me and my boyfriend hav been together for almost 4 years now.on and off!! i love him and he loves me to.. BUT he is really sarcastic about everything and i hate that..he is very selfish.....i hate marijuna with a passion and he knows that. he hates it when im on the internet..i had a myspace account and he told me to take it out and i did.. i told him to quit smoking he said he would .. {i think that is really selfish} ...he confessed to me that he has been lying to me.. he has been smoking behind my back ,,that really bothers me ,, i dont no what to do.. i want us to b together but i hate his selfishness.... what should i do..
2006-11-06 07:47:09 · 15 answers · asked by Damaris A 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
to me it sounds like you are both scared to move on... you must move on, there is no trust and a lot of telling the other one what to do..........
2006-11-06 07:49:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, how old are you guys? There should be trust and honesty in any relationship. He will quit smoking when he is ready, and probably when you stop asking him to(Not trying to be mean, but sometimes people dont do well with being told to do something, it makes them want to do it even more) I think you need to take a break. A real break, not one where you get back together in a week, or even a month. That way you both can figure out what it is you want.
2006-11-06 15:53:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey relax i had the same problem, all you need to do is make him understand what you are worth for...leave him alone and ignore him for a while go out with girls and do things that does not involve him and have fun, maybe by your absence he will realise how much more you are! maybe you should take a short break away somewhere...in my case i started going out more with girls then i had a semester abroad and i spotted a hot guy and wrote about it to my girl friends and my boyfriend is a brother of one of the girls so he signed in to her mail and read it! he even cried and begged me to come back and now he is doing everything to get me back, he even stopped smoking, that is a miracle because for 3 years i have been begging crying asking and screaming to stop the smoking but nothing worked better than ignoring...so go have some quality time with ur girls!
2006-11-06 15:53:39 · answer #3 · answered by Luna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
explain to him that you respected his request and deleted your myspace, he should respect your wish and stop smoking, but that's a hard habit to quit- you can't just expect him to stop today, especailly if he really doesn't want to. (i understand the myspace issue, because my bf hates when i'm on there but to make him feel more secure i've offered him my password it's not like i have anything to hide, and honestly he knows i would never try to hook up with anyone from myspace.) when you address the issue at least try to compromise and ask him if he must smoke then don't do it around you or don't come around you high- when he agrees make sure you plan things to take up most of his time- he can't smoke if he's always around you- lol- if he doesn't stop then let him know that you feel he doesn't respect you, and you can not waste your time, effort, or energy on someone who doesn't respect you.
p.s.just make sure you can handle being alone if he decides his habit is more important than your love
2006-11-06 15:56:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look yourself in the Mirror and said this words...
You are friendly, kind and caring
Sensitive, loyal and understanding
Humorous, fun, secure and true
Always there... yes that's you.
Special, accepting, exciting and wise
Truthful and helpful, with honest blue eyes
Confiding, forgiving, cheerful and bright
Yes that's you... not one bit of spite.
You're one of a kind, different from others
Generous, charming, but not one that smothers
Optimistic, thoughtful, happy and game
But not just another... in the long chain.
Appreciative, warm and precious like gold
Our friendship won't tarnish or ever grow old
You'll always be there, I know that is true
I'll always be here... always for you
Now Answer your own question..
2006-11-06 15:50:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you have is the opposite of true love. There is no trust in your relationship, no respect, not much of anything to make it worth maintaining. There's apparently no reason for you to be in a relationship.
2006-11-06 15:50:26 · answer #6 · answered by My 2 Cents 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can tell u really like n dont really want 2 move on so heres wat u tell him that if he really loves u den he will quit smokeing for , tell him that u canceledur myspace for him so y cant he quit smokeing 4 u
2006-11-06 15:58:42 · answer #7 · answered by ghetto_whitegurl_4558 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he loves you so much he would do anything to make you happy cuss mine didnt and that why he left a 5 year relationship with me cuss he dont love me enough
2006-11-06 17:40:22 · answer #8 · answered by Un4getableAsianGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like your really unhappy and you and your partner should have a chat. if you dont like what he is doing and there is no compromise then maybe you should think about moving on. hope this helps
2006-11-06 15:50:27 · answer #9 · answered by crunchymonkey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it and if it doesn't work and ur still wanting the relationship talk to a couple's therapist.
2006-11-06 15:52:25 · answer #10 · answered by Alternative Chick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋