I'm still in love with my wife and want to know if she is seeing someone else. We never really agreed that we would see other people, but I guess separating says we can. I am driving myself crazy not knowing what she is doing....so I feel it would be better if I knew - not that I would like the answer, but that would know what is happening. It becomes complicated because my kids (who are living with her) are always saying something about her staying out late and always gone on Friday nights, etc. I wish I didn't care. Can anyone tell me what to do?
2006-11-06 04:35:03 · 23 answers · asked by dhansen815 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I guess talk to her to set dating guidelines. But if you have established that the relationship is over then she is allowed to date & you just have to accept that. I'm sorry. If there is a chance of getting back together, than you need to discuss this with her rationally. If you have children than it's important that you two can still communicate.
2006-11-06 04:38:57 · answer #1 · answered by IMHO 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your separated which might mean there is a good chance you will end your marriage in divorce? There for you have NO RIGHT to know if she is seeing someone else or what she is doing. The only thing you have a right to is the right to know that your children are taken care of and protected. Odds are if you knew {even though being separated you don't have that right and there is nothing that says she has to tell you} I'm sure you'd be even more hurt. Let the unknown remain the unknown. I'm sure she's not all up in your business. Furthermore not all states recognize adultery and those that do really don't enforce any punishment for it.
2006-11-06 04:38:51 · answer #2 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just want validation. You want to know if she is, because if she is then you pretty much know that it is over. But I am thinking that you are hoping she is not, so you may think there is a chance for you and her. How long have you been seperated? I personally would not start dating until the divorce. Not only to show respect, but to keep my head clear and not confuse the children. I also feel that if you date while seperated and you get back with your spouse, that could cause jealousy and regret. Talk to her, that is the only way you will know how she feels, and you can move on. I don't know really how to help you, but I hope I did in some way. Good luck! :)
2006-11-06 04:43:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although you are separated...it should be some kind of agreement that you are still married. For whatever reason, this should be the time to reflect on if you guys are going to work it out or not....by dating other people it making the process more difficult. You should talk to your wife and ask her...hopefully she will be honest with you. In the meantime, you should occupy your time and thoughts with other things....start reading more, spend more time with your kids, etc. Use this time for some self reflection and the same for your wife
2006-11-06 04:42:50 · answer #4 · answered by teaspoon520 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the separation is a cooling off period for both persons to examine the relationship and see what can be done to resolve the issues or if either party wants to.... separation was never meant to be a time for dating other people - it was a time to cool off and sort out your emotions about continuing the marriage or not. If you two haven't been in touch with each other then you need to make the effort to see about having a heart to heart talk with your wife and see if she wants to do marriage counselling....(or end the marriage)
2006-11-06 04:50:50 · answer #5 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you still loved her you should never have agreed to a seperation. You should have just waited until she served you the divorce papers, or begged her to go to couples therapy with you. Maybe you should talk to her about this option. If she is seeing someone else, it is time for the two of you to start talking about a divorce, as this is not fair to you. Then you can move on with your life and accept closure. Anyway, talk to HER about this. Don't drag your kids into it, that isn't fair to them. Stop asking them about her personal life.
2006-11-06 04:39:38 · answer #6 · answered by Mom of Marley 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
id think that if you just got a divorce or just seperated its VERY normal to be curious like that. and i think in time that you wont feel like that. it might take some time but it will.
i was married before this engagement and i was constantly thinking about him with his girlfriend. what did i do wrong that hed rather have her?
well the pig is in jail (long story) and i dont care anymore. im getting married dec. 2 and cant be happier. it will happen for you also.
good luck and have a great day
Kristy
2006-11-06 04:38:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try and get your wife into counseling with you. Obviously there are problems between you or you wouldn't be separated in the first place. The other alternative is to ask her. Be honest about how you feel. Don't give up on your marriage if you think you can save it.
2006-11-06 04:38:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Even if your separated, seeing someone else is adultery. However, if you suspect it, or it is happening, then it is safe to say the marriage is over. Either way, you still have to move foreword, not live on hope. BTY, Are you working on saving the marriage or just waiting to divorce?
2006-11-06 04:38:12 · answer #9 · answered by Common Sense 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel, I was in that same situation. But how & the way she did things. Made it very easy for me to let her go. It comes a time when you have to see people for who they really are and not for who they try to be when around you. What ever you do be respectful to and towards her. Be patient with yourself, be patient with your kids, they need you more than ever now.
2006-11-06 05:35:48 · answer #10 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋