2006-11-06 07:51:26 · 23 answers · asked by amspeper 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have to be open minded and understand all relationships have there ups and downs. Your situation is different simply because you are married. In instances when you are in a relationship, you can just walk away. It will be very difficult to forgive and forget, but this is when it is time to sit down and talk honestly and bring out the cards to the table. You need to discuss what you once had tolerated, you will not now. You also need to discuss the trust factor is now gone and it will take some redemption before you can ever trust again. Keep in mind you should also discuss noticable actions that lead you to believe he/you were cheating and that as soon as you notice those actions again... they will not again be tolerated. When we forgive our partners for cheating once,. they assume it is okay to do it again. Simply because we failed to discuss why we felt we should give them another chance and be very specific about it. We also fail to let them know that you are not forgiving them because it is okay because it is not okay to hurt me like that. They need to understand you have a low tolerance for that and you will not tolerate it and mean it. Be very specific with your choice of words, and be very specific when you see the same traits again. Put your foot down and stick to it. When someone cheat on you it is the same as spitting in your face, you need to let them know how it hurts. We all been through it in some form of our lives. Matter of fact I hurt for my daughter in law when my son cheated on her. I cried with her, I hurt with her because it affects everyone involved not only the person he/she cheated on.
I wish you the best through this and if you have any more questions please by all means ask
Sassy
2006-11-06 08:00:14 · answer #1 · answered by Sassy Shut Your Mouth 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes, yes. The key is to REGAIN THE TRUST. This is not easy. If the cheating spouse is genuinely remorseful and agrees to go to marriage counseling with you, you have a chance to save the marriage. Sometimes, though, the trust never returns. Without trust, the marriage will fail. If you have kids, it's definitely worth trying to save it, though.
2006-11-06 07:55:26 · answer #2 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on the situation. I would have always said once a cheat always a cheat but after a really close friend of mine disclosed to me that she had a one night stand it made me re-evaluate my thinking....If it were a one night stand and only for sex, then I would try to repair my marriage....If it were a long term emotional affair then I would probably cut my losses and leave. The thought of my husband being "intimate" with another woman and sharing things with her that he should only be sharing with me would really hurt me.
2006-11-06 08:47:45 · answer #3 · answered by ladysteelersince1976 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on the circumstances, but I woul have a problem to forgive that. It depends if it was done beause the relationship have had some serious problems, many women don't realise that the man isn't happy and tries another woman to find someone better matching him, than I don't think it is solvable(like my husbands last marriage broke down and he started seeing me and than they split up and now both of them are in happy new relationships) but if it was only one-off and you guys are generally happy than give it a go, but I know from my own experience that it is hard to trust again.
Listen to your heart and do what it tells you
Everyone told me to leave my husband when he was still married, but I trusted my instincts and we worked very well.
Its all up to you, and your mentality.
Hope you solve it the best for you
2006-11-06 07:59:39 · answer #4 · answered by aga m 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you can not save a marriage when you cheat, why would you want to stay in a marriage when all you think about is having someone else in your bed.
2006-11-06 08:01:55 · answer #5 · answered by do you wanna 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I believe yes! What I suggest and worked 100% for me is going to a Christian church together. We received lots of prayer. Prayer is very powerful. My marriage has been restored better than ever. There has been true repentance and true forgiveness. Not once has it been thrown back into my face. Our marriage is being built upon the ROCK which is Jesus by prayer & reading His Word.
2006-11-06 10:40:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It can. But it takes a long time and a lot of work. Better not to cheat in the first place.
2006-11-06 07:54:08 · answer #7 · answered by sheeny 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Hell no, because once a cheater, always a cheater! Besides, if someone cheats on you during your marriage, its not worth saving because that person will do it again-no matter what happens!
2006-11-06 07:53:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it can, and believe it or not, a marriage can be better than before the cheating. It takes work and trust wont come easily, the spouse has to earn every bit of it and it takes time, but it most certainly can be done.
2006-11-06 07:54:13 · answer #9 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I don't think so. If you are caught in the act, the other will never forget. I know I wouldn't, so why go through the agony and drama, when it's over. If it's me, I'm moving on, leaving the past behind and enjoying the rest of my life
2006-11-06 07:59:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋