I have been divorced for 2 years now....I have been on a divorced board for some time and have been chatting with a man who will be divorced at the end of the month.....we are friends and would like to meet after his divorce, only problem is that I am so far along then he is and could possibly be attracted and fall for this man....and since he is going to be newly divorce is not ready for any kind of relationship at this time....my question is, what do I do, do I meet with him as a friend and keep any feelings that I might have or get for him to myself in the future? Has anyone who has been divorced ever entered into another relationship soon after? should I just meet with him as a friend see how things go...if I find that I like what I see just continue being his friend until he is ready for a relationship in the future? and how long could it take to enter into another relationship? thanks for the replies
2006-11-06 04:00:54 · 8 answers · asked by M m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sure go ahead and meet him as friends. You need to get to know him first as it is with any possible relationship.
Good Luck!
2006-11-06 04:10:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. It sounds like you're "ready" for a relationship although he may not be "ready" for awhile.
I think I'd continue being his "friend" for now and just see how it goes. You sound like a pretty "together" person, I'm sure you will know when the time is right.
While we all know in our "minds" that people need time after a divorce, sometimes our "hearts" tell us something different. Love isn't always "logical".
My husband and I have been married for 34 years. We went together for about 4 1/2 years before we got married. Both of us were divorced with children. I was living on my own and was newly "separated" when I met him. He was also "newly" separated. Back then it took about 2-3 years to get a divorce so almost everyone was "dating" before the divorce was final.
Anyhow, we both knew it was "too soon" for both of us to get involved. I'm sure a lot of the problems we encountered were due to that fact. However, neither of us had ever felt that way before and we made the decision to "go for it". Was the "timing" right, no. Were the "feelings" right, yes.
I'd be the first one to tell you to use your own judgement. Everyone is different and sometimes life just "presents" an opportunity even if the "timing" isn't perfect. Only you can decide whether or not to take it.
I wish you all the best and good luck. You sound like a wonderful person and I think when the time is right, you'll do just fine!
2006-11-06 12:29:04 · answer #2 · answered by Mugsy's Place 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men and women are very different... But I've been told Im very much like a guy as far as my emotions go. When I got divorced... Within a MONTH I was moving on and finding happiness again. I truly felt that it was OVER long before we got divorced, and many people feel like that. Especially guys. Guys will usually be 100% sure that they want a divorce before filing for one. So as far as my situation went, I was on dates 1 month after kicking him out and 3 months prior to the divorce being finalized. So... really he may not have feelings anymore for her. Id let him tell you for sure. I kicked my husband out July 20th, On August 23rd I went on my VERY FIRST date with my NOW husband... I fell in love IMMEDIATLY afterwords... I wasnt looking for a long term relationship... it just happened. We were perfect for eachother in EVERY SINGLE way and we have been together for over 3 years now, and I have never been this happy in all my life. It took me a few weeks to really feel able to go on a date, but I look back now and Im so glad I went. Good luck to you both!
2006-11-06 12:11:56 · answer #3 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree -- just go check things out. Worst thing that could happen is that you will be his rebound. The first relationship that you get into fresh from a divorce almost never works out. He will need to sew his wild oats for a year or so -- but hey --- have fun with the guy --- take a chance
2006-11-06 12:09:18 · answer #4 · answered by brainfreeze007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep the relationship at a friend level for an extended period of time. You are both getting out of a marriage...why rush into another relationship.
2006-11-06 12:08:45 · answer #5 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The relationship can't go any faster than you let it go. Make plans to get together once a month for dinner, and keep it to once a month for a year or so. Then think about taking it further.
2006-11-06 12:32:10 · answer #6 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its socially acceptable to pretty much do whatever you want hooking up with whoever you want, but the honest truth is that 2 people who could not, or would not honor their marriage vows should not pursue more committed relationships, especially the instant they divorce.
2006-11-06 12:08:16 · answer #7 · answered by THEMENACE47 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh for heavens sake quit agonizing...just go and see what happens.
2006-11-06 12:03:27 · answer #8 · answered by David B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋