Well, my boyfriend and I are planning on getting married. I was semi-planning on going back to college in January to be a teacher. Thing is, I don't want to make more money than him. The other day I got a new job and he said he would have been really upset if I made more money than him (which I didn't). He's been waiting on a raise at work for a long time now.
I went to a business college for 9 months (that's the only college I've had so far). I actually had a job for 2 months (before I met him) that made a little more than him.
I know it sounds silly, but how do guys generally feel if their girlfriends/wives make more money than them? I didn't think that I would be getting married any time soon. I could just work part-time and do housework the rest of the time.
2006-11-06 05:25:49 · 13 answers · asked by New mommy 2010! 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
usually i'm not so judgemental, but that's freaken stupid and your man needs to grow up. when you are married, you are ONE, so the more money either of you makes, the better. My husband and i go back and forth on who makes more money (sometimes it's me, sometimes him) and it's a joke to us. My husband is traditional, and we agreed that all the money he makes would go to bills and other such traditional things, and all the money i make would go to lesiure/luxury things (so we could potentially live in a shack and take wild vacations, or have very nice things inside) whatever. However, my husband would NEVER try to limit my success in anyway, because the better i do the better he does (and looks) and vice versa.
your fh might be worried that if you make more you might start trying to be the man of the house or something, or he could equate money with masculinity which is bad. I say if you make more money, and he really feels that way and you want to marry him, then just but the extra money in an intrest baring account for invest it or something. But don't not make more, especailly if that means giving up such a noble and neccessary job as teaching.
2006-11-06 05:32:54 · answer #1 · answered by smm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. He Should Not Be Mad Because You're Making More Than Him. He Should Be Glad That His Wife Or Fiance Is So Educated And Knows What She Wants Out Of Life. You Only Have One Life To Live And You Should Take Advantage Of Every Option That You Have Or You Will Be Regreting It One Day When You Are Still At The Same Job And Same Education Level. He Should Understand What You Want. Marriage Is About Comprimise. I Make More Money Than My Husband And He Doesn't Really Seem To Care, It's Just More Money Coming Into The Household.
2006-11-06 05:34:23 · answer #2 · answered by mistiza12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. Being the "breadwinner" and bringing in the big salary is a big deal to a lot of men. We're socialized to go out and work and provide for our families, so some guys feel like they're inadequate if the wife makes more than he does. Sounds like your boyfriend is one of those guys. Personally, I don't see why it's such a big deal (unless the guy is playing "Mr. Mom" and really doesn't want to be at home taking care of the kids). But in your case, since you know that's going to be an issue, be careful when you go job hunting.
2006-11-06 05:30:47 · answer #3 · answered by sarge927 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to think seriously on what will make you happy and if you would be happy working part time there is nothing wrong with it. or you could even work out of your home if you wanted to. I would definaltely talk to him though so you both know all of the expectations you will have in this marriage before the actual cerimony. Men are traditionaly the head of the house hold and want to feel like they are the supporters of their family. sometimes women have to work to help out but I think it is usualy the mans place and a woman is the queen of the castle and the household is her place. I guess it depends on how strongly you want to be a career woman or how strongly you want to be a house wife but you do what is in your heart but allways talk to each other and be willing to compramise and change.
2006-11-06 05:34:34 · answer #4 · answered by tortuga 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously rethink getting married. I suggest you try dating other people as well, see what else is out there and experience life. Once you are married, the fun is over. I made more money than my now ex husband, and it was the downfall of our marriage since I didn't respect him, resented him, and in the end he felt somewhat emasulated. I couldn't even stay home after having our kids cause he couldn't provide for us.
2006-11-06 05:34:39 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a huge red flag....I hope that you distance yourself from this guy. Do not make commitments about YOUR future and your schooling to anyone unless you are married to them. As I see it, you are letting him hold the key to your own future. Go back to college. Try life without him for a while if you go out of state to college. Good luck.
2006-11-06 05:37:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's terrible that he feels that a man should work/make more than his wife/girlfriend. That seems very sexist. You should get your education and be what you want to be. If you want to get married and have kids you guys need to be financially stable to support the family. You should talk to him and tell him it would be important to you if you went and became a teacher.
2006-11-06 05:28:30 · answer #7 · answered by XoSexierDenYewXo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone likes more money. I would love it if my wife made more money than me. In fact, she should be there in about six months. We share all of our money, so it just means more money for our family.
2006-11-06 05:46:32 · answer #8 · answered by Bill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He either needs to swallow his pride and let you be the bread winner.... or he needs to leave his job and find a different one that pays better. You should not base your decision about going back to college on his ego!
2006-11-06 05:31:11 · answer #9 · answered by GoWhitey33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok first of all... I know many men whose women make more money than them. and they are secure enough as men to know that their women are a catch- that they shouldn't be ashamed of being successful... seriously you shouldb't either. don't compromise what you want out of life for someone you may or may not be with forever....
... you need to make the best you possible... and if he can't deal with it it's HIS loss!
2006-11-06 05:29:03 · answer #10 · answered by rachel o 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋