Man trouble, I don't know what to do! Pleeeeeeeeeease help!?

Question

I've been with my man for a year and we both agree what we have is special etc, I've never felt this way about someone before. I knew I would be moving away with work this summer and we agreed to see how it goes. When we visit each other it's perfect and we really enjoy each others company, but when we're apart I feel as though I'm the one trying to make it work and he rarely calls unless I ask him to etc, I know he has a lot on and he always has because of work but I don't know how to talk to him about the fact that I feel completely separate to the rest of his life. I don't want to bring it up when I see him because I'm concerned it'll ruin the atmosphere, but I feel I should speak to him in person? Please give me some advice? I know we can sort it out, but how!

Answer 1

you didn't say how long you will be separated. long distance relationships are difficult to maintain because you are not part of each others everyday lives. times together are special in the same way as vacation romances are special. a relationship that will work involves dealing with everyday issues and problem solving so that both people feel that they are heard and understood. he has to feel that your relationship is important and be willing to work at it. if the only one who cares about the relationship is you, you are being cheated. you deserve to be with someone who makes you feel important and cared about. if you are afraid to discuss your feelings with him you will never know if he is the right man for you. don't cheat him out of knowing who you are and what you need. If he can't meet your needs you need to move on.

Answer 2

First of all, STOP BEING TIMID! Just say "Hey, This is how I've been feeling lately." Us guys are STUPID sometimes....You need to tell us every now and then whats going on...

If your not comfortable talking about it around him for fear of "ruining the atmosphere" what sort of relationship do you have?

Ask yourself a few questions.... #1. Are you happy? Simple question, In no, Time to change something.
#2. Is he putting as much into the relationship as you? Or are you doing all the "work". If no, Kinda makes you wonder if you're really a part of his life, or just the "fun" on the weekend?

Women put so much time and trouble into pleasing just one man that when things don't turn out they just collapse on themselves and CRY CRY CRY. You're only going to live once, Make yourself happy.....Then make others happy

Answer 3

A great relationship is based on trust, communication and ultimate friendship. Your relationship sound strong, but in order to keep the momentum going, you need to discuss your issues with him, delicately, maybe over a nice romantic dinner. This is not to turn into an argument, it must be merely a discussion that will ultimately resolve your dilemma. It is possible that he is not happy that you have taken this distant job, but he simply accepted it because of the rerlationship you have and because he wants the best for you. Communication is the essence here... otherwise, your relationship may begin to deteriorate. Good luck sweetie.

Answer 4

I think he was devastated by your movement but is afraid to say so least you might think he is jealous about your job or you might label him as not supporting your profession.
I don't want to be pessimistic, but maybe as soon as you moved he couldn't stand it such that he immediately jumped into another relationship. On the optimistic side, I think you need to talk because for a relationship to work, both partners need to pull together rather than for everything to be left to one person. Tread carefully as he will try by all means try to point at you as the initiator of this separation which has led to your misery. If he doesn't support your professional move, then I don't think he is worthy the worry you seem to be going through.

Answer 5

Look, you're only going to remain miserable until you talk about it with him! Would you rather be happy around him but be dying inside or go ahead and get everything out in the air and talk about it?

You need to tell him how you feel. It could definitely bring you two closer. He could be feeling the same way...you never know.

Never bottle things up! Always talk about how you feel.

Answer 6

You, a woman, have a brain which is set up to multi-task. (From pre-historic times, gather nuts, watch out for predators, feed baby etc. all at once.) So, you can do your job, think what to cook for dinner, and wonder what Handsome is up to, all at the same time.

Your man has a different brain. It is wired to concentrate on one thing only, and to focus entirely on that thing. (Catch that wild boar!) So, if he's working, it's work. Out with his mates, it's whose round it is. At home, it's footballl on the TV, unless it's the adverts in which case he'll be looking at the bird/car/razor in the adverts. If thereisn't one, his mind might wander and he'll think "Wonder what gorgeous is up to?" And he'll get up and ring you.

Do you see the difficulty? He doesn't ring you, only because other things get in the way. So, ring him! He'll be pleased to hear from you. Just make sure it's during the adverts.

Answer 7

I'm sorry to say this, but, seems to me that he's not that `into' you; and is certainly not sharing life WITH you. The fact that you question shows that he's not even bothering to "keep you in the loop" is very worrying, and perhaps it's time to face facts about this man. He's coming along and enjoying ... your affections and then poof............ he's outta there and no doubt he's not exactly letting you in on what's happening on his side.
I think you need to re-think exactly what you need and want, in a REAL relationship.
Good luck.

Answer 8

you have to talk to him otherwise he will never no how ya feel. I have been in a long distance relationship and they are not easy but you have to ask yourself why does he not phone or text ? if he really liked you he would i mean how long does it take to send a text or a quick call not long but definatley tell him how ya feeling otherwise you will just feel worse about the whole thing hope it goes well

Answer 9

I dont think he's trying to make you seperate from him. I think hes just trying to keep himself busy so he doesnt just miss you all the time and feel sad. But if you do feel that way, best thing is to let him know in person how you feel so maybe he can change that for you.

Answer 10

if you can't communicate your feelings and worries then this relationship is going no where, stop pussyfooting around him and say how you feel, if he dumps you then he wasn't Mr Right, deal with it and move on if ness, his atmosphere is always going to be good if you make everything nice when you see each other, he probably enjoys sharing the bed with you, who does he share his bed with if you are not around?? you need to talk.