Do you think she cheated on me?

Question

Okay first off I’ll say that normally I wouldn’t ask others for advice because I usually work things out by myself but this one is hard. My wife went to Brazil for some medical volunteer work. She came back and for some reason I could tell something wasn’t right. Anyway I let it slide. I use to use her yahoo profile to play games on-line and when she got back she changed the password and came up this lame excuse why. Normally I would ask for the password because I know that she would give it to me because she had nothing to hide but this time I knew something was wrong. She told me about everything that went on in Brazil and how it changed her life and how she lost her outlook on reality while she was their... I asked her half joking if anything happened that I should know about and she got supper defensive. I found out her password to her e-mail and found out that she has been writing back and fourth to this guy she met while she was their. In these e-mails they both tell each other how much they miss and love each other. Second she has been talking to him on her cell phone and not telling me about the phone calls. She has other contact with the volunteers and tells me about the phone calls and e-mails but not about the ones with the guy. I kind of feel her about not telling me because she thinks I would freak out about it but shes wrong. Anyway in one email the guy’s response to one of her email that he likes that she had a dream about him and that he misses “sharing kisses and her soft skin. I just want to know if this is enough info to confront her or should I wait for more. Also do you people think she cheated because I am kind of in denial about the whole thing? Also should I let it slide because she was gone for two weeks in a third world village and kind of lost reality for those two weeks. She kind of cheated me before we got married but we were broken up at the time but I think she was just waiting for the chance. We have a boy and house together and been married 4 years. Sorry about the grammar and messed up writing but I need help. Also why do I feel embarrassed that she did this?

We have been having great sex since got back, until I found the e-mail about the kisses. Also she keeps telling me how much she loves me and that she loves her husband. I am 100% postive that she made this trip to Brazil he help out this just happend while she was thier.

How do I tell her and when. Once I tell her thats it,I cant live with myself if I take her back. The promblem I am having is being away from my kid. I dont want to give both of them up. The shitty thing is I know that this was just one of those things but one of those things that means its over. Could I have misunderstood the emails????

Answer 1

Stop being a doormat and tell this lying cheating bi tch to move out.

Answer 2

No, you should not "let it slide"! This woman, your WIFE, is cheating on you - do you need a rock to fall on you? BTW, "kinda cheating" is like "kinda pregnant" - it either is or it isn't. Wake up and smell the coffee!! You have more than enough to confront her with, but you must be prepared that if you do she may choose to leave. I'm so sorry for you because I have a similar situation - it's all happened online and the cell phone and my husband hasn't actually met this hussy because she's in another state - but, I live in hell on earth every single day. I don't know if it's really going to work out between us because I can't trust him and without trust, you don't have anything . Obviously, your wife has problems because this is the second time she's cheated on you. But, you have to confront her and find out what she's going to do. Unless, you're certain you can't live with the fact that she may cheat again and you go to her and tell her to get the heck out of your life and house. The reason you feel embarrassed is because you feel like you've done something wrong, you've somehow failed her because she cheated. Well, that's a lie! YOU have absolutely no reason to feel embarrassed - she's the one who should be embarrassed. All you've done is love her and be there for her! She's the one with serious problems, not you. She's the one who is making your life a living nightmare and you should confront her and in no way let her slide!

Answer 3

Sorry, to break it to you bruh but she's not in love with you anymore. I take it you haven't had ANY sex since the trip to Brazil. I can tell this is eating you up inside because you really wrote a lot. Call her out on it. Confront her about the calls, the emails, the love and kisses the guy misses. The truth is that she probably went to Brazil for the soul purpose of cheating with this man. Good luck my friend.

Answer 4

Yes. She clearly is cheating on you. It can be very hard to accept, especially when you are in love with her, as you obviously are. If she was 'messing around' on you with dudes in a foreign country, she is not only cheating on you, but also exposing you to disease. It sounds like she considers it to be a meaningless hot fling...and is something that she might be thinking about when she has sex with you. A horrible, awful thought, but probably true. My ex-fiancée from 10 years ago did the same to me, and I've never felt worse and never had anything more difficult to accept. Once out of the relationship, I was able to view all the evidence with more objectivity, and I realized just how badly I had been played for a fool.

Look at the evidence:

1. she cheated on you before marriage

2. sudden behavior change after trip

3. extensive secrecy

4. inappropriate email exchanges

If I came up to you on the street, and told you about how I had a great time sneaking off with your wife, giving her gentle kisses on her soft skin beneath a palm tree on a Brazilian beach, you'd punch me in the face. That is how strong the evidence you have is. Remember: once a cheater, always a cheater.

Good luck to you.

Answer 5

It sounds like she is still cheating on you, and while you probably think that if you don't say anything then it's not going to be out in the open, but do you really want to live like this? If you confront her about it then maybe you can fix whats wrong in your marriage and move forward, if it's not fixable then it's time to move on. I know that this is hard for anyone to deal with alone.This will always be there and it will be like the elephant in the room no one talks about. Do you think you can forgive her for what is happening? Because believe it or not it is still happening and it's not going to stop. You could always print her emails and leave them somewhere that she will see them and just subtly let her know that yes you know what is going on. Make sure that if and when you do confront her that your son is not home, just in case things get out of hand. Being embarrassed about this is normal your probably thinking what did I do to cause her to do this, just remember it's NOT YOUR FAULT! Cheating is about the risk and the exhilaration of it all and trying not to get caught, but then sometimes if a person isn't happy they leave a trail leading the spouse to proof of the affair, to make it easier for them to leave. Good Luck with everything and remember once you cheat it just gets easier.

Answer 6

you probably feel embarrassed because She is acting embarrassed about it. Also, it is something she is hiding from you, and u feel guilty for thinking negative thoughts about ur wife, who should be the ONE person u can trust!!! :(

i'm really sorry this is going on now. i don't know what u consider cheating to be, but in my opinion YES she cheated. because the message from the other man said "miss ur kisses, ur soft skin". i don't think that is appropriate, and i don't think it is right for her to continue to talk to him!! even if it was a fling, obviously she is carrying it on now! i think u should bring it up. and not in an angry way; u don't seem angry. in fact, u don't seem surprised =T...i guess what sucks the most is that u don't really trust her cuz she isn't trustworthy.. it's not your fault, it's hers. i thnk it depends on what u want in ur life and marriage: can u get past this? she sounds like she will always be looking for something and someone else different...even before u said she had been looking for a chance to cheat..... =T that's tough. why did u marry her? is it only cuz u loved her? you have to have some expectations in ur partner too: do u expect to have trust, love, committment...and she didn't show u that! so now that u married her, she hasn't changed. good luck.. if u want to stay together for the children, that's fine..but i would never be able to live a lie, and be hurt that way. it might be better for u to let her go and live her own life..she doens't sound like she's ready to be Married!!

good luck~

Answer 7

Yes I do think you have plenty of info to confront her and that you have the right to know the truth even if it will hurt you. I rather know the truth to something than live in a lie of my life. People fall in and out of love sometimes and this is something that it just happens and we dont have control over it. Sometimes we might believe we are in love with someone and then meet somebody else just to realized you were not in love with that person you believed to be in love.
As much as this could be true, you have to be prepare to what might come to you. But yes, you have the right to know.

Answer 8

I think if you don't confront her, it's just going to drive you crazy. She's obviously got something to hide, and from the sounds of it, she was and is unfaithful to you. It is not fair for her to become defensive and cause you frustration when she is the one in the wrong. Anyone would feel embarrassed because it hurts your pride and is a blow to your ego. That guy is probably not a better guy than you, but maybe he is just better for HER, which means there is someone better for you. And for the record, your grammar wasn't bad at all. :-)

Answer 9

yeah dude i would print out all her e mails call her on her bull **** and tell her to get in touch with reality before she goes losing again. the simple fact is you've found all the proof you need and you've got to come to terms with it. she has done something against you and you have to confront her about or it will eat you up inside. show her the emails so she cannot deny it. she's hiding it from you and you know it.

sorry dude you gotta bust her on this one

Answer 10

I am really sorry for your problem, as there is no doubt in my mind that your wife cheated on you. You need to seek marriage counseling, like, right now and ask yourself if it is worth it to fix this relationship, so you, her, and your boy don't end up miserable the rest of your life as opposed to a short time.

Answer 11

hi u should confront her she has clearly cheated i would be more worried about the fact that they still have contact and are telling each other how much they love each other and the fact that he said he missed kissing her and touching her skin id be really angry u seem like a really nice person have it out with her honey