I have read many questions posted here and have my own life experience. This sems so easy to me. Give your husband what he needs so he is not tempted to find it elsewhere.
Yes of course you as a husband should be romantic, caring and attentive to her needs.
Many women though just have a block when it comes to this one. The excuse of "I am tired" "he should just do without" "it's not that important".
Do you know how many married men see prodtitutes for the one sex act their wives will not perform? (almost took down a president)
Ladies, discount this all you wish but do not later some back here asking the question:
Why did he cheat on me.
As for me, after years of going through this perhaps I will stray.
2006-11-06 08:19:03 · 29 answers · asked by onlineseeker 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Point of clarification:
When we dated she had a healthy drive. We spoke on this subject and agreed it was important.
Guess what? She changed. She is a great mom but not much of a lover anymore. She knows she has changed. I have never cheated on her. 15 years of marraige and here I still am. She is affored a stay at home mom lifestyle in a million dollar house.
Vacations twice per year anywhere she desires. Other than this issue we are very good together. This is a huge issue though.
If she told me it was important to her that I do thing xy or z for her I would do it and from time to time ask her if she was happy with what I was doing.
It really is this one thing we have great communication and disagree on this one issue. If I push it too hard our marrage could be at risk and I need to be there to raise my kids. Once they are out of the house I will be much more firm.
2006-11-06 08:36:17 · update #1
women haven't learned that married sex isn't about the man relieving himself. For men, it's how they connect, show emotions, and experience love. It means the wife loves them, accepts them and bonds with them. Instead of feeling pleased that their man still desires them, despite how they might look or behave, they get angry at him for "expecting" anything.
Sad how the feministas have destroyed married love.
2006-11-06 08:23:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
Using sex is plain wrong. Ask any expert and they will agree....period. I know, my wife is a Clinical Psychologist - yes, a PhD who has a very thriving practice. Go ahead and post the question on another site with people who are more knowledgeable and they will tell you. Like another person said, not being physical because of emotional or other issues is different, but if what you describe is true, it is very manipulative of her and very unfair to you. I can see you are somewhat religious because of what you posted and probably believe that you should stay together no matter what, but I must say, this would be headed in the direction of a deal breaker. It’s just insensitive, nasty, and weird – it really shows she has no concept of how to be in a relationship. Besides, isn’t she attracted to you? She can so easily willy nilly say OK – no sex forever until you succumb to what I want for dinner. Why doesn’t she want to please you? Why does she want to hurt you so bad? Just terrible. I wouldn’t just pack up and go of course, but I would express those feelings and thoughts and would want to find out why she didn’t want to have sex with me. It doesn’t feel good to not be wanted and have to beg for it all the time. I’m sure you gave up long ago. Sorry, I’m sure you like some of her other qualities but she definitely lacks some very basic insight into how to have a good and normal relationship. I feel for you dude – it’s completely ridiculous and not anything I would want to stand. I would have to tell her that with all due respect, I am a guy – it’s nothing personal but I need some physical stimulation and since you are unwilling to give, I need to get it elsewhere – nothing personal. Best of luck bro.
2016-05-22 05:02:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the same goes for men. There are men out there who do not realize how important sex is to their wives...
Example,
I know of a man wants to cuddle with his wife when he wants sex..
Then there is no foreplay involved, he just fingers her the same way every time, shoves it in, gets his and he's out. He doesn't care about keeping HER interest and only wants to get off. She is now getting the kissing and playing that she doesn't get from her man elsewhere. If he found out, he'd be hurt, but she has told him over and over what he needs to do to make her happy and he doesn't do it.
Basically I think it is important for BOTH involved in a long term relationship to keep the other party involved and not just the man. Men never understand that women have different needs than they do, and when the woman gets tired of the same old sex without an orgasim, its her fault if she loses interest in the sex? Not even!
2006-11-06 08:36:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
"That one act"
Yeah I never understood what is so horrible about it. Funny how I prob got one a week before we were married and I am lucky if I get 2 a year now. And if I do she is either drunk or acting like she is some kind of saint for doing it. Look it ain't nearly as smelly or messing as guys going down on girls. Men are expected to do this all the dang time for their wives. I probably do it for her 4x per week at least (I am NOT kidding) and I enjoy it because it makes her happy. Why can't women be happy about making their husbands happy?
Look women can complain and moan all the time about what jerks men are for needing sex. But that would be like complaining that they need to breath or pee. It doesn't matter that you think we're jerks - it is something we need - PERIOD. Most women need it to although hormonal funniness screws that up sometimes.
It IS important. It is NEVER right for someone to cheat on their spouse. That doesn't mean you can't imagine how it could happen, however. If you are cut off from sex/love/affection/attention for long enough you are eventually going to either cheat or go crazy.
I have read HazelEyes posts over the last little while - whatever happened to you, I am sorry, but NORMAL people need sexual release from time to time. They are NOT jerks for needing it they are human. I don't know what has turned you off about sex to the point where you regard it as no more enjoyable than mowing the lawn or doing laundry......
2006-11-06 09:23:21 · answer #4 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It's not that all women don't understand, it's that for SOME women it's not #1 or even #10 on our list of priorities in daily life. I'm not always interested in having a penis stuck up my stuff even if "all I have to do is lie there."
Why can't men understand how sex isn't always THAT important to their wives??? To women sex often means more than just getting off. And the reason why men go off and cheat because "their wives didn't give them what they wanted" tells you that it's more about the physical than emotional for men.
2006-11-06 09:08:32 · answer #5 · answered by october g 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Woman used to surrender herself to their Husband during the act of sex.But some Husbands they do treat them as an Animal or Children producing machine.Does she really not get tired? have you worked out how many hours she works + add caring + cooking time and dish washing time as well as preparing the bed.She is also a human being,if you force her to do so it's just a rap-but she respect her husband and never complaint to some one in family.Why you like to torched her Just for a sex with her.Why you think only man has desire and she has undesire? Time factor is most important!
2006-11-06 08:30:08 · answer #6 · answered by precede2005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand to a certain point if a women is not giving it up at all and has no real reason not to other than being tired but it still does not make it right because you are married and my husband did cheat on me right after I gave birth to our first baby because I would not have sex ONE WEEK after a painful delivery so its my belief men are nothing but inconsiderate, horney, and selfish. Alot of women do not deserve that. And if things are so bad in one's marriage than they need to attempt to talk about it and not run out after the first piece of ***.
2006-11-06 08:29:04 · answer #7 · answered by LKJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree, but it is still not an excuse to stray. I know some feel guilty having intimate relationships because they have been taught as a youth that such things are "evil" or wrong, and then in ends up being hard to get over this just because a judge or church official gave you a ceremony, and a certificate.
2006-11-06 08:24:24 · answer #8 · answered by M 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your wife sounds spoiled. It feels great for both parties not just the man, both parties need it. You sound like you are Mr. Right. I wish I had what you are giving your wife. I have 4 children and have to work 8 - 5 and still do dinner, chores, etc.... without any vacations. Good luck. One of these days she will see what she had and hopefully not too late in her life.
2006-11-06 09:25:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you know how many married men see prodtitutes for the one sex act their wives will not perform? (almost took down a president)
Are you giving her the "ONE SEX ACT" in return or is there something in her past that keeps her from wanting to do that particular thing? Talk to her, there may be a hidden reason she doesn't like to do that particular sex act!!!
2006-11-06 08:32:25 · answer #10 · answered by F.A.Q. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I personally wish my husband wanted it as much as your average guy. I am now going on 2 months without ANYTHING and things aren't looking up either. After saying that there is no way, even if it went two years without sex, that I would stray (even though I have had opportunities) I am content to satisfy myself until he's ready again. Thank god for toys!! :)
2006-11-06 09:07:14 · answer #11 · answered by Tina M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋