2006-11-06 03:10:19 · 8 answers · asked by debbie2243 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Second marriages can be difficult as far as "children" and "grandchildren" are concerned. It's easy to fall in love with someone but sometimes "difficult" to love their family.
You can't make him "love" anyone. However, he should love and respect you enough to make an effort to be "civil" to the grandchildren when they visit.
This is a "no brainer" as far as I'm concerned. My children and grandchildren are far too important in my life for me to tolerate any man who didn't treat them with respect and consideration. He wouldn't have to "love" them, but he damn well better be good to them!
I know how difficult this can be, my husband and I were both married once before. We each had three children. We dated for 4 1/2 years before we married so I knew what kind of man he was before I married him. He's been the best but it hasn't always been easy. It's taken a lot of understanding, negotiating and hard work!
My husband and I have been together for 34 years now. Not only did he raise my children, he adopted them. My kids were young, my daughter was only 6 months old when we met and my boys were 3 and 7 yrs. old.
My husband is 12 years older than me so his kids were 18, 17, and 10 yrs. old at the time. I think dealing with the "older" kids was tougher for me. Although I can't say I "love" them the same as I love my own children, I do love them as individuals. I know how much they mean to my husband so I put their "welfare" above any personal feelings I may have.
Everyone is different and so is their ability to care for and "love" other people's children and grandchildren. But, if you are going to be a "family", you have to be able to "accept" each other's children. Bottom line, if he "loves" and respects you, then he needs to learn to "accept" your children.
I wish you the very best of luck. It may not be "easy" but it's always worth it.
2006-11-06 03:35:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't make another person love anyone. But you can demand that he treat your family with respect when they visit. Does he have biological children/grandchildren of his own? Are you accepting of them? Does he have jealousy issues regarding your life before he was a part of it?
In any event, these are CHILDREN. Harsh and demanding isn't the way to go. Tell him that he's the adult and needs to act in a respective manner toward the children, before he expects to receive it from them.
2006-11-06 11:15:09 · answer #2 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to explain to your husband that you demand respect for all of your relatives.
Inform him that his behavior is unnessecary and unattractive and that if he continues to treat your grandchildren in such a manner, that you'll have to seperate. Even if you wouldn't consider seperation, it's still something to say just to scare him into respecting your grandchildren.
Regardless, he should love them the way you do and learn things about them rather then being demanding towards them.
2006-11-06 11:15:06 · answer #3 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Problem. They are your grand kids, you decide what you will allow and not allow. Tell him to shut the hell up and either be nice to the kids or go to the bar or someplace he can act like that.
I don't know what the kids ages are or if they are disrespect full to the man but as long as they are nice and polite then he needs to be a grown up and act accordingly.
2006-11-06 11:15:46 · answer #4 · answered by sideways 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should have seen how they interacted before you married. You cant force someone to love another person or even like them
2006-11-06 11:12:48 · answer #5 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
remind him that he married in this family knowing about those kids and he needs to relax. there just kids..... tell him to grow up. it's not there fault. Good luck!
2006-11-06 11:15:44 · answer #6 · answered by future_teardrop 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Other people's kids are a pain.
Only blood relatives will put up with the little brats.
Don't worry about it.
_
2006-11-06 11:11:36 · answer #7 · answered by GoogleRules 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Why would he love them? They are not his. You will be lucky if he can learn to tolerate them.
2006-11-06 11:14:35 · answer #8 · answered by sheeny 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋