My daughter is taking classes in college that are brainwashing her?

Question

Ever since my daughter started attending college she's been taking womens studies/feminist classes, and I think her college is brainwashing her. She has become obsessed and radical about feminist-issue related things and it has gotten to the point where she yells at strangers (men) who open doors for her out of politeness. She tells them that the reason they open doors for her is because they think she's too weak to open it herself cause she's a woman.
How can I get her to stop being so radical, and is her college brainwashing her?

Answer 1

an honest opinion : if u don't like it don't read it. i think the term "feminist" is sooo misunderstood - everybody seems to have a different opinion here about what being a feminist is. sorry, your daughter got it wrong too. i can tell u one thing : it certainly does not mean a men hater. it stands for equality of sexes. it says nowhere that a feminist believes that women are better than men (or vice versa for that matter). they are EQUAL. as for the extend of exaggeration ur daughter got to - well, i think college can't force beliefs into someone. it merely gives information. what u do with it is ur problem. and what the heck... - we live in a civilized world were few polite people are left....opening doors is polite. that's all....

Answer 2

That's sad to read. There are lots of men who do abandon women and they are left to do things for themselves. and anger over this has really fueled the movement your daughter has been swept up in. unfortunately. she may never have the chance to develop a healthy relationship with a man until she can accept the fact that not all men are alike. the path she is on now is an illusion. because there are good men left and this group of brain-washers want to make sure your daughter and many other women won't find the men some of their leaders are looking for themselves. What better way to keep the other woman away from the man you have your eyes set on than to create this kind of distraction. If the woman was wise enough she would tell them all where to go and get out there and grab hold of that special man for yourself.

Answer 3

Women's studies courses in college do present some quite radical ideas, but they usually balance them out with more moderate or even opposing viewpoints. It could be that your daughter simply relates with the most radical teachings of the courses. Contemporary feminists most likely wouldn't even argue that men open the door for women because they think they are too weak. This may be you daughters interpretation of the ideas.

Answer 4

That sounds like a flash back to my college years. We went through all that crap in the late 60s and early 70s, and in the end I decided that politeness and chivalry are not meant to oppress anyone. They are a welcome and refreshing change from the usual rudeness and lackadaisical attitude you encounter these days.
Unfortunately, I don't think there's much you can do to change her right this minute, other than keep your sense of humor about it. I would acknowledge her strong feelings about the subject, and ask her why it is so important to her. Does she feel that anyone is discriminating against her? It sounds like she's pretty independent and strong-minded. Ask her why she is so defensive that she feels the need to be rude to a stranger. You might not like the answer you get. It could be that someone tried to force himself on her and she hasn't told you about it.
Students are exposed to a wide variety of points of view in college. One minute, they learn about feminism, another about Communism, and then about nostalgia and nationalism. You can't protect her from the nasty hurtful world, but if you can get to the bottom of this, you may be able to help her arrive at a more balanced point of view. Many women have really suffered from sexism, abuse and discrimination. But has she? Or is she only empathizing with all the down-trodden women out there, and perhaps feeling a bit of "survivor's guilt", because she never had to worry about female genital mutilation or any other horrible dreadful customs.
Be careful not to blame either her teachers or her directly, as she will backlash against her. In other words, don't ask her a question like "Aren't these profs brainwashing you?" It's the fastest way to close the channels of communication between you two.

Answer 5

Young people are still defining themselves and sometimes they do that by taking radical positions. If it wasn't feminism it might be environmentalism or some kind of religious fundementalism. You can't blame the school for this.

I would suggest telling her that if she insists on screaming at people you tell her don't want to go out in public with her. Don't yell and scream - just be firm about it. She may stay a feminist but she'll probably learn to be less rude about it - especially if you're not the only one passing on her company until she gets a grip.

Answer 6

Is it an all girls school ,?? I dont wanna be the one to break it to ya , but most women that get into that kinds thing are usually lesbians , or have a predesposition to become a lez. I think she is trying to express herself and may possibilly be confused . Just let her know you love her and are always there to talk or just hang out, try to understand what she is feeling and going through. College can be a confusing time ,filled with uncertianty and insecurity as to what you want to acheive in life. Do not by any means put her down or tell her the studies are brain washing her( Although they may be to a certian extent) Just be supportive of her and try to give her encourgement, trying to push her one way or the other may just end up alienating you as a friend and she may think of you as ''not understanding '' or ''unsympthatic'' , just be paitent and try to understand and remain her supportive friend no matter what. But I would tell her if someone opens the door for her it is because real men were taught to be polite and it is not because we think ladies are incapable or week .good luck

Answer 7

I'm afraid that there isn't anything you can really do except explain to her that it bothers you when you are with her for her to yell at people (men) that open the door for her. Maybe she will stop when you are around. This could be just a phase she is going through.

To me I wish that there was no feminist movement (except for voting). Because of it women are not expected to work outside the home. I wish I was a stay at home mom but I was pressured to get a job and now I can afford to live if I don't work.

Good luck! Hope and pray that she will change soon.

Answer 8

...well i have to respond to this one because it has the makings of a very untidy sequence.

first off...i hope that i am not responding to a hypothetical for although i can imagine this and more truly occurring...it would bother me to know that persons will not relate more sincerely and less about creating "adversariality".

however...it does occur to me there are literally millions of women being socially conditioned for the purpose to wreak havoc on society legally.

and this is troubling. we will have to look at how 'cults' are initiated and sustained. cultures change and cultures remain the same but it seems that the young are constantly embattled. and the young know the least.

be careful however....some young (ladies as equally as gentlemen) wish to open their own doors because they desire to be noticed as maturing and capable....but then excuse politeness of another (and their self) as an indication they are being misperceived. so yes....messages become embedded upon the consciousnesses of the able or seeking to be abled.

enlighten her....show her human relationships...ask her who she is and who she wants to be. this will generally cause her to wonder who she seems to be to herself and other people around her.

i wouldn't call her radical yet but i would get to know her profs. more ... they may be cultivating some real winners for the losers they have created.

good luck and be well

Answer 9

I think she'll come to accept this on her own. Certainly she's going to turn off any male suitors with that sort of behavior. You might try to find out what has made her so angry with men. If she had no past history of abuse then there is really no reason to think that this is just more than a phase. She'll learn that there's nothing wrong with being proud of being a woman, just you can step over the line at a point.

Answer 10

I feel at times we encounter people who might change our way about looking at things. I think we go back to the way we were taught as a child by our parents though. I am 36 and I can be easily distracted by the way someone believes. But in my quiet time in my brain go back to the way I was taught. If you have a good relationship with your daughter, take her out to lunch and talk with her and show her that men are like you. Explain/re-enforce good morals in her again. If you are a good role model for her she will see men are good/nurturing people.