what would you do if your husband looks at porn, you ask him not to and he says he wont and you catch him 2 more times and he goes to site where there are skimpy women and videos and he says he isnt and you know he is...and he lies about it...it upsets me that he lies to me and that he still goes there when i ask him not to and it bothers me he needs those women..and we never have sex unless i ask for it ..what to do??
2006-11-06 07:16:17 · 12 answers · asked by Liz M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He should honor any agreements or promises he makes you. If he has any integrity, he will.
I'm sure you are feeling bad that other women turn him on and he seems aloof to you. Who wouldn't? Perhaps he doesn't realize he's hurting you. Have you talked to him? If he's a good man (and I'm sure he is or you wouldn't have married him) he will care about your feelings.
On the other hand, have you tried it with him? Or have you tried getting a little wilder for him? There's a lot to try. If it doesn't work I guess you could try counseling.
Good luck!
2006-11-06 07:26:08 · answer #1 · answered by DivaDynamite 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would let it be. Looking at porn is harmless. You didn't say he was going to the nudey bars, or that he is having an affair with a real woman. Let him have his porn. You didn't say how long you have been married. Men use their eyes as their start up for sex. How about scheduling a date night? And doll it up a little bit. A nice dress or skirt. A different purfume. And blow your hair out.
And try a little something new, a massage, or different position.
And I would try to do this a least once every two weeks.
He will be asking you for more sex later.
And watching less porn.
2006-11-06 07:53:21 · answer #2 · answered by celestrialangie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would stop nagging my husband and let him make his own decisions. He is a grown man. You don't have a right to tell him not to do something unless you expect to follow his rules to the letter also. Porn is Porn, men are very visual people. What's the big deal. I could care less if my hubby looks at porn. I would also understand if he didn't want to have sex with me if I was treating him like a child and making rules for him. Are you his mother or his wife?
2006-11-06 07:58:46 · answer #3 · answered by sexyladyinak 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Most all of us look at porn. leave it be. If he's looking at 10 year old girls and boys or dogs and humans or one legged women wearing a rubber stocking shitting on leather auto seats..well..then I'd worry.
I suspect it's harmless and may be stimuli for him. As far as him not being the aggressor and you are. I don't know. All I can say about that is I wish I were that fortunate. But does it bother you that much? The ends accomplish the means in the long run.
2006-11-06 07:22:56 · answer #4 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He's cheating on you. He's watching other women do what he should only be doing with you. If you love him, get parental controls and lockdown the computer. Find him help for his addiction. That's right, it's an addiction. It will destroy your relationship...it almost did mine and that was only a week of him screwing up with it. Take charge like you would if he were sleeping with another woman...because in his head, that's exactly what he's doing. Forgive him and allow him to apologize if you feel you can, but if he doesn't see it as wrong then leave him behind. He's an adulteror and you don't need that. That's not a family, it's a lie.
2006-11-06 07:22:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
he lies because you forbid it. sounds to me like yo uare a bit too dominating. If he likes to look at these sites let him. if you are bothered by the lack of sex make a deal. tell him for every time he looks at his porn, he has to be the one to make the moves for sex between the 2 of you. you give him room to have his fantasies, and he gives you reassurances as to your beauty and his fidelity by ravishing you. to me that's a win win situation.
2006-11-06 08:05:30 · answer #6 · answered by Myrrhder 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there...done that...have the permanent scars to prove it.
It can become an addiction & is severely damaging to a relationship (distorts a mans view of women & is a fantasy world). He needs to stop...if he can't stop on his own (and this may be the truth) he needs professional help. Good luck to you girl, I know your pain :-(
2006-11-06 07:25:29 · answer #7 · answered by me 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
what's the big deal if he's looking at it or not. if he's not cheating on you, i don't think you have anything to worry about. porno is just a fantasy for most guys. maybe next time try watching it with him. it can be pretty erotic for both of you
2006-11-06 07:47:48 · answer #8 · answered by mj_jll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he is going to anyway , no matter how many promise's he makes to you. so i would just share in it with him. an he has to look at the gorious naked men as well. then he may deside that what he is doing , is not so right after all. but then-again , it may be something you both could like an add to your marriage.
2006-11-06 07:27:45 · answer #9 · answered by ~just_jd~ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there's nothing really wrong with watching porn movies....a guy friend of mine considers porns as how-to videos......unless of course he'd force you to do what's being shown on the film....confront him about it; like what is it for him about porn that he likes about and had to lie to you just to see one.....maybe he's just taking notes to be better in bed with you....who knows?
2006-11-06 07:26:36 · answer #10 · answered by ekim 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋