some of you may have answered my question a few days ago about my fiance of 3 years that cheated on me in my 9th month of pregnancy which is now, im staying at my mothers until the baby comes, he wants to see her until the baby comes and then see how things work with us. i was pretty sure that no matter what i want to work it out with him, but right now he is being so selfish and was so rude when i talked to him this morning that i feel he does not deserve to be in the deivery room to see his daughter being born. i want him more than anything to be there and i really dont think i would stop him from being there, but how do i make him realize that he doesnt deserve both withouth pushing him further into her arms ?
2006-11-06 04:51:30 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What you need to do is tell him in front of your parent that he does not deserve to be in the deliver room. If he still insist tell the doctor before hand that he is not allowed to be in the deliver room when you are delivering. The doctor and your parent surely help you. Good Luck.
2006-11-06 14:26:44 · answer #1 · answered by hafidz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I just had my first baby two months ago, so I know what an exciting and emotional time that can be. Shame on him for being so selfish! You are at a time when he should be there supporting you, and instead he decides he wants to see another woman.
I know it's hard to accept, but he is not deserving at all of being there when you have that baby. It's really hard to do that though when you love someone like I'm sure you love your fiance, even though he isn't acting right. I can't imagine not having had my husband there with me, but I will say that as hard as it would be, I'd rather not have had him there if he was acting like that. It seems to me he thinks he can get his jollies from her now and you'll be ready to take him back when he's done with her. You'll be too busy and he might even be jealous because he knows you will have less time for him once the baby is here.So he's being selfish and getting his attention elsewhere.
Don't wait around for him. This is supposed to be a special time for you! One of the most memorable days of your life. Don't let him ruin that for you. I'd say let him see her once she is born and you have had time to bond with her, but do not let him in that room with you!
Good luck with the delivery! It was one of the most exciting days of my life! It's not easy, but in a way it's fun to know how hard you worked to bring something so precious as a beautiful little baby into the world. Good luck with your fiance situation as well. I really do hope he comes to his senses!
2006-11-06 05:29:41 · answer #2 · answered by Abby B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hadn't read the other answers people gave before I answered before, so I signed into my old account to say one more thing for the people who think he should be in the delivery room if she doesn't feel she wants him there-
There is never a time where you are more exposed, and vulnerable then while you are giving birth! That is YOUR special private time. If he were treating you right, I'd say yes, let him in. BUT, you are the one who kept that baby in you for nine months. He may have helped to concieve her/him, but he ceratainly isn't acting deserving of watching you do something like that.
What is everyone thinking, saying he has the right to be IN the delivery room? YOU are the patient that day. YOU are the one about to probably to the hardest work of your life. YOU are going to be the one completely exposed! You shouldn't have to show anyone that if you don't feel comfortable doing so! If you do, then that is fine too! But if you don't, don't feel like you have to for him!
I'm not saying don't let him be a part of you daughter's life. He should be one of the main parts. I am saying though, that I personally wouldn't want to be hanging out there for someone like that to see me.
2006-11-06 05:39:15 · answer #3 · answered by shenab99 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The cheating part is wrong no question. As to the delivery room, that is just as much his child as yours regardless of mistakes made.
Don't use the child as a pawn before its even born.
As for the seeing his little ### bucket until the baby is born. That is BS. Tell him it is all or nothing now. Make him choose you and his child or his little floozy.
I am not sure what legally you can do to stop him from being in the delivery room or seeing the baby.
2006-11-06 05:02:02 · answer #4 · answered by SRC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it is going to be hard, but you need to realize that he doesn't deserve you or a child. If he really cared about you, or his baby, he would not treat you this way. You are making the ultimate sacrifise right now by carrying his child and he doesn't even have enought respect for you to be faithful to you. I am sure you are in a lot of pain because of this situation, and that pain effects the seratonin and dopamine levels of your child. (these are chemicals in the brain that affect a person's happiness). So basically you being sad throughout your pregnancy can actually cause your child to have depression issues later in life. I am not saying that it will happen, but is defenetly possible.
Please, for the sake of your child, respect yourself and DO NOT take this man back. Give the child your last name, get a lawyer, and make sure that if you let him be a part of your childs life, you get child support from him. You deserve so much better than this scumbag! I don't even know you and it makes me angry to read that you want to work it out with him.
It may be hard to believe, but there are good men out there who will love you and treat you right, and they will even love another man 's child like their own if they truly love you. My fiance's step-father raised him and his brother and sister, and treats them as if they were his own. He still helps them and they are all in their thirties. He has made them his own, because he fell in love with their mother over 20 years ago. They are so greatful to have him, and realize how big of a jerk their real father is. Parenthood is something that should be earned. Just because he left his seed inside you DOES NOT give him the right to treat you like crap, and assume you will always be there for him.
I know it hurts, but what I am telling you is the truth. If you don't respect yourself now, it will only get worse. And you are going to be someeone's role model now. Do you want your child to grow up not respecting themselves, because they saw what their mother did?
2006-11-06 06:00:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you saying he doesn't deserve to see his daughter or just to be in a relationship with you? If the latter, that is really up to you. If you can forgive him, great. If not, then you should still let him see his daughter no matter what. Why? Because no matter if he is with you or not, your child will be his also. If you keep him away from child, he won't forgive you nor will your daughter when she finds out the truth. Then she'll have you to blame for not growing up with a father. To sum it up, let the guy at least see his daughter, but from then on it's between you and him about what goes on from there.
2006-11-06 05:17:16 · answer #6 · answered by Eddie S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I felt the same way when my husband cheated on me when i was 8 months pregnant. We separated and when it was time for the delivery, I decided to have him in the room for support. Maybe because I really didn't have anyone else. After my son was born, he had some health problems and ended up staying in the hospital. To make a long story short, Give him a chance to be there to see the birth and this wonderful moment will make him realize how much he had to loose. my husband and I are back together happily.
2006-11-06 05:00:33 · answer #7 · answered by jazzy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He's on both sides of the fence and liking it. If him being there is going to upset you or make your delivery harder keep him out. Let him know you need to reconcile this BEFORE the baby. In a committed relationship there are no vacations from each other. Him being a jerk isn't helping you-or the baby. He needs to make a decision now--you and the baby or his hoochie and no baby.
2006-11-06 05:02:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of his mistake, he deserves to see his child being born. Invite him in the delivery room - put your differences aside for that day - and focus on the baby. What a terrible burden to be on you during this very happy time.
2006-11-06 05:03:34 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how many human beings can i've got interior the DEIVERY ROOM< WHO CAN or no longer it relatively is? relies upon on the wellness midsection, decide for a wellness midsection excursion previous t your dut date and ask. IF IM UNDERAGE, DOES MY mom must be IN tHERE? OR DOES SUM1 OVER 18? OR DOES IT no longer count? No she would not ought to, it is your determination. MY BOYFREND is likewise UNDERAGE, AND HE needs to BE IN THERE, CAN HE? definite he could nicely be how many human beings? AND DOES IT must be relatives? some hospitals basically enable your better half, others enable as many as can greater healthful, and it would not must be relatives. Ask what the wellness midsection's coverage is.
2016-10-15 10:53:37 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋