dealing with my single life?

Question

all right. i've come to accept that it may never happen.

so now, what I do is, I indulge in things I consider romantic; like spraying on my fave perfume, reading a nice book, going to the movies or for a walk, taking a short trip when possible, looking at the sky & the airplanes & fantasizing about the places I can't afford to visit, writing love poems/prose...

how pathetic is that

(and I do believe that love can't be found; it's all your destiny no matter how hard you try)

Answer 1

It's not pathetic! When you stop looking is when you will find.

Answer 2

I hope you realize the truth that "Everyone likes you as much as you like yourself." So in or out of a relationship, what matters the most is the knowing and accepting who you are. Love yourself and do indulge in things which makes you feel special.

Just live one day at a time. No matter what happens, only this moment matters the most. So make the most of it because "everyday is a new life for a wise person." Know that you are special and live it.

I recommend you read "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. You can thank me later. Take care.

Answer 3

I don't see anything pathetic about it... The only "pathetic" thing about it is that YOU feel it is pathetic. There are many ways of finding satisfaction - reading, talking walks and being lost in thought are as valid a way as any other. I'd been single for a while before I met the person I am now married to - and I've come to feel that happiness or fulfillment comes from within me, not from the external circumstnaces of my life. It was easy to open myself up to love once I realized that I can live without it and be perfectly happy.

Answer 4

Have you tried e-harmony or match.com. that is how my cousin met her now husband.

Neway if you want to enjoy yourself do the following.
1. Go to LUSH.com and buy some wonderfully glorious bubble bars (my favorite is Blue Skies)
2. Go to Bed, Bath and Beyond and get a comfortable bath pillow and a book tray.
3. Get you favorite book, a nice glass of wine, a yummy smelling candle (I like Christmas cookie from Yankee Candle), and some nice music.
4. Draw a bath, pour a glass of wine, put on the music, light the candle and enjoy!!!

Whether you are single or taken this is never lame or pathetic. It is enjoyable and relaxing! I love doing it

And I believe that their is someone for everyone. you will find them in time.

Answer 5

Noooo don't say that, love is for everyone, it's just not your time yet. It's so great that you're doing all these things, they're not pathetic, It takes a lot of guts to take control of your life the way you are doing, you could be at home curled in a ball feeling sorry for yourself, but your not.

don't worry your true love will come when you're ready for him. Until then keep doing what you're doing and don't give up.

Answer 6

When something is a choice it is great but when it feels imposed it is often a different story..

I think that is what maybe makes us see the 'being single coin' in different ways.. from what you say it sounds like you feel like you are missing out on love/romance/experiences with that special person etc..

I on the other hand feel that I am missing out on nothing so am very happy being single..

Here's why (not that it may help ya but just gonna spill so that hopefully you may see that it might not be all doom and gloom..)

Firstly I do not have the same view on love as your good self..I think you put that love cannot be found that it is destiny etc... For me, I see love as not being destined to meet one particular person (often called soul mate and the like) but more that each of us is destined to love one or more people during the course of our lifetime.. the emotion is destiny not a specific guy..

Here's why - evolution dictates that each of us have an innate desire (what Schopenhauer called 'will to life') or drive to both survive and forward our genes.. hence when we have chemistry with a certain person, we are almost emotionally bonded to them, feel that they are the 'one' for us etc etc (and all the other things that we term love) BUT the sting in the tale is that this kind of love not only clouds our judgement (giving life to the phrase love is blind..meaning we do not see our partner in true objective light) but it is also transient and therefore cyclal and ultimately does not last..

What can last on the other hand, as agreed by psychologists is a different but less intense kind of love called companionate love - a more realistic and less heady kind..often evident in long term realtionships..

Harkening news to one like yourself who, even from the little you wrote seems to have so much to give.

Another interesting point on the love malarkey is that although great emphasis is place in female culture on love ( in magazines, love songs, chick flicks, even the old fairytales we were read as children..) the notion of love has not been ever present in history in some ways showing that it can be a culturally entity.. the Greeks for example went through a homo-erotic phase where love was reserved for young males and women were seen as barers of children and no more.. in Jane Austen's time love was often irrelevant to matches with economics being more important etc etc - the point is that it is not therefore necessarily a human emotion that is accurately portrayed.. if it was then there would not be so many failed/unhappy realtionships out there..

Plus another point a single gal in these times should remember is that with the prevalence of internet pornography - the way many men view women and relationships is in derogatory terms etc

Start focusing on the great person you are and don't feel like you are missing out - many men are not worth it, love can be fine for a while but ultimately for most people you/I/all of us know is not perfect and therefore be glad to be on your own than with a loser.

Best of luck

Answer 7

Your not pathetic, but i do think your putting too much energy into finding your "significant other" When you least expect it is when he will come you can't search for love it finds you - you just have to be open to it. Enjoy your single life, take trips explore every chance you get, when your married in 20 years you are gonna long for these days. Everyone always thinks the grass is greener on the other side, when its your time it will happen.

Answer 8

i have felt the same i have been single all my life (I am 20) and often think I may never find the right person. There was a girl i felt was the right person was absolutley certain but she didn't feel the same way, i asked her out and she said no. I just try to think I will find someone better which i cannot immagine.
Well enough about me, you will do fine, I'm sure you will find someone eventually.
bye

Answer 9

It is hard living a single life, especially if all your close friends and family are in relationships. BUT....take this time to learn about yourself, try new things, and get a much more positive outlook on life. Otherwise, when your true love does come knocking on your door, you'll be too cynical to open it.

Answer 10

Love can be found! you just have to keep looking!

I found love in the most unlikely of places, on an online RPG. married now for 3 years, 2 kids.

http://www.AllMafia.com/register.php?refer=EastEnd_Tone

Give it a try! warning...can be addictive!!

Answer 11

If I was single, Id be out having the time of my life. Id take every spare cent I have and save it for amazing trips with my friends, Id go out dancing with my girls and have a great time. Id indulge myself in EVERYTHING I could. Good luck to you!