Been together for 7 1/2 years, about three months ago she broke up with me, we just recently married early in January this year. I ask her why? Is there another man? She said no.... then she started using myspace.com i notice that she is always "messaging" an old friend of mine which he is separated from his wife and has 3 kids of his own, we have 2. Present.... found out they are together, hidden messages(email, text), phone calls, lunch, dinner, the works.
I love my wife, this is the second time we have separated. I tried leaving my wife and kids, left them for about a month, had to comeback because the "guy" started hanging around with my kids. I moved back into the house and she left to live somewhere else. She is at the house everyday, whether a couple of hours or she stays the night.
2006-11-06 07:16:34 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Can I live like this?
She ask me if she has a boyfriend and when she is not with him, we are like husband and wife in the eyes of our kids, can I live with that.
....Me and her and our kids with her having a boyfriend on the side.....
I told her if she can, then I will.
2006-11-06 07:19:39 · update #1
I cant take it where she is with him and not me. I have told her if she made a mistake leaving me that she should admit to herself and break it off with the other guy. Her response was "You think if I break it off I would come back?" My response was "That would be ideal, but no, you and I are still separated" She said "I have no reason to break it off with him, I am happy with him" but yet she has thought about the reasons why she should:
He has a wife that is asking him to be back with. etc.
He stays are their house with the kids but lives only in one room, supposedly.
He rarely communicates with my wife lately.
He see's her only for a short time.
I ask her to comeback to me and work things out.
I ask her to leave him
I ask her to move back to the house and still see him.
2006-11-06 07:32:14 · update #2
Yes this is major drama that you don't need. Neither one of you. 1st of all people stop staying together because of the time you've invested and for the kids. Those are excuses not sincerity! Even if you claim you still love each other. Because obviously you don't! Some people like drama they feel it keeps the romance alive! I don't know I'm totally opposite of that idea. The back and forth, the cheating with others risking diseases! I say make a clean break! Sit down with each other and decide on what to do with the house or apartment, work out the details as far as finances and visitation with the kids, and call it a mother frigging day! Move on while you're still young. Stay friends. I'm friends with all of my ex-boyfriends. You just have to keep it real but still be courteous with one another. Have respect for each other no matter what was done to whom. You both need to just keep it movin! Move on with your lives.
2006-11-06 07:29:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get a grip and let her go, I mean do not be so selfish both of you this believe it or not takes a toll on the kids emotionally. I mean they see you there then you are gone mom is there then she is gone, then lets add the other guy into the picture, wouldn't you be a bit confused by all this drama that you and your wife are creating around these kids. And shame on your wife for being such a loser bit*h. I mean what is she thinking about she has children
2006-11-06 15:20:40 · answer #2 · answered by melissa052572 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately these things happen.People should take more time to really get to know one another before making the commitment of marraige. Theres so much more to it than just saying (I do). I've never been married. I came close a few times. But backed out because to me making those vows are a serious thing. They are meant to be forever. Not (to have and to hold, to love and to cherrish, through richer and poorer, through sickness and health, or until I get sick of you and find someone else) Sounds to me like she's done just that. It's a shame when someone throws it all away in search of greener pastures only to soon discover that the pasture is nothing but a dirt lot. My heart goes out to you and your kids. Your wife needs to pull her head out of her butt and quit being so selfish. Your so called friend needs to have his azz kicked. Good luck.
2006-11-06 15:36:49 · answer #3 · answered by Justa_Honay_Guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what on earth are you doing?? take the kids and go! you are letting her get a way with something that is ridiculous. she obviously has no respect for you or the children. take your kids and find someone else. you dont need her, your just hurt right now and think you do, but it'll pass and you'll realize that there are alot more fish in the sea. there are alot of people that get divorces or split up and it ends up working out alirght, but you can't stay with someone that obviously doesn't want you. it will be harder on the kids in the long run. sorry!
2006-11-06 15:27:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
MARRIAGE COUSELING also your wife is a bi** she doesnt give a rats @$$ about you, your kids, or the marriage vows she agreed to. Your wife has serious issues and needs help. She isnt going to stop seeing that guy. Your gonna have to divorce her. Divorce is a bitc* but that sounds like your only option. If you do opt for divorce make sure you get full custody of the kids.
2006-11-06 15:36:38 · answer #5 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife had no respect for you or your kids.....you sound like a nice guy and you don't deserve to be treated like that. It sounds like you really love her, but if the feelings are mutual, then you need to move on and find someone who will love you and make you feel special. Tell your wife how you feel and find out where you guys stand, then you should know what to do....
2006-11-06 15:22:12 · answer #6 · answered by Cherry 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are the two of you also financially separated?
If she is spending your money then she has the best of both worlds.
I recommend to divide the bills fairly and not to be generous. Its interesting how the party ends when people have to pay their own way. It will also lessen your dependency on each other.
2006-11-06 15:56:18 · answer #7 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Buddy...give it up. Cut her loose and save yourself the aggravation. that's the way the ball bounces. Sounds to me as though you'd be better off without her.
Besides, how can you feel any love towards someone who is a liar and lives a double life?
Kick her to the curb and put it behind you.
2006-11-06 15:37:12 · answer #8 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, I hate to tell you this, but you need to cut her loose and be the best father you can be to your kids. You need to move on and let go of that twisted relationship with your wife.
2006-11-06 15:55:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey , it's only fair! you have to deside what you want to make of your marriage. for some it works , some it don't work. but if the two of you need to deside this. only you really knows what you can an canot live with. good luck
2006-11-06 15:24:07 · answer #10 · answered by ~just_jd~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋