I've never had an orgasm. Tips?

Question

I've slept with 3 people. The first one loved going down there and did it many times, for a long while each time, but even though it felt good I always felt like I knew I wasn't going to however long it went on for. I touch myself on my own sometimes but usually get turned off really easily and lose interest (even if I'm looking at porn or something)... I don't know if it's to do with the fact I find it hard to relax sometimes or what... anyone have any tips/advice/recommendations maybe?!

Answer 1

My best advice would be that you should try having an orgasm on your own first. When you are with a man, you might become so concerned about the orgasm-matter, that you will not be able to relax and give in to the pleasurable feelings.
In order to enjoy masturbating, and getting an orgasm, it is first and foremost important that you think it is OK to masturbate! There is noting wrong or sinful about getting to know one's body - and thereby becoming a better sex-partner.
Make sure, you have all the time, you'll need without disturbances. Pay attention to the setting; perhaps you'll enjoy a long bath first, put on your favourite lotion, your favourite underwear or maybe light a few candles.
Spend some time finding a good place to be at - the bed would be an obvious choice. Try touching yourself in different ways, what feels good, what doesn't? Take it slow and enjoy your time with yourself, getting to know yourself. Perhaps you won't achieve an orgasm the first time, you try; but you'll definitely learn something about how you like to be touched.
Remember, the main goal is to become comfortable with your own body and your own sexuality, this will heighten your chances of achieving an orgasm. On the same note, I'd hold back on porn, dildos etc. until you are certain what you like, until then they might only serve as distracters.
Best of luck!

Answer 2

Try relaxing. Be more confident in your own skin. When you're having sex, put your all into it and stop automatically thinking your not going to have an orgasm. Like the other person said, be aware of how your partner is touching you and how you're touching him. (try watching porn with your partner, it may turn you on more) This may not be good advice but it you have problems relaxing try having a drink. Worked for many people I know. LOL I'm guessing that you think touching yourself is somewhat wrong. Hence the reason you get turned off. Masturbating is completely natural in both men and women so you shouldn't feel like you're doing anything wrong. Hope this helps. GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 3

As an academic, I once shared an office for four years with a psychologist. We were best buddies, and he had a very successful private practice as well as teaching. He often told me that a substantial number of his female patients sought his help because of the inability to reach climax. He said that the majority of them did not masturbate and didn't want to do it even therapeutically. Clearly a negative sense about sex.

The women I have known who really enjoyed copulations and could reach orgasm from almost any stimulation, would tell you that they started masturbating before they began their period. Which is the cause and which is the affect I doan no, but there is sure a connection between self-stimulation and organism.

By the way, it occasionally happens that a guy will suffer from the same problem.

Answer 4

There a small amount of women who just can't have an orgasm, but it is unusual. You mention that you find it hard to relax, that could be part of your problem. If you are concentrating only on having an orgasm, then chances are it won't happen.
Most women who have have difficulty reaching orgasm with a partner are able to while masturbating. Since you can't or won't masturbate, ask your partner to help out with toys. Some women are only able to climax with both clitoral and vaginal stimulation simultaneously. You can also try rubbing your own clitoris while have sex with your partner or try different positions, such as woman on top, where you naturally get clitoral stimulation while having sex.

Answer 5

Relaxing is definately the first thing you need to do. You might think you are relaxed sometimes, but you might not be. Make sure your legs are completely relaxed, in whatever position they may be in. That was my problem for years, and each time that it's with a different person, it may take more time to completely relax. After that, make sure you are completely comfortable with the person you are with. Personally, I had a "fear" of anyone seeing me nude, and that caused many years of not-so-great sexual experiences. You may still enjoy it, but until you are 100% relaxed and comfortable, orgasm may not come. (No pun intended.)

Answer 6

I had that problem with my fiance the first time we did it....i just wanted to have an orgasm becuz i didn't really have one b4....its like since i wasn't relaxed my mind wasn't in the mood.....so what u have to do is let him get u so hot and bothered and don't do it just yet....let him get u really really horny...then don't do it laying on a bed....i would definitely suggest doing it standing up....i got my first one in the shower......major clitorial stimulation....if it doesn't work then try being on top.....i hope everything works out for u

Answer 7

relax, enjoy and dont hold back.
being on top or getting it from behind always does it for me. If you feel it coming on, tell your partner not to stop, to go harder, etc....that may help

Answer 8

pay attention to what your partner is doing and think about the way that their touching your and the way that your touching them, it'll be more intamite and you'll be more in the mood and aroused this way.

Answer 9

Did you try talking to your doctor about this. Well for me i find i *** when i ride my husband. Sorry thats all i have.

Answer 10

I wish you many GREAT climaxes.