us dropped dramaticly i found out i was pregnant he was fine with it till he saw the utra sound we seperated his choice.I went back home(to my parents) and gave birth to our daughter started working for my moms buisness that she owns and going to college. I will be graduating this year with degree in finance.My husband and i have yet to file the paper work for divorce. I started seeing someone else for the last 2 yrs an old friend from kindergarden who moved away when we were young.He is wonderful with my daughter and she calls him dad. Problem is her father recently called and wants to be a family again i dont now what to say? can cause legal trouble?
2006-11-06 09:19:35 · 10 answers · asked by Isabel G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know what estranged hubby is like and i dont want a problem especially since he is raciast and my bf is African American and a little ruff around the edges and appearances but he is in college with me and hard working.
2006-11-06 09:20:20 · update #1
I will be getting married to my bf next year!
2006-11-06 09:22:45 · update #2
Don't let your kids call someone else Dad unless you are married to that person. You are jacking up you daughter. Shame!
2006-11-06 09:21:59 · answer #1 · answered by Senor Pig 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have been away from your husband for 2 years, how can he expect you to just drop everything and be a family again?? Is he mentally impaired??
You have your own life now, and you are happy. Your ex cannot just drop back into your life, its not fair on you or your little girl. Has your ex seen your little girl in the 2 years you have been separated?? If he walked out on you once, he could do it again! I doubt very much he could cause you many problems legally, except for wanting access to see your little girl, the fact that you have been separated for so long will play a big part, especially if he hasn't seen your little girl much in that time. I would tell him that he can see your little girl for access (you can't really deny him that, and courts would be annoyed if you dont allow it) but I would have it supervised until you are satisfied he is ok with her and you feel comfortable. Also I would tell him you have your own life now and basically he blew it when he walked out on you just when you needed him most. Unless, of course, you are thinking of taking him back, I wouldn't. Not after all this time, he obviously wasn't ready for parenthood at the time and to think that he can just stroll in after having 2 years of fun while you have been working hard and raising a child is just ridiculous! Give him his marching orders!! Live your life!!
2006-11-06 09:34:58 · answer #2 · answered by Sandi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only decision you have to make here is whether you want to be married or not. It sounds like your answer is no, so what you need to do is get a lawyer and file for divorce first. Your lawyer will be able to guide you through the custody issues...and since you have had custody for 2 years, you should retain it.
Your estranged husband will or may be entitled to visitation rights and will also be subjected to Child Support. As for your boyfriend, that isn't any of your husbands concern, so just keep your boyfriend out of your marital problems. Once the divorce is filed and/or finished...then worry about that.
2006-11-06 09:23:58 · answer #3 · answered by tjjone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOUR HUSBAND LEFT YOU WHILE YOU WERE PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD! The divorce papers should be filed immediately, and it is time to move on with your life. From what you said, your daughter does not know her real father. 2nd of all, it's not safe for your daughter to call your boyfriend dad. If something should happen where you and him would seperate, it would be sooo hard for her.
Back to your husband...it is your decision if you want to be a family, but right now, you have to think of your daughter. What is best for her? You need to talk to a lawyer regarding your rights, and your husbands rights, when it comes to your daughter.
As far as your boyfriend...it doesn't matter what color skin he has, or what he dresses like, what is his character. Is he a good man? Will he love your daughter like he would his own. That is all that matters.
Good luck!
2006-11-06 09:27:52 · answer #4 · answered by Kate 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well- there is another reason not to date -when you are still married- I don't think it can cause legal trouble unless he has a criminal background- does him wanting to be a family again mean he wants to move back in- and has he been seeing his dau. the last 2 years?? If he had not been seeing her- you could have gotten him on child abandonment=You say you don't know what to say- the choice is yours- D
2006-11-06 09:30:07 · answer #5 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep it business. File for divorce. Don't tell him about your personal life. Just get a lawyer and start the paper work. If you placate this guy in any way you'll be asking for a heep of trouble. He wants back in your life because his is screwed up and remembers good times with you and See's that you are about to make something for yourself. Don't be fooled he wants the free ride of your education. As far as the black boyfriend goes, that is your business not his, if you love this guy and hes a good guy I don't care if he's green... Don't ruin the great start you made for you and your child by allowing this guy back. You'll regret it the rest of your life, I was there. My ex tried to do the same thing to me and I wouldn't let her....
2006-11-06 09:27:12 · answer #6 · answered by Donald P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI!
I agree with the person who said your daughter should not call someone else "Daddy", but it is hard if dad is not there. You should have gotten the divorce and be done with him. now start the legal things and get ion with life and tell your darling daughters Father that he was not there and could not have cared less about her so you have moved on!!!!! He does not have to know about your new person unless you tell him!!!!! Your life!!!
2006-11-06 09:25:32 · answer #7 · answered by -------- 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't you know what to say? what do you want? It's your choice. And you need to sort this out legally with a divorce and a custody schedule right away.
2006-11-06 09:23:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can attempt to get custody of your daughter, but I doubt that his reasons will hold any merit.
2006-11-06 09:22:39 · answer #9 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
draw your lines carefully and with a lawyer. let your lawyer talk to him. if you must talk to him, be civil and no more.
2006-11-06 09:26:47 · answer #10 · answered by Angel Baby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋