Getting a baby started on nursing.....?

Question

We just had our first, a very healthy baby boy (a bit small, but healthy none-the-less). Anyway, he's only 4 days old now, momma is making milk, but he seems to have zero interest in latching on. Every now and again, he'll latch on right away, I think it's happened twice. But for the most part, it's a major struggle that goes on for about an hour at a time until we decide to end it and just pump it out. As soon as the bottle hits his mouth, he's off to the races.

The questions are: How normal is this? Are there babies that just won't take to the breast? and What are some things we could do to expedite the learning curve to latching on to the breast?

We are not going to give up breast milk, but it would be much more convenient to eliminate the middle steps. Any advice and real world anecdotes would be greatly appreciated. I'm not interested in breast vs formula debates, if that's what you want, there are plenty of other questions for you to piss on.

--Thanks.

EDTITED TO ADD:

The Hospital wouldn't let the baby go more than 4 hours w/o feeding of some sort, so they sorted vetoed the no breast/no meal idea.

How long should we go between feedings before we say, "ok, the boy needs to eat something."?

Answer 1

The bottles aren't helping your situation. Eating from a bottle and nursing at the breast are very different things. If you need to get pumped milk into him, use a medicine syringe or dropper or a little soft cup (like comes with Pepto Bismol) or a spoon.

Have you worked with a Lactation Consultant or a La Leche League Leader?

The best positions for mom to control baby's head are the cross cradle and the football hold. This will give her more control over baby's head while trying to get latched on. Is baby opening up wide? If not, mom can pull down firmly on baby's chin with one finger to get that mouth open wide. Then pull baby onto the breast quickly. Sometimes having dad or another helper drip some expressed milk from a dropper across the nipple and into the side of baby's mouth will help baby get the idea.

Is she engorged? If she is too engorged, then it can be hard for baby to latch on. Try softening things up by pumping or applying a warm washcloth to the breast or soaking the breast in a basin of warm water prior to nursing.

I'd strongly suggest mom see a LC or a LLL Leader for some help with latching.

See the links below for more ideas.

EDITED TO ADD:
SALMON said he thinks "nipple confusion" is a myth. It's NOT a myth. As a breastfeeding counselor, I've seen it many times. The thing is, there is no way to know which babies will experience it. It's not like they come with big labels on their heads "Prone to nipple confusion" or "I don't care...just feed me!" SALMON was lucky his/her baby did fine. If you are already having latch problems, then obviously your baby is NOT doing fine with going from one to the other.

EDITED TO ADD:
Watch baby for cues that he is ready to feed. Offer about every 2 hours at this age. Baby can have one longer stretch (around 4 hours) without feeing per day. When you offer the breast, if mom and baby get frustrated or upset, take a break. Calm everyone down. Dad can try offering a few drops of milk from the dropper/syringe/spoon to take the edge off baby's hunger. Then they can try again. I would definately not let baby go more than 4 hours without feeding.

ALSO....keep in mind that some weight loss is normal for baby this week. Just don't want to see him lose more than 8-10% of his birthweight. And want to see him regain it by 2 weeks.

Answer 2

Two things I'm thinking:
1) Since he is only 4 days old, my guess is mama's body hasn't regulated her milk production yet. Her breasts may be a bit too hard/large for his little mouth to latch on to. Try pumping SOME but not all; just enough to "soften" her breast a bit.
2) have mama express a bit of milk and spread it on her aereola AND on his lips. Maybe once he associates the taste and smell with her, he'll get the cue that that's where the good stuff is!

Good luck and don't give up! If you have tried everything and still are having problems, call the hospital where the baby was born and talk with the lactation consultants. They're good at this.

Answer 3

I understand your frustration. My son did not nurse for 2 weeks and the pumping and then feeding made me just want to give up. I had to just let him cry a little and then put some milk on my breast to get him interested. The problem is the milk comes quicker from the bottle and they normally do not want to work for it. It is normal for it to take this long and I know that right now it is really hard and your wife needs your support because she feels like she is doing something wrong but make sure that you tell her that she is doing what is best for your son and that it will come with time. Make sure that when your wife takes a shower or bath to not wash her nipples directly. The taste of the soap was part of what was turning my son off. A friend told me to let the soap run over them but not to directly apply it to them for a while until your baby gets the hang of it. I would suggest if that does not work to contact a lactation specialist in your area and your pediatricians office should be able to set you up a appointment.

Answer 4

My oldest had the same problem. It's called survival of the fittest; also my oldest does things that are easy. I used a bottle for the first time on him because he was on me for 24 hrs straight!!! (My husband can verify). After Anthony had the bottle nipple, he realized that he doesn't have to work as hard for the food. He is now 6 yrs old with no "problems" from being "breast" deprived. In fact as my husband states a nipple is a nipple. I think that it's great that you're pumping which works just as well!!!
There's a website for children items you might want to check it out. It has a bottle that is shaped just like a breast. it's www.leapsandbounds.com (this might be the toddler site but this site has the link for the baby). Congrats on the new addition!!!

Answer 5

Usually once you start using a bottle, babies don't want to go back on the nipple. Try cutting out the bottle all together. Trust me when he is hungry, he will latch on. Though to be blunt, if your wife has small nipples, It mat be hard for him to latch on in the first place, you may have to use a bottle. Try holding him in different positions. I found the football position to be the best for newborns. Just like it sounds hold the baby on the side of you like a football and feed him laying at your side. Try different positions if that doesn't work.

Answer 6

You are experiencing nipple confusion. The only way to combat that is to dump the bottles. This site has a lot of good advice. Good luck. http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/bf/supppit.asp
http://www.kellymom.com/

Edited to answer additional questions
A newborn should latch on at the very least every 2 hours, preferrably every 90 minutes or so. Do not limit time on the breast. ONE stretch of 3-4 hours is ok, hopefully at night LOL There is information on the 'normal course of breastfeeding' at the kellymom site I linked in above.

Answer 7

There are babies that won't take the breast. It isn't very normal but it does happen. My cousin went through this with her first child. He would not latch on and she had the help of a lactation consultant. She was really depressed about it for a long time because she felt rejected. When she had her second baby, she didn't even try to nurse because of this. Like I said, it does happen but it is rare. Good luck to you and your wife and congratulations on your new baby!

Answer 8

You should get in touch with you local La Leche group. They will often come to your home to assist with breastfeeding issues. Nipple confusion is a problem. A bottle is much easier to extract milk from than Mama's breast and some babies can get a little lazy about it. If you really want to continue breast feeding ( I strongly encourage you to) you will need to give up the bottle and pacifier for a while until breastfeeding is well established.

enjoy your little one!

Answer 9

It's common for them not to want to latch on right away. Plus if the new mom is stressed the baby can sense that. Here's a link for you that should help. Best of luck!

Answer 10

First you are going to hear people tell you to be careful about switching back and forth between breast and bottle, because of "nipple" confusion..This in my opinion is a MYTH. we switch back and forth with no rhyme or reason and the kids all ate fine....

Now It has been my experience that switching holds..Instead of the standard cradle in front hold.. A "football" hold (the baby is parallel on the mothers arm with the head in the palm of her hand and the legs straddling the elbow, works better in these instances...Mom can guide the head to the nipple and its a front approach..Just make sure their nose is still "exposed" so they are able to breath while nursing.
Also it sounds mean, but wake the baby up...unwrap the blanket, take off hats..etc if they are chilly they are awake and will nurse. warm content babies nurse for about 5 sec and then fall asleep.....

Hope this helps and you get some sleep yourself......