When should I start worrying about spoiling my son?

Question

He's only 5 weeks old but some of my friends are saying that I'm already spoiling him. Considering the only things he really wants right now are food, to be clean, and to be held, how can I be spoiling him if I hold him?

Answer 1

Don't listen to your friends..do what comes naturally. I have a diploma in Child Psychology and a helathy happy 2 year old..

Bottom line is you cannot spoil a baby. Actually research shows the opposite..babies who are comforted when they need it and shown affection on demand from their parents learn to trust the world quicker and cry less later on as well as being later physically bigger/healthier than their less attented to counterparts..

Follow your son's needs and respond. The more you do this the better it will be for his psyche long term and the more you will be setting him to be a happy/well adjusted individual later.

If your friends persist, look online for the names of the numerous studies which conclusively show that a child who attaches sucessfully and is given love (the bottom line) thrives..

You are a good mother and continue to be so. You are focusing on his needs and not your own.. cuddle him all you can - it will make him a much more content toddler and you will reap your rewards when their children are having numerous tantrums, lack concentration and are a handful when they are toddlers.

Good luck and do not listen to your pals (sorry to keep saying it but I got told the same and time has shown I was right to both follow what I learned during my diploma and what came naturally..)

Answer 2

You CAN NOT spoil a baby. Babies have needs, they are not sophisticated enough to have wants or to know how to manipulate you.

Hold your baby all you want. (Although if your baby likes to be held A LOT you may want to consider a carrier. I like wraps and asian baby carriers as they spread the weight over both shoulders.)

You are absolutely right that he needs to be held. It's a need just like hunger or cold. You wouldn't deny your baby another blanket if he was cold would you? How can you deny his wanting to be held? Human babies like primate babies are meant to be with their moms at all times. If mom puts them down a predator could kill them, so they cry to let you know what you are doing is wrong. Just like a babies cry can cause you to lactate, that is Mother Nature's way of making sure you do what is needed.

Your baby also need to know that you will respond to his needs. This builds trust.

Hold your baby all you want and when your friends/family say he is spoiled. Just say "Yes terribly and we wouldn't have it any other way"

In the end do what is right for you, your baby, your partener and other kids (if you have a partener or other kids) and don't worry what anyone or any book says. (Now if something isn't working, then by all means change it)

A long time from now you will have to worry about discipline, but even then it is more about preventing your toddler from misbehaving then expecting them to behave. First they must learn consequences (and if your baby is still poking himself in the eye or hitting his head he hasn't figured that out get) then he has to learn self-control (which can take a long time). That doesn't mean you can't say "No", but you shouldn't punish them for something they couldn't help.

But all this is a long way off. For now him, love him, snuggle him, spoil him and enjoy it while it lasts. They grow up too fast.

Answer 3

my son is 5 weeks and my dad thinks if i hold him all the time I will spoil him but he is a baby and needs the comfort. I would at the very least wait until he is 6 months when you can teach him no.

Answer 4

u r not spoiling your baby. u r showing your baby love. what baby doesn't want to be held close. the only way to spoil him is by letting him get away with everything,not setting limits and giving him everything he asks for and doesn't ask for. so for now u don't have to worry about all that. show your son all the love u want.

Answer 5

I have read MANY times that you can never spoil a baby under 6 months old. They need to know the world is safe when they are that young. When he turns 6 months, thats when you can start backing off a little.

Answer 6

You CAN NOT spoil a baby!
Being held is a true NEED at this age.
Ignore your friends. Something that is "spoiled" is something that has been left on the shelf to rot.
You are paying attention to your child and meeting his needs. You are doing the right thing. An infant can't manipulate you! If he crys, it is to communicate.

Answer 7

I'm a certified Parent Educator. Despite what your friends think, you can't spoil a newborn. You need to respond to your child in a timely fashion, but remember, it is okay for a baby to cry sometimes. As long as you have checked the basics (food, diaper, nap, overstimulation), you are doing fine. Continue to cuddle your child as much as you like. Actually, affection is key in the development of secure attachment and self confidence later. Enjoy, and remember, he's your baby - you know him better than your friends!

Answer 8

spoiling: to break heavily : destroy b: to impair the familiar or effect of 4 a: to impair the disposition or character of via overindulgence or intense compliment b: to pamper excessively Do you extremely think of which you will possibly be able to try this via giving your baby the affection and touch he craves? First, i might verify inclusive of your pediatrician. He ought to be tormented by a scientific difficulty this is inflicting fussiness. Reflux is one substantial reason of fussiness in toddlers. Being in a vertical place enables the refulx and the meds for it are high-quality. Dr. Sears has a great website which i might reccomend for top desires toddlers. My first daughter replaced into the comparable way yet now she is a thriving 6 twelve months previous. IMO, you could no longer destroy a baby. some toddlers are under pressure out in any different case than others and extra needy. My 2d replaced into an exceedingly elementary infant who might flow to sleep everywhere. My first had to be held continuously or she might scream bloody homicide. i might reccomend looking a sling this is gentle for you. that way, he gets the closeness he desires and you could actually get issues completed. As a final, save in mind that if he's crying, he's telling you something. in case you hear to him, your bond would be more desirable. Letting him cry it out isn't somthing that would desire to be completed to assuage somebody who isn't in track inclusive of your infant. hear on your instincts and bear in mind, that this time will end. My hands sense empty now that they are older. :-( treasure this time.

Answer 9

It's not spoiling him to hold him alot at this age. He needs to feel secure and if holding him is what does that then you are doing a great job. It's only spoiling them if you hold them alot when they are able to crawl or walk--not when they're helpless little newborns.

Answer 10

Babies under a year of age can not be spoiled.