I have been in a committed relationship with a man for 3 years now. I live with him and his two children of who I help to raise. My problem is that I want a child of my own and he doesn't. Friends tell me to leave but I love him so much. I just don't know what to do!!! Please help me!
2006-11-06 06:04:56 · 13 answers · asked by Patricia L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It seems you really love him, but also seems he isn't loving you.
That's why your friends says you so. And it is very, very possible they have right. The situation you described seems like he is being selfish, while he have two own children. Maybe he have a good reason for it, instead of? Think twice before making a decision, because, do he really love you?
2006-11-06 06:13:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anno Domini 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be in a longtime "committed r elationship" with this man, but you don't have the "papers" on him. You really should have talked about this issue a long time ago, but my bet is you didn't want to raise it because you already suspected, or he had already hinted that he'd sired all the children he wanted. It simply isn't fair, or right, to try to bludgeon him, or wheedle him into fatherhood again, when it is obvious that his heart just isn't in it. You are now in a situation where, bluntly, you are going to have to decide what you want more - your present existing "family" consisting of the man and the two children you helped raise..... or a child of your own. In the latter case, you will have to give up everything that the two of you have built over the last three years, and find another man who is perfectly ready and willing to father a child with you.
Think verrrrrry carefully about your choices, because I don't think I need a crystal ball to see into the future.- a future in which he will privately resent having been "forced" into siring a child he never wanted....... YOU will come to resent his resentment, and the whole thing will come pouring out in a torrent of bitterness all round..... with that new child right in the middle of the ruccus. Meanwhile, the whole peace and togetherness of the family life you already presumably have, will be shattered, and the lives of the two olderchildren will also be negatively affected.
2006-11-06 14:27:31 · answer #2 · answered by sharmel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loves you he should be able to understand that you want a child of your own and you should be able to come to some sort of compromise on this issue. If not...you could always forget to take those pills.....or leave him for someone else...but are you willing to hurt him, yourself or the children? Maybe he has very real concerns about having another child...you should listen to what he is not saying as well as what he is saying before you make a decision. Good luck.
2006-11-06 14:10:28 · answer #3 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is being selfish a bit. He has his kids and he doesn't fulfill your wish to become a mother. As much as you would be a mother to his kids believe me being a mother is totally different. If this is really important for you then you should have a serious talk with him and try to make him see your point of view. Otherwise don't waste more of your time hoping he'll change. Believe me he loves you too and be stubborn on this issue, see who'll come round to accept the other party's wish. Be strong
2006-11-06 14:11:49 · answer #4 · answered by better late than never 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
end it and find a man who wants a family.
Stop shacking up out of wedlock -his children see this and you're not being a good role model. You're not "committed" you're simply convenient- he could pay someone to do what you're doing for free. Committed means married.
Listen to your friends: leave him and find your own man, not some other woman's husband and some other children's dad.
2006-11-06 14:08:31 · answer #5 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you want a baby and he doesn't my suggestion is to leave him, listen what to tells your friends, in love you don't have to stay if you like something and him doesn't, live your life how you like because you have one not More lives. You will find another man that loves you as you want
2006-11-06 14:20:17 · answer #6 · answered by alina a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place. I would say leave him, but you clearly love this man very dearly. Perhaps couple's therapy is in order?
2006-11-06 14:07:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well do an oops on him. If he doesn't' want what you want then leave him for a man that does want children. Or do an oops on him. That's about your only two choices. Good luck!
2006-11-06 14:06:40 · answer #8 · answered by aimstir31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well.. tell him that you really want a child from him.. I think he's a lil selfish.. and tell him that at your age.. it will be more risky to have baby since you're not getting any younger than now.. It's not fair to have you to RAISE HIS children and NOT YOURS.. it's a blessing to be a mother to your baby.. good luck
2006-11-06 14:08:17 · answer #9 · answered by AzNgUrL 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try explaining to him that it is your right to have kids of your own, at least one. If he loves you as much as you seem to love him, he will understand. If not, he will still be hard-headed about it, in which case you may want to try a common friend to mediate.
2006-11-06 14:09:38 · answer #10 · answered by seek_fulfill 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋