What are their motivations? Why are they fullfilled by giving up control? Any true insights would be appreciated. [And no I am not of the submissive persuasion.]
2006-11-06 08:10:19 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
Zero guilt. Total fun. Being forced to do somehting you love.
2006-11-06 08:12:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This answer is as varied as the number of submissives. I suppose that to reduce it to a common denominator, a submissive is looking to surrender some aspect of their being to another. What that aspect is and to what extent depends on the particular individual.
For example, a submissive might be willing to surrender their control over what clothes they were and what foods they eat, hoping that the Dominant will have better choices than they would. Many submissives may be willing to surrender their time, devoting themselves to improving the happiness of their Dominant, usually through service, so that they may be fulfilled by knowing that they have done a good thing. Some submissives simply give up direct control over their sexuality, believing that what they get in return would be more powerful than what they might have in a vanilla relationship.
Of course, there are those that aren't truly submissives but are actually bottoms. The difference being that a bottom isn't really surrendering anything, but hope to barter from a stance of equality. There's nothing inherently wrong with this; they're simply not submissive and should not be confused with one. A real submissive pretty much gives up bartering and instead offers some part of themselves as a gift.
Of course, submissives have wants and needs. That's simply part of being human, and a relationship that does not meet those needs will be hollow for them. This implies that the Dominant has expectations to meet them to a satisfactory extent. However, it's not out of a sense of quid pro quo, but out of a Dominant's care for their submissive. That the relationship is based on this dynamic is a strength that both the Dominant and submissive finds enhances the relationship.
Hope that helps.
2006-11-07 21:35:29 · answer #2 · answered by Ѕємι~Мαđ ŠçїєŋŧιѕТ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For intro information on BDSM, I usually recommend Wiseman's SM 101 and Miller/Devon, _Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns_....of those, _Roses_ probably has more info on the mental dynamics behind submissiveness, although more from a female sub perspective.
You might find Claudia Varrin a useful source---personally, I feel she's a bit over-rated. Consider also checking out some of the books put out by Greenery Press (too many titles to list here, but I'll point quickly to Easton/Liszt (Hardy), which is a major and reputable BDSM publisher.
Hope this helps.
2006-11-06 16:54:08 · answer #3 · answered by samiracat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are lots of reasons.
Shy guys like the girl to take control. They would rather the girl take any amount of control than have to make a move themselves.
Some guys have a low self image, and can't see why any girl would want them, but they want a girl, so they welcome any contact from a girl, even if it's abuse. They would do anything just to be allowed to kiss the girl's feet!
Some guys have powerful jobs, and are in control at work, and like the release of giving up control in their sex lives. It's too much effort for them to be in control all the time.
Many guys get a buzz from being smothered, so being smothered by a lady's bottom, breasts, etc, gives them that buzz.
Some guys are pleased to be chosen by a beautiful girl, even if she is whipping them.
I guess it mainly comes down to guys wanting some form of sexual contact with a girl, and being willing to put up with a lot of abuse to get it.
There are also probably the real masochists who just enjoy pain, but I think they are the minority of submissive men.
2006-11-06 16:56:47 · answer #4 · answered by Easy T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Serving her every need.
Pleasuring her just for the sake of pleasuring her and knowing you might not receive anything in return.
Being dominated and controlled by her vaginia, and worshipping and adoring it as if it were the only one on earth.
The taboo--her perhaps making you kiss areas of her body that you never do--like her feet and her butt.
The adrenlyne rush of knowing if you do not please her, she may punish you--and never knowing when that punishment will come.
Giving her the power and the confidence to live out and try every extremely kinky fantasy and fetish she has ever dreamed of.
And caring enough about her to be very fulfilled just by the act of pleasuring her.
2006-11-06 16:17:56 · answer #5 · answered by John F. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋