My wife and I are going through a divorce and the pretrial is in 3 weeks, untill then she will not let me...?

Question

My wife and I are going through a divorce and the pretrial is in 3 weeks, untill then she will not let me...?
visit our newborn son unsupervised and since I dont agree with that I dont visit. I do have a drug and drinking problem that has led to my arrest and hospitalization but I have been sober for 3 months and holding a steady job. I have not seen my son in 3 weeks and when I last asked to bring him to my house she refused because she does not like my family and thinks I am not sober. What do you think? I also have quit handing her cash because I will only buy baby supplies....if she asks...what should I do? I am asking the judge for joint custody, I live with my mother and want my son to visit me there...do you think the judge will agree? I also have a personality disorder, does this matter?

Answer 1

The two of you need to stop using the children as pawns. The two of you can't stop fighting and using the children hurts them not each other. You both need to grow up and handle things more maturely. Just because she doesn't choose to be mature doesn't mean you have to respond in kind. Don't sink to her level. If she allows supervised visitation, isn't it worth dealing with for the sake of seeing your child? If this issue will be resolved in court in 3 weeks, if you want to see your child bad enough, it's nothing to put up with for such a short time. It wouldn't matter to me if she asked me to dress in some stupid outfit, have 3 policemen on hand and wear purple gloves the whole time....you're doing it for the sake of the child. Put the child first now and forever. You'll also look better before the court for being the mature one, putting up with her demands all in the name of just seeing your child.

Answer 2

Except of the drugs and alcohol part, I'm in the same boat. My kids are 6 and 1. You can get a court order to get visitation, but since the pretrial is only 3 weeks, I would say grin and bear it. Who is supposed to supervise while you're with your son? If it can be a relative or friend, just have your wife meet you somewhere to pick up your child. Legally, she can't really stipulate visitation, and it takes a hell of alot to prove a parent unfit. But right now, do the supervised if you really want to see him that bad, beats fighting with her.

Answer 3

dude, i have been in this situation, and quite frankly, she IS doing the right thing because she is protecting her flesh and blood from a person that can not be trusted. 3 months is nothing in the grand scheme of all the time you HAVEN"T been there.... there is a reason why you are getting divorced... and what about the nine months that she was pregnant, protecting your child in her womb? where were you? looking for your next high? maybe taking out some manic/depression on her?

if you knew nothing else about a person except that they were a drunk, and a druggie with a personality disorder would you allow your newborn son to leave the house with them? drive with them? stay the nite with them?

if you answer yes, then say that to a judge... he will laugh in your face.

and to Jsomething--- did you overlook the part about him being a druggie and drunk and personality disorder??? really now!

Answer 4

I am confused to whom I would be responding to. I looked at the profile to check out previous questions. Bipolar Mom or Drug Dad?? But you are a Mommy on this site?
Seems like you both have problems.

Answer 5

go thru the court....tell them whats been going on .......but if you mess with her youll wish you didnt......do things the correct way......bother her .....you go to jail! hows that gonna look when you try for visitation.....so think b4 you act....or youll b sorry! the 2 of you need to get things worked out.....now! your kids dont deserve or want to be in the middle of it......so be the parents they need you to b!....dont make them suffer thru this crap!doesnt matter who is at fault.......just fix it !