He has been leaving in California for the past 2 years but coming to visit here in Florida every weekend. He does care for me and our family, but this separation has put a wedge in our relationship. I'm not sure if I would or wouldn't cheat on him again. I do not feel the same for him as I did before, but I still want to be with him. I wonder if this is the way a relaintionship should feel like after 5 years.
2006-11-06 03:57:42 · 18 answers · asked by Mesa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well if you are living in different states and you have been separated for 2 years you guys need to come to some kind of conclusion to this, you are married, which means married all the time not just on the weekends. I would demand a reunion or a divorce because if you do not feel the same for him as you did before then you should not stay married. If you love someone so much to get married then your feelings should never change, but if they do then divorce is the answer because you will only be putting eachother thru heartach and disappointment. why not call it quits and go on as really good friends and you guys can go on with your lives. Good Luck to both of you and i hope that you make the right decision.
2006-11-06 04:12:58 · answer #1 · answered by twinki 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two years apart where you just see each other on visits is not hardly a marriage. A marriage is about living and experiencing life together. Yes, it is wrong to cheat, but I'm don't think your wrong for feeling the way you do about the relationship. Maybe it is time for you two to sit down and decide if this type of relationship is really right for you. Personally I couldn't stay married to someone I saw so little of.
2006-11-06 04:10:41 · answer #2 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, after 5 years the "passion" you shared at the beginning does cool down and life becomes routine. With the distance imposed by living on opposite sides of the country, it is hard to really feel connected to your partner. If you factor in a new and exciting relationship, it is possible to feel as if your love is fading. If you want to save your marriage, the two of you need to live in the same state. Living together will help you decide if you want to work to save your marriage or let it go. The point is, your husband deserves to know if he has a marriage or not. It isn't really fair for you to play and not let him know for several reasons.
The bottom line is, marriage takes work. If you aren't willing to work for the relationship, then the fire and passion will die and the relationship will go with it.
2006-11-06 04:05:57 · answer #3 · answered by MJL613 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok....if your husband doesnt know about this adultery leave it like that. The fact that you are separated....your marriage must have had a strain on it. Also, I would suggest that you did not commit any more infidelity until you are sure about your marriage. Bringing someone else in, whether its emotionally, physically or whatever, often confuses a situation like that. Take the time away from your husband to get to know yourself and what you want. Your expectations of this marriage, of your husbands and of your life period. And share this with your husband when he comes home. But do some self searching...it will save you alot of headaches!
2006-11-06 04:04:32 · answer #4 · answered by teaspoon520 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First and for most I don't know exact ally what happened in your relationship. To me it seems needs and wants were not met in this relationship. Why would you want to hang on to some one if you don't have the same feelings for him? If you don't love him then don't be with him. Ask yourself are better separately if you are then be separate from him but remain friends. Find a man that you are going like and love for the right reasons.
2006-11-06 04:12:06 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, most successful marriages are based on deceit and cheating. 5 years what an eternity! Gee, just keep having him send money home to keep up the house and car payments! I can't see any ethical dilemma in that! It's all about you anyway. Men are animals that should be used like draught horses. Why not keep up the charade? Its not like you have a soul!
2006-11-06 04:05:38 · answer #6 · answered by Bob 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you live so far apart? And no a relationship should not feel like that after 5 years. I would divorce him and find someone else to share your life with.
2006-11-06 04:02:47 · answer #7 · answered by Urchin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The reason people cheat is because something is missing. Something HAS to change.
1) You move to Cali
2) He moves to Fla
3) Separate
You don't really have a marriage if you are going elsewhere to find happiness, you merely have an arrangement.
2006-11-06 04:02:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
continuously selecting to act in a fashion which you knew might harm your husband for 5 years isn't a mistake - you willfully chosen to do something you knew grew to become into incorrect. the 1st element you ought to do is to very own as much as the certainty that it somewhat is YOUR fault. end enjoying some little helpless sufferer. You did no longer by danger have intercourse with somebody returned and returned for 5 years. you weren't "tricked" into carrying on an affair. it is your fault which you betrayed your husband. definitely, i do no longer think of you're sorry on your strikes - i think of you're merely sorry which you bought caught. you merely experience accountable because you're petrified of dealing with the outcomes. You of course weren't sorry adequate to end the affair for the completed 5 years it grew to become into occurring. for my area, your marriage is probable doomed. With the type of blatant selfishness and refusal to take duty on your person strikes, the probabilities which you are going to ever deal along with your husband like he merits to be taken care of are slender to none.
2016-12-28 14:25:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you don't feel for him the way you did. Even back then you cheated on him. More than likely you will do it again, seeing that you no longer feel the same.
2006-11-06 04:03:47 · answer #10 · answered by Floss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋