Many times in my life I've been frozen out, either by "friends", co-workers, study-groups...and in all cases I've yet to learn how to deal with them. It's a constant test in life which I fail b/c I don't know how to deal with it. Lashing out I know is not the answer, but me sitting on the outside and doing nothing is just as bad. How do you deal with being isolated when you really want to be apart of something special?
2006-11-06 03:07:02 · 9 answers · asked by King H 6 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Start by inquiring as to what the reasons of others avoiding you are.
Maybe a certain side of you, your personality or your behavior, is problematic, and causes others to avoid you.
Maybe you've been ignored or frozen out once in the past and it affected you deeply, causing you to have a subconscious expectation of being treated similarly each time - there's a social theory called the "self-fulfillment prophecy" which states that your expectations, whether they are correct or not, affects the outcome of a situation or the behavior of an individual.
Another possible answer to your question is - and this might be your case - that you look for friends in the wrong environment. Try to review your qualities, what you appreciate in yourself in others, and see if the people you want to socialize with have the same principles and lifestyle like yourself.
Whichever option is correct for you, remember that appreciating yourself will bring the appreciation of others, and not the other way around.
2006-11-06 03:35:06 · answer #1 · answered by LoreCore 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak up and ask someone. Be honest, you may find some surprising answers.
I was in the same position in a small town. This is what I found; they didn't like outsiders, they didn't like me because I was intelligent and that was threatening to them, I was single and married older women found that threatening and I looked younger than my years which was jealousy on their part. Strange huh? All of the reasons has nothing to do with anything I did, or didn't do. I was frustrated by this and did'nt know how to get past THEIR problem. So I didn't, I just was me and made a couple of friends in the process who weren't like the others.
People are weird sometimes because they carry jealousy, prejudices, ignorance. Rise above it and search out the few right minded ones, they are out there, you just have to look and be patient. But do question these people for their behavior, maybe then they will think about what they are doing. I did and those were the ones that became my friends.
2006-11-06 03:19:39 · answer #2 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of the sad parts of being human is the lack of consideration prevailing in North America these days and if you are young it seems to be something that is missing till something worldly opens eyes. Good Luck Remember you are learning what love is, and I think you have depth just by asking this Question. Do you really care about being in or is it rejection you fell. Brush it aside hold your head up and keep smiling, Cheers
2006-11-06 03:31:20 · answer #3 · answered by Bongotone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fitting is always hard. I learned a long time ago that because of who and what I am I will never belong to many of the groups around me and I have no problem with that. But thats just me. Belonging is one thing but changing to belong is just hiding who you are. Maybe you're making friends with the wrong kind of people or maybe you haven't given yourself a chance to truly fit in. Fitting in is all about participating, speak up and make yourself heard. Its all about making your presence felt. Look just don't make yourself exclusively available to a certain group of people, meet new people and form new friendships. Give yourself a chance to really show people who you are.
2006-11-06 03:13:36 · answer #4 · answered by dsd 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dealing with it after it happens is not the solution. You want to learn how to prevent it. If it has only happened once, then it might be them; but if it has happened many times, then it might be you. Check yourself for what might be the problem.
2006-11-06 03:17:41 · answer #5 · answered by jasonheavilin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to do some self-examinating and figure out why you've been repeatedly "frozen out" by so many people. There's go to be a reason - fix it and go on with your life! God bless!
2006-11-06 03:10:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been llooking for the answer to this question my whole life also maybe we should compare notes on this issue I always knew i wasn't alone and you and i aren't the only ones.
2006-11-06 03:13:00 · answer #7 · answered by shellbell 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you figure out why you have been isolated? Maybe you talk too much and dominate the conversation? Is there an issue with hygeine?
2006-11-06 03:08:39 · answer #8 · answered by Kacky 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You need to look at yourself and ask what you are doing that is causing this
2006-11-06 03:15:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋