How do you handle a newborn AND a toddler?

Question

I'm a pregnant Mom - my baby boy will be almost 2 yrs old when this one is born. I'm really worried about handling the 2 of them - I am pretty much alone on this one - I have no help - maybe I'll get a few frozen meals or something, but that's about it. Help! I am also worried about finances - since I quit work to stay at home - I dont see how we can handle another one! ( I was on the pill with both!! No more pill for me!)

Answer 1

You can do this!
My first two were 25 months apart and then #2 and #3 were 23 months apart.

Keep snacks that your older child can get on his own available. Fresh fruits, crackers, cut veggies, etc. Keep sippys pre-filled with water for him.

Keep a basket of books near where you sit to nurse baby so you can read to your older child while feeding baby.

Keep crayons, coloring books, paper, etc. nearby and have a little table near you for the older child.

Play with puppets with the older child while nursing/holding baby.

Sit in the floor a lot to play games, build blocks, etc. You can lean against the couch/wall/bed and hold/nurse baby while being with your older child.

Wear baby in a sling so you can meet everyone's needs easier.

Make double batches of meals late in your PG and store things in the freezer for afterwards. Arrange for LLL group, church, neighbors, friends, etc. to bring in meals. Have hubby pick up takeout or order pizza once a week.

Keep a list on your freezer door of things that need done around the house. If someone says, "how can I help?" then point them to the list.

Reprioritize. Dishes and laundry are important. What else can be left to slide for a while?

Get a shower in the a.m. before hubby leaves for work or in the evening before bed while he is home to help with kids.

Involve older sibling with baby care. He can bring you wipes, diapers, burp cloths, bibs, socks, pick out baby's outfit for the day, help rub on lotion, sing to baby while you change the diaper, etc. Helping will make him feel important and you'll know what he's up to. :-)

Breastmilk is free, so diapers are really your only expense for the first 6 months or so. Try stocking up a bit before baby is born if you have coupons or see good sales. Try putting aside a package a week if you can. (Just don't overdo it on the newborn size!) When you start solids around 6 mos, save money by making them youself. It's very simple and MUCH cheaper. (Jar of babyfood bananas is around .50 and a whole bunch of fresh bananas is around .20!)

Answer 2

I don't really know about the financial side, speak to your Doctor about this or Citizens Advice and they should give you a good impartial lot of things to read.

As far as practical things, our first was 2 1/2 when our second came along and I have to say, it went really smoothly. We involved him in everything, scans, midwife visits, touching your tummy, calling it "his" baby, baby names (though some were a bit dodgy), shopping for the new baby, the same when we took the new baby home (don't call it the "new baby" though as this might sound a bit like what's wrong with the "old baby"...though it's not like that I know). When we came home, he was itching to hold his new baby and we handed him right over to his big brother (obviously keeping an eye), helping with nappies, baths, getting dressed. Just everything, might take a bit longer but you should end up with 2 happy children and importantly a happy you. I'm not saying 2 isn't easy, but in lots of ways it very exciting seeing your first borns reactions to another baby. Get through it however you can, organisation is the key but you will be fine. Good luck.

Answer 3

It will be a challenge so plan now.. cook and freeze what you can. Get your laundry up to date etc

When the wee one arrives do not be too hard on yourself or your children. Do the best you can but do not lament about not being perfect.

The first few weeks will be the worst for all of you - new situation/lack of sleep etc but do try to ignore the housework that is not essential, keep focused on each person's point of view (ie toddler needing reassurance of your love still/sibling rivalry/needing attention/patience)..newborn (needing attention/time too)..

You are right to feel anxious but your attitude to it all could denote how the family will take it too so try to rest as much as you can - you are the one they will all rely on so this is essential.. keep a sense of humour, take one hour at a time and remember that although it will be challenging it will get so much easier with time.

As an aside - also try and network now to get some support - going it alone will make it worse. If there are any family/friends/partner etc you can engage to help more the better.

Best of luck

Answer 4

I'm a mother of a 3 yr old 1 yer old and a 2 month old and it isn't easy with help, I couldn't imagine doing it alone. First of all you should apply for financial assistance I don't know what state you are in but most offer medicaid Wic and help with electric rent and other utlities. Shop for things at yard sales( people are still having them here lol), thrift shops, and consignment shops. If you belong to a church they can help you . Now sanity wise you might feel like going crazy some days, but as time passes they will get bigger and easier to handle. Just don't worry over small things. It is okay for your kids to eat sandwhichs and frozen dinners. It is okay to for them to skip a bath every now and then, and it is okay to ask for help. This sounds strange but you will know how to handle it. You just have to prepare for your oldest to be a little jealous and clingy a first. Be sure to spend extra time with him after the baby's born. I told my sons that it was their baby and no they like to try and hold him (with help) and try to feed him and just talk to him. It will work out. Good Luck and Congrats!!

Answer 5

first of all, take a deep breath.

I had mine 16 months apart, so you should have it a mite bit easier. I say should because you are probably already dealing with the "terrible 2's", which may make it a little more difficult.

1st rule of thumb. sleep when they sleep.

2nd - if possible, let them sleep in seperate rooms so they don't wake each other up. at least until you teach the older one not to wake up the baby.

3rd. - get the older one to "help"
let him bring you the diapers and stuff and let him help you pick up things, or load the car/carriage. talk to him about "baby needs to be burped" or "baby needs his sleep" and let's not forget to let him be the "big boy"

4. let people you trust help you. actively ask for help from people you trust. burning yourself out will not help any of you. in order to enjoy the experience, you need to keep your sanity. and children need to be socialized, so anytime your child is offered the chance to go to a playgroup or with new people you trust, it's an opportunity to socialize and learn new things for your child; not to mention a break from you.

5. Don't worry about keeping the house spotless during the day. clean what's necessary after they go to bed at night.

enjoy it.!

Answer 6

I'm sure you will find a great way to handle them both! It's just a mom thing I guess! My friend has 2 kids 14 months apart so at least yours is starting to walk and getting to b a little more independent. I'm sure you will handle this in stride. Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 7

My daughter had her two kids one year apart almost to the day. As grandparents we could of screamed and sometimes I think I still tell her about it! She is doing ok and you will cope because the two year old can and will want to help and do just like mommy by taking care of her dolls and the little one. Good Luck.

Answer 8

Wait until eventually your oldest is in college and your 3 twelve months previous is in preschool. issues may be lots extra user-friendly that way. additionally only ascertain you basically have one which maintains to be in diapers (the infant) tho im particular via the time they're 3 and four they're potty knowledgeable, yet each baby is distinctive. additionally save in mind that notwithstanding in case to procure preg day after today it would nonetheless be 10 months in the previous the infant have been given there and via that element they may be very almost 4 and 5.

Answer 9

I'm doing this right now. My son is 7 months old, and my daughter is 32 months old. It's crazy at times. The baby is actually easier because he can't run away. Just know it gets easier everyday. You will be ok!

Answer 10

It's very hard but you can do I'm the mother of a 3year old and a 2month old, you have to find time for both of them and keep the older one busy.