How do I handle this?

Question

I am 15 about to be 16 and I have recently lost my virginity to a 20 yr old guy that has a girlfriend, used to live with me, and his dad is best-friends with my step-dad. I told my mom a couple days ago. She flipped out. I have just moved to a new school and I am know as a whore here and where I came from. My mom told pretty much everyone in the neighborhood. I felt pissed and depressed afterwards because the guy had denied it because he could go to jail. I cut myself because of all this.

Answer 1

Your moms a loser for saying anything, now she cannot be trusted. It was your choice sleep with anyone, so you shouldnt feel guilty. That guy is a loser. Dont harm yourself, all you did is have sex with the wrong person and told someone who is supposed to be trustworthy. Take it and be stronger.....look at the big picture, you didnt do anything wrong here. Dont cut yourself how is that going to help anything? If you dont care about yourself, cutting yourself isont going to make anyone care more, it will make you look worse. Go to a Psychologist, Psychiatrist, or Therapist and see if you can talk to them, because you might not be able to handle your thoughts on your own. You really didnt do anything wrong , u just picked the wrong person and we all do at some point or another.

Answer 2

Girl you got a lot of anger in you at the moment and I don't want to say anything without being sure what I'm saying is absolutely correct.

However these are the tips i can give you.

To deal with the whore thing all you have to do is give yourself only to a guy who really loves you. Some one who is emotionally stable, Unlike the previous. Sometimes you have to wait for a good guy. Just don't act like a whore and nobody can point a finger to you. What your mom did was not right and tell her that certain things are nobody elses business and that things should stay in the family in future, if you ever trust her again.

As for the anger, Take up a martial art. My suggestion is Tae Kwon Do. the reason is you can use your anger to improve yourself rather than hurt yourself. Plus it feels great to kick and punch and get te anger out there in a recognizeable form. however speak to a professional about a more effective counselling. this is just the start.

Answer 3

i'm sorry to here you had to hurt yourself because of this...i can not believe a mother could do this to her own child.... she should be the one person you should be able to trust,you are not a whore always remember this,,,having sex with a guy for the first time does not make you a whore,
you made a mistake by trusting this guy, you made a bad discision is all.
there are people out there that will listen to you and care about what your going thru.
talk to a teacher at school you trust, there has to be organizations, with people to help with these situations, don't feel like you are alone....your a good person...always remember that...your life is important...this is not all your fault..this 20 year old guy is more to blame , he knew better.
please don't hold this hurt inside, talk to someone you trust...please do not take this out on yourself..we all have made mistakes, you live and learn...and shame on your mom, for not being on your side..just remember your not alone, get help, work thru this..you'll be ok..good luck..

Answer 4

Woah. Honey, seek counseling right away. You need a real live person to talk to about all of this, and someone who can be sympathetic to your situation. Talk to the school counselor or dean - that's what they are there for and can be surprisingly understanding. They will help you talk things through so you don't feel the need to hurt yourself.

I can understand why your mom flipped out, but it was totally wrong of her to punish you by gossiping about it. The guy who had sex with you, besides being a cheating scumbag, is guilty of statutory rape, even if you said yes. Hopefully you practised safe sex - but just in case, get to a doctor and make sure you are pregnant or didn't catch any STDs. You have every right to go to the police and report him - of course he'll deny it, but getting in trouble for it may make him think twice about doing the same to another unsuspecting girl.

Please please please seek help and take care of yourself. Things can get better. There are lots of people out there ready to help you, but they need to know what help you need.

Answer 5

first off. dont cut yourself. please girl dont. I know your situation. But you shouldnt have told your mother. THat's something you just can't tell your mother. and if it's known around the school and neighborhood, all in good time, he will go 2 jail. you never know where this investigation could go. all i can say is. relax and know that all in good time it will go away. God has a plan for you. But really, take this advice, when you graduate go away to a college and start over fresh. take it slow, dont let guys that your goodies. dont start a bad reputation. I'm here praying everything will be ok for u..

Answer 6

If you're cutting yourself you need to get help. If I were you i'd go see the school counselor so that he/she can direct you to the proper person for help. You may need to see a counselor for depression and possibly even get on meds. Just blow off the kids at school. You aren't a whore for having sex with one person, but do try to not have sex with anyone else until you're older. There are too many risks that come along with sex and you are too young to get pregnant or and STD.

Answer 7

Just take it one day at a time. What hurts today, won't hurt as much 2marrow. Keep positive attitude even though it will seem hard and all things will turn out fine in the end.

Answer 8

Talk to a professional, I know very well about cutting, and I struggle with an eating disorder. None of it is worth it, seek professional help ... and have your mom go into too, what she did was just plain RIDICULOUS!!

Answer 9

you have build this bad name for yourself. Get your act together, your still young, you can chance your ways and that way you can prove yourself worthy again to everyone who calls you bad names! Only you can help yourself by making the right decision! GOOD LUCK!

Answer 10

date guys your own age for starters. If you don't sleep with anyone else, others might assume the rumors to be untrue.