fat middle aged man desire?

Question

Both my husband and me are very good looking couple in our twenties; my husband has a body of steel. Anyway, we had a party in our house and I was drunk and did a strange thing. I was laughing and joking with my next door neighbour, a guy in his mid fifties and very overweight however is redeeming feature is contagious humour.

His humour sometimes involves sexual innuendo and it is very amusing, anyway to cut to the chase he jokingly put his hand on my leg and I laughed and told him not top stop, he didn’t’! We were in the kitchen alone and I just seem to let him, it was sort of gross but within moments of being fingered I had the most intense orgasm.

For about a week after the event I was masturbating continually about this. It was both repulsive and exciting. Without going into more unnecessary details I have been shagging this fat guy frequently for the past month. It isn’t love and my husband doesn’t suspect, for the obvious reason that he wouldn’t think it possible that I would even consider this man attractive. The thing is I don’t! Quite the opposite.

I have had more orgasms with this guy in short space of time than ever with my very attractive husband. What the hell is wrong with me? It’s almost like a drug I keep telling my-self one more time and its finished? Yet I keep going back for more. Please tell me I am not that strange

I don’t even feel is if I am cheating, I am basically using this guy as a vibrator and he knows it. I am not looking to redeem or excuse myself for my behaviour; it is just the irrationality of it that’s got me flustered. Why do I find this so stimulating? Is it the grossness of it? I know he is human being but he is so fat I feel depraved. He is six feet plus and must be at least 20 stone and I am only 5 feet and skinny, he picks me up as if I was a rag doll and I feel so helpless. At first it I only gave him oral sex and he used his finger on me but eventually you want more, he doesn’t even have that big a cock and its uncut and slightly smelly, but I still seem to get a weird sexual gratification from doing oral with him.

There is no point of going into all the disgusting things that I have now done with him, writing them down only makes the situation worse.

It makes no sense, my husband although not tall has a fantastic physic, and most women would kill to get at him. But me, I seem to get my thrill easier from a fat middle aged man, why? And will I grow out of it? And am I the only one like this?
And I can’t talk to my friends about.
Yours completely irrational.

Answer 1

Wow, that is quite a story there. I am fascinated yet repulsed. Much like yourself, apparently.

There is something the French call "nostalgie pour la boue." It means "longing for the mud." The compulsion that comes over people to immerse themselves in self-degredation. Your basic wallow, as it were. It can be quite a powerful sensation. And you have found the perfect piggie to indulge in it with.

But sometimes mud turns out to be quicksand. Clearly you have some issues with your husband you need to work out. I don't have any advice for you there, but you need to either come clean (so to speak) or divorce him or leave your largish lover, your rotund Romeo, your portly paramour, your corpulent Casanova (you get the idea) and let him become a memory in your mind's sty and get on with your married life.

Good luck. Sounds like you'll need it.

Answer 2

It sounds like you may have some hidden desire to be dominated by this oversized man. You also seem turned on by the fact that he is not clean.
For a time I dated a woman who seems like she may have been the sister to your lover. Eventually I met someone else and got over her.
Your only problem is that you are married. You don't if you love your husband. Possibly you don't know if you do.
There seems to be some problem with how you relate to your husbands physical appearance. You say you are a good looking couple but nothing of how your husband treats you.
Is hung up on his own appearance?
I suggest you see a consuler alone and possibly later with your husband if you wish to save your marriage.
Breaking off with your neighbor will do no good as you will soon find another to satisfy your needs. Good Luck and don't give up.
Feel free to email.

Answer 3

I'm a wife and I always tell my gfs that they NEED to stay in shape. Of course,so hubby can be attracted but also because a man will eventually grow arrogant, demanding, and overwhelming. She NEEDS to have her figure so that she can ditch him when it all falls apart. If she is 100 pounds overweight, she is going to have a hard time replacing him. My fat friend Becca lives in a dream world that she can gain and gain and her hubby will never cheat or turn on her. I keep warning her that she's going to regret that. The sooner a woman realizes that she needs to stay trim and in shape to replace the arrogant jerk quicker, the better off she will be. If she doesn't understand this, she's begging for heartache.

Answer 4

WOW! Everybody has different fetishes that gets them off like no other. Unfortunately for you, and fortunately for your neighbor, your fetish is middle aged fat men. I have some strange one's myself, as do most people, so do not feel ashamed.

Sounds like you may need a talk with one of Freud's children though. I would recommend a woman right out of med school. She can help you deal with your 'desires' or at least come to terms with them so you can accept that they are a part of you.

Answer 5

For some reason, I too have fantasized about this as well, but never acted on it. You are not the only one. Part of it is pride (you know he's getting a good deal scoring with you!) and part of it is you get to be dirty. It's like guys who sleep with a trashy whore. They know she's dirty, but sometimes dirty feels so good.
I can't support infidelity, and don't think your hubby would either. He can never know. Eventually, you will grow out of it or get caught. I think you should end it now while you are ahead.

Answer 6

Its just proof that body type and shape are not all there is to physical and mental attraction. I have been around for 43 years. Some of the best lovers I have had were chunky, average looking women. And, some of the worst I have had were the arm candy variety.

Answer 7

I think you and your husband have serious issues to work out. You are obviously unhappy with your lot in life even if it is subconsiously. I think you and your husband need to figure out what it is that you need in order to feel happy with him. You need to get couples counseling NOW.

Although truth be told you obviously care very little about your husband's feelings, so maybe what you really need is a divorce.

Answer 8

Seems like you are describing your husband only by his great looks, steel body, fantastic physics, etc. Even though that may look good to your neighbor, in the long run you need more than that. Maybe your husband is too polite and "gentle" while you like more "wild," "gross" type of relationship. Well, even though he is just your vibrator, that is still definitely cheating. I would not let my lady cheat even to a vibrator, especially a vibrator that can tell jokes!

Answer 9

Serious answer here. You have issues. I suggest you seek counseling immediately and be prepared for 3-5 years of hell on earth when your husband becomes aware of this...and he likely will. And you are cheating, no other name can be put on this. I wish you loads of luck, you are going to need it.

Answer 10

I'm eating like crazy and trying to put on weight and look old as fast as i can. I've bought the house to your left.......take a rain check?