Sorry for being so vague! Our girls are in their early twenties. My ex husband put or kids in the middle by making them choose between us. I caught him cheating with is second ex wife (i was his third). He is an alcoholic and was convicted of domestic abuse against me. He was also diagnosed as Bi-Polar. He quit taking his meds when he came off of prbation. He is a consumate liar and his children have been pulled into all of his drama by him. I continue to protect them from issues that do not concern them. He, however, turns all situations to make him the victim. My youngest, 25, has always tried to maintain a relationship with me against her fathers wishes. Now, after several years of his verbal attacks, she is making a turn away. He has told her things that are completely untrue. When she asks me I have tried to skirt the conversation in another direction because these are issue that have nothing to do with her or her sister.
2006-11-06 03:33:43 · 11 answers · asked by rivergirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You children are old enough to be sat down and told the truth. Just state the facts, don't drag them through more emotional trauma...meaning don't pour all of your frustration and hurt and anger about the situation on them.
2006-11-06 03:36:28 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she is asking dont skirt the issue at 25 she is old enough to handle the truth. Tell her the truth with out on bias and let her take from there. You say she is turning away from your husband maybe the truth will help her get away from the verbal abuse she has had to suffer much quicker.
2006-11-06 11:51:53 · answer #2 · answered by d2347 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please read up on people who are Bi-Polar and ask your children to read up on it also, it may explain things better as to why your husband/ father acts this way. (Bi-Polar people tend to be in fantasy world and convince themselves and others of things that are not true, they also tend to turn to alcohol, drugs and rage happens often).
Also try not to skirt around the issue, be upfront with them. Dodging the issue without giving them a reason may make them feel there is some truth to it and may do more harm than good. They are adults and should be able to handle it, how much you tell them is up to you.
2006-11-06 12:44:02 · answer #3 · answered by trojan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said that your youngest is 25, it is time to just tell them the truth and let them decide. Do it in a way that it does not look like you are attacking their father, that will only make you look petty. But for darn sure, do not "skirt" the conversation, that will only make what he is saying look valid. Talk to them, they are grown up now and can deal with it. They should be able to see by now what is real and what is not, but you need to stop trying to protect them from it and let them know and decide.
2006-11-06 11:55:52 · answer #4 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay when if comes to your girls... Dont fight when something like this comes up. Try and find ways to get out and do something together without bringing it up. Unless they bring it up. But looks like they could see what kinda of person this man is. If he can act like a 2 year old child then they should know he is up to no good and wants his cake and wants to eat it two. News flash isnt going to happen! You do everything it takes! Best of wishes to you and your family!
2006-11-06 11:39:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something Specially
For You
I said a prayer for you today
And know God must have heard-
I felt the answer in my heart
Although He spoke no word!
I didn't ask for wealth or fame
(I knew you wouldn't mind)-
I asked Him to send you treasures
Of a far more lasting kind!
I asked that He'd be near you
At the start of each new day
To grant you health and blessings
And my friendship to share your way
I asked for happiness for you
In all things great and small-
But it was for His loving care
I prayed the most of all.
By: Kenny P. aka-Cobra
2006-11-06 11:38:45 · answer #6 · answered by Cobra 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your children are plenty old enough to be making those kind of decisions for themselves.....If they ask....answer....But try to leave all of your personal emotions out of it or you will come across hateful and I am sure that will add fuel to the fire......Just love your girls! That is all you really can do and let them come to their own conclusions.
2006-11-06 11:40:51 · answer #7 · answered by Littlebit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They arent little kids. Tell them the truth because holding back is only hurting you. The truth might hurt, but its out there and they can make their own decisions from there,.
2006-11-06 11:43:19 · answer #8 · answered by crazzzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately this issues concern them as well, wanted or not they are in the middle of this and then for you have to consider them. if you say the he is just lying then prove to your girls the you are rigth so they can come live with you. if that's what you want.GOD BLESS YOU and good luck
2006-11-06 11:40:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should always be up front and honest with your kids. If your husband is as bad as you say he is the kids will see it. You do have the right to stand up for yourself!
2006-11-06 11:45:35 · answer #10 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋