My husband (not his father) says my 13 year olds mouthiness is the reason he wants a divorce. I agree that the boy is mouthy. I flick him in his lips when he's mouthy. He is 13! He is not vulgar or disrespectful, just argumentative sometimes. I told my husband to punish him for talking back, but he won't. Now he wants a divorce because he can't stand my son.
2006-11-06 03:31:09 · 51 answers · asked by Fiery75 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What example would that teach your son, or do to him later on when he finds out you got divorced on account of him? If your husband really loved you, then he would help you with your son, and show him the "ways of the man". Right now, your son is 13, of course they are a little rebellious. Your hubby needs to see that, and not divorce you on such a little issue...he was 13 once. Sounds to me like there are other underlying issues with you and your husband to make him want to divorce you on such a small matter. Either that, or he is not a man. Good luck! :)
2006-11-06 03:55:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well unfortunately, I have heard of many a divorce that is because of the child or children. I think the 13 yr old needs to learn to respect you and your new husband. I would be putting down some serious ground rules. If you truly love your husband, and you are both in agreement that the child needs discipline, then you should both be a part of the process. You need to think also, that your son is going to grow up and move away. That will leave you with your husband or alone. If this is the man that you want to spend the rest of your life with, then you probably should re-think the situation. There are ways to handle a 13 yr old. You are the parent. Not a friend. That comes later. I have 3 grown sons and they have all come to me and told me that they appreciate that I was as strict as I was. They hated it growing up, but it is a RESPECT issue. Now we are all good friends. If he does not learn to respect himself or you or the new father figure, how is he ever goin to make it in a relationship himself. I would feel bad for the girl in that instance. I think you should all 3 sit down and say this is just the way it is going to be. If he still wants to leave after you have tried to be stern, then perhaps there is another reason.
2006-11-06 04:52:43 · answer #2 · answered by ladydi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think you shoudl be doing more than just flicking him in the lip. When you do that its almost as if you are a child just fighting back. Take action! Take things he really loves away and dont give them back for a week or how ever long it takes for him to stop talking back. Remember he is 13 all kids at 13 start to take back ect. That were you step up and act like an adult. He hard on him. He wants to push you a little you push back harder. Your the mom!!!!That lip wont get him no where once he gets older... No woman is going to deal with that ****.
As for your husband. SCREW THAT!!!!! Thats the lamest mess I have ever heard of. Look you tell him he needs to stop acting like he is 13 and running away from everything. He was man enough to say I do and to take you and your son in. He should be man enough to take a little 13 year old taking **** to him. What kinda man cant deal with something like that? Sounds like that is just his ticket out... Something he has just been looking for a reason to leave you. It might not even be about your son. You should get to the bottom of this before its to late. Because you are always going to wonder ( That is if he leaves you) See if there is more than meets the eye. If you want it you are going to have to work this out some way or another. Best of wishes to you and your family.
2006-11-06 03:46:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alot of divorce happens because the stepfamily is too much for the step parent to bear. You can't walk away from your son, but he can. Isn't there a way you can get this family to work out? Just getting a divorce isn't necessarily a good option-you don't want to teach your son that if he acts like a jerk, you just give him what he wants. Your son is important, there is no doubt of that, but he should not control the success of a family. I would guess that his mouthiness is more than occasional for your husband to want to leave you over it. It sounds like your son is pitting you against your husband and this is driving you two apart. That's not fair to you or your husband. Will your husband go to counselling as a family? Can you two agree on a united approach to manage your son through this hideous age?
2006-11-06 03:41:21 · answer #4 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. I think he's just using it as an excuse. Even the best behaved 13 year old will be mouthy sometimes. That's just part of being a teenager. Now if he is constantly cussing his step dad out and you do nothing about it then he may have a point, but I think there is more to it than that.
2006-11-06 03:54:36 · answer #5 · answered by kat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a terrible reason for a divorce!! It is pretty sad that he would want to lose you over that. First of all he is your son and he will always be. Second of all it isnt you that is mouthy to him. It sounds like he didnt know what he was getting into when he married a woman with a child.
2006-11-06 03:36:37 · answer #6 · answered by runzwsizorz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not your husbands place to discipline your son. That's yours!!!
Most step kids hate it when the step parent tries to tell them what to do etc...I'm sure the fact that you cant seem to control his mouth isn't making things any better...I do understand why your husband would like to leave, who wants to live his life with a smartazz kid always talking back , but I don't think he should want a divorce right away, I would ask him about going to counseling for the whole family as well as marriage. You need to do allot more then flicking your sons mouth when he speaks this way..get him under control and I'm sure your husband would stay.
2006-11-06 03:38:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not a valid reason, for a divorce, It is not you, It is your son, who the two of you need to come together as parents, and sit this child down, and have a talk with him. You have to be firm, and follow through, with what ever punishment the both of you come up with. Now if he will not do it, what is wrong with you, can't you handle a 13 year old child? You have let him get away with too much. for too long. This needs to be nipped in the butt! If you do not deal with this situation now, this child is going to get a rude awaking when he get out, their in the outside world!
2006-11-06 03:40:28 · answer #8 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where is your son's father, is he in the picture? I have a adolescent male they all talk back it is a part of growing up. If I had to choose between my son or my son's step dad no brainer I would choose my son. You need to focus on making sure your son is given the best opportunities possible to become a productive adult. If you don't ensure his upbringing you will have more problems then talking back. You need to tell your husband this and if he still doesn't want to stick around let him move on and you don't hook up with another man until your son is out of the house.
2006-11-06 03:51:21 · answer #9 · answered by carly h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he married your son not you. Kids are kids and as such are meant to be argumentative. This is the age when they are cutting the strings of momma's apron and trying to gain a little independence. Geez your husband should be aware that he only has about 5 more years than your boy will be off to post secondary. Speak with your boy and husband and try and have them come to a compromise as this isn't your responsibility, if your husband is the once complaining.
2006-11-06 03:37:14 · answer #10 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋