should a baby cry it out??

Question

I am a little confused about the whole letting a baby cry it out thing? Sometimes when I put my daughter to bed(she's four months)she cries and I am not sure what to do. I know you should try not to pick up the baby after she is put to bed, but is it really ok to just ler her cry??

Answer 1

No, it is NOT OK to just let her cry.
Babies cry to communicate.
Pick her up and respond to her needs.
Even the so-called "professionals" who do advocate CIO do not suggest it prior to 6 mos.

Answer 2

"A baby under one year of age needs what it wants and wants what it needs" (Penelope Leach)

Crying is the only way she has to tell you what she needs. It IS OK to pick up a baby. However, there are other things you can do also so she doesn't equate crying with always being picked up. First try going to her bed and talking to her; then talking and patting or rubbing her back; then singing (and the others). Finally if nothing else works, pick her up.
Just like us, babies are all different and all need different soothing routines. Personally, I can't bear to let babies cry - I think of how I would feel if I were crying and no one came to see what was wrong.
Remember, sometimes babies just get little upsets or cramps and changing their position or just picking them up briefly can help.
Keep on doing what feels right and loving to you and you will be fine.

Answer 3

Crying it out is perfectly fine if a baby is at least 6 months old. Before hand go ahead and pick up your baby when she cries. She needs to be comforted and is unable to self soothe. Good luck.

Answer 4

With our daughter, who is now 2,we always picked her up as soon as she cried out and that led to some problems. With my four month old son we wait a few minutes and see. If he starts to calm himself down then we leave him, but often at that age they are crying because they are hungry or for some other issue that needs parental attention, so if he is struggling to calm himself down or if he goes from kind of whining to out and out crying we pick him up and see what we can do to help him. Of course if it is crying and not just fussiness and whining, we pick him up right away.

Answer 5

No. Absolutely not - and I don't care who says its ok. It just isn't!

I have three grown kids, and they were all babies who almost never cried unless they were sick. The reason for that is that I did not allow them to get so upset they'd cry. If you respond quickly when they start to fuss they learn that you respond to their needs. My son was four-months old when I could just go by his room and say, "I'm coming", and he would know he didn't have to fuss. He learned that I was on my way to get his bottle and I'd be back. My point is that if you respond quickly they learn you will respond and learn someone is working on their problem, which leads to them feeling less upset.

With a baby four months old don't worry about who says what should be the rules about not picking her up after she's been put to bed. A baby this young has you as her world, and she needs to learn - above all else - that her "world" is a world where her needs are met, her discomforts are eased, and her fears are calmed. She is crying because she has some problem or discomfort or even is too "frazzled". She is too young to be trying to manipulate you.

What you shouldn't do is pick her up, bring her out to the living room, and start playing peek-a-boo with her. That doesn't take her in the direction of sleep. What you should do is consider all the things that could be the cause of her crying, address them all, and - if she's not too cold or still hungry or having gas and may just be too frazzled to sleep - walk calmly with her, maybe sing a low and slow song in a monotonous way, stroke the back of her head and see if she'll get calmer. Rocking is good, too, but I always found the best and nicest thing that works for babies is to hold them nice and securely and walk (or rock on your feet in one place in the bedroom) and sing a little and stroke their head.

A baby this young doesn't want much and may not even know what it is she wants. She only knows she's uncomfortable for some reason. Between birth and about three years old babies/toddler form synapses in their brain that are related not only to their intelligence and socialization but to their immune system and response to stress as well. If her brain gets too stressed out it will learn to trigger off higher levels of cortisol, which will then make a blueprint for her response throughout her life. Babies who are not calmed and secure will respond to minor stresses more dramatically than they should later in their lives.

Also, on a more immediate level, babies start out fussing, escalate to crying, and - if not calmed down in some way - end up screaming to the point of almost being hysterical. Obviously, that's not a good thing because aside from possible long term effects it makes it far less likely you'll be able to calm her down.

Don't be confused. Research what I've said more if you think I may not know what I'm talking about. Don't let your baby cry. Not only is not good, but it is far more potentially damaging than most people who don't understand how brains develop realize.

I don't know if you do this, but try making sure you get the "mood" for sleeping set up an hour and a half or so before you plan to put her in to sleep. Nobody who feels wide awake and ready to keep going wants to be in a bed and expected to sleep.

Babies have few needs at this age - to be fed, kept warm, made to feel secure and loved, and comforted when something is bothering them. Do whatever it takes to meet those needs of your baby, and she will learn that she is not left alone to deal with things herself and learn that she can count on you. You will build that foundation, and it will serve you and her well whether that's making her more easy to deal with when she's two or sixteen.

Answer 6

I have a nine month old son. I keep the same bedtime routine for him. I give him a bottle and place him into his crib. I give him love and tell him goodnite. He will cry for about fifteen minutes and drift off to sleep. If he wakes through the night I will go into his room and see what the matter is. Usually he just wants fed and I put him back to bed. Most tell me not to do this. It is a hard process to start. It tore me up.

Answer 7

No, it is not okay to let her cry alone. People who talk about what you "should" do are not getting behind the eyes of the baby. The baby is crying to let you know she needs something, even if that something is just to be cuddled or reassured of your presence. Rock or nurse your baby to sleep and respond to her cries and she will be a happier baby and a happier toddler. You are laying the foundations of her learning to trust for the rest of her life. Don't worry about what you "should" do. Just listen to your heart, Mama. God gave it to you to show you how to raise your child- it won't steer you wrong.

Answer 8

NO - do not let her cry. She needs something if she is crying.

When I had my first baby, I was given valuable advice by the la leche league - if in doubt feed. A baby wont drink if they are not hungry.

See if she needs changing then offer her a feed. Try putting her on your shoulder and gently rubbing her back to see if she has trapped wind.

Lay her down again and gently pat her till she settles.

Talk to her all the time you're doing this - your voice comforts her.

Answer 9

No it's not okay. A baby can't manipulate you like some people will say. A baby needs comfort and by not letting cry it out, they will trust you to meet their needs.

Answer 10

It depends. Could there be something wrong? SIck, hungry, wet? If not, she is probably just wanting to be held. Letting them cry it out once in a while does help to keep them from getting absolutley spoiled, but babies need love and affection, too.