In the beginning it was great cuz i was young (18)& nieve,but one day i asked him for a favor & he said he wouldn't do it.It was then I seen the light & realized the relationship wasn't great & it never was.I ended up cheating on him for 7 mos.& yes, he found out & was upset & still upset but did care,but In the middle of the 7 mos. I decided to move out behind his back,well, that lasted for 4 days he made everything sound great so I moved back in!1 year later&wish i never moved back in.See the problem is he is very controlling, posessive, & emotionally abusive.He never let me have friends or do anything on my own & he limits/stops me from seeing my family, & he doesn't want me to lose weight or get job.I am miserable & I feel like i'm wasting away i'm 26 yrs old & sometimes I feel like its to late to get out.We don't have any kids (thank God) & we're not married.But he wants a kid (probably to keep me home)&marriage.So i know i have to make a move soon.i'm just not sure how to end it
2006-11-06 08:38:07 · 14 answers · asked by nailart 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sounds very similar to my problems of the past. If he is that controlling then my guess is he can manipulate you some too. so confronting him head on might not be the best way to go. What you need is space. time to think about what you want and where you want your life to go. I know its hard but i think you might just have to sneak away like i did. distance has a way of putting your own thoughts into perspective. if you can go to your family or any close friend and DO NOT SEE OR TALK TO HIM. I know this sounds like oh its easy for her to say that, but trust me, I had to do the same thing and with 2 kids along for the ride. my family was 500 miles away but i left my ex and came home. alot has happened between then and now, but i am so glad i left when i did. i am now 34 yrs old and he almost took the best years of my life. dont ever let anyone do that to you. you are a remarkable creature, unique and no one should be made to feel abused even emotionally. I put up with it for 12 years. everyone of us has inner strength and you will find yours and find the right path for your life. good luck.
2006-11-06 08:47:12 · answer #1 · answered by jenkins_nichole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU LEAVE, seriously, just get out and leave change your phone number, and disappear, take only the things that are necessary for you to live of off, clothes etc. and get out. You are wasting away at 26 and you don't want to bring a child into an abusive home think about that very long and hard. If you are afraid of him then get a restraining order and that way he cannot come near you. DO NOT fall for his I love you drama, he is a as*hole who needs to get some serious help and you need to get away. Go to a friends or family members house, if you are working then tell them you need to take a emergency leave of abscense and that you will let them know when you will be back. Just be careful and get the restraining order and get out of there
2006-11-06 08:47:39 · answer #2 · answered by melissa052572 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
End it fast. It will only get worse. You can't keep on living in a situation like this. Go to a friend or family member you can trust. If you have no one it will be harder but not impossible. Make a clean break tell him what bothers you and tell him it's the end no matter what. He'll try to call you but you must stay strong and always remember the reasons why you wanted to leave him. Please break up with him. These kind of things have a horrible ending and staying with a person like this will cause more damge than you can imagine.
2006-11-06 08:50:06 · answer #3 · answered by kupumentira 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem here is that you need to realize that he is supposed to be your boyfriend not your father, once you establish that, you are on the way. You are still young with your whole life ahead of you, let go and do it swiftly and rapidly. A man or woman that tries to control you does not love you, that is not love, please understand that. Love is kind and gentle, not abrasive and controlling. He has no self-esteem and is very miserable so he needs to have an emotional slave to make him feel like he is worth something, don't let him do that to you, get away from him now, there is nothing redeeming about this relationship.
2006-11-06 08:47:01 · answer #4 · answered by earthstarlatin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you have moved out before, what's stopping you from doing the same right now? You are part of your problem because you keep taking him back. It's time you make a decision to leave and stick with it. You just have to tell him straight that it is not working out anymore and that you want to move on. You have to be firm and you have to go through with it.
2006-11-06 08:41:31 · answer #5 · answered by Leila G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How does he not "let" you have friends or see your family? Are you 26 or 6? As an adult, you can do whatever you want. If he gets angry, so be it; tell him you're going to do what you want to do and if he doesn't like it, tough, that if he wants to leave you over those things to go ahead. Now, if he's violent, that's a different story and you should get out immediately.
2006-11-06 08:42:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either go with family or find a place of your own but GO. You have given him 8 years to straighten up and as you see he will never change. Keep yourself occupied with family, friends, church, counselor........whatever it takes to forget him. I wouldnt be jumping into any relationships right now though because you need time to heal. Emotional abuse leaves scars that people cant see but you yourself can feel. Be good to yourself and just take it one day at a time.........i will be praying for you and hope you do not change your mind and decide to stay with him.
2006-11-06 08:53:03 · answer #7 · answered by classy&sassy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You pack a bag, pick it up and walk out the door. You don't let him sweet talk you into coming back. You do what you need to do to get your life started. Be strong. Walk away. 26 is not too old to begin!
2006-11-06 08:40:01 · answer #8 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do it. Get out ASAP Thank God there is no children involve. Move out and even if he cries don't come back it will only be a scene!! Good Luck.
2006-11-06 08:42:15 · answer #9 · answered by Rainbow Brite 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
pack your bags and leave. Don't let him talk you back in. 26 is still young and you have a good chance to get with someone respectful. Don't waste your life with an idiot.
2006-11-06 08:43:15 · answer #10 · answered by Amba 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋