I've been with my husband since we were 15. We've been married now for 4 years. Recently he's asked me to call someone elses name in bed. He doesn't tell me whose name to use, he leaves that up to me. When we talked about it he said he wants me to fantasize about being with someone else. At first I played along thinking we were keeping things exciting and fun. But now, right in the middle of (you know) he says, "You know what to do". I call someone elses name and he's done in no time! This makes me feel akward. I'm very atracted to my husband and don't desire to be with anyone else. I talked to him about it and he said that he doesn't know why this turns him on so much.
Does anyone know why he's turned on by this???
2006-11-06 02:42:41 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
because it is a fantasy ... but it shouldnt be forever ...
2006-11-06 02:45:01 · answer #1 · answered by jack jack 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sexual fantasy... maybe, r u sure he isn't straying with another person male or female? Men more and more r realizing they are homosexuals. Why cause they hid and have tried to have a heterosexual relationship and they just realize can't hide anymore. If he's coming by hearing a males name... is he involved & u missed the signs?
Level with him that u don't enjoy bring any other mans name into your bed. Sex therapist might be able to provide insights and guide u through this especially if he doesn't want to go find out what's up.
Good luck... if your very young, age may play a huge part in this situation... hard to tell without more detail. R u frigid? Is sex gotten too plain? Same old, same old... great sex life with your partner involves trust, wanting to please eachother and feeling so comfortable with eachothers bodies. Something more is going on... try to be analytical.
2006-11-06 03:58:21 · answer #2 · answered by Staci 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
As long as you are keeping the actual physical acts within your marriage, it can be fun to role play that you are acting outside of your marriage. Your husband is most likely pretending you are someone else on occasion and it is great that he wants to include YOU in his fantasizing (instead of someone else!!).
As long as this does not take a turn that leads to actual other people being involved, enjoy!
Good luck!!
PS have a name ready so that you don't accidently say his brother's or dad's name or something odd like that!
2006-11-06 02:48:57 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Scientist 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All guys are different and some have some crazy crazy turn ons! Although, this one is a little weird. You'd think that if you did call someone elses name he'd get mad, jealous, and upset! I would definitely let him know that this is very awkward for you. I'm sure he has something else you can do that he fantasizes about.....
2006-11-06 02:48:11 · answer #4 · answered by britt 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Interesting. I do that some people are turned on by this, although I don't know exactly why. Personally I am into the cheating wife theme but not to that level. If you two have a healthy relationship, play along. I seriously doubt that it will escalate into actually asked you to be with another.
2006-11-06 02:47:16 · answer #5 · answered by Floss 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's interested in having a threesome with another man, and not sure how to bring it up to you so he's starting off slowly with the name thing. I would come right out and ask him what's going on.
2006-11-06 02:49:22 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Frenchy, just because people are different from you it does not mean that they have mental problems. You must be a social success!
Anyways, I have to agree that he probably wants the bad girl fantasy. Or he gets turned on by imagining that he is watching you have sex; this would be similar to watching a porn and getting turned on by watching other people having sex.
This may not be the norm, but it is not by any means a mental problem. He just likes his sex in a different way than other people do. Some people like apples, some people like oranges.
However, if things get out of hand to a point that you do not feel comfortable, then you need to talk to him and work it out. If it does not bother you that much, then you can continue to help him with his fantasy as far as you are not hurt by it.
2006-11-06 02:55:25 · answer #7 · answered by jasonheavilin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you have the perfect resolution to a long-standing problem between male and female - the off switch. Keep him going until you make it, then yell, "Fred!" (unless that's his name, of course). You're done. He's done.
Like some of the others have said, this is weird, but it could be a lot worse.
2006-11-06 02:51:21 · answer #8 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're a dirty girl and he wants you to be dirtier. Clearly he wants you to be with other men...possibly 3 or more somes....that or he wants to pretend he's either doing or being done by another man--and that would just not be right.
PS---try calling my name and see how he reacts....
2006-11-06 03:11:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm guessing it's his fantansy to watch you have sex with another man. He knows its wrong and won't go through with it, so this is as far as he's willing to pursue it. Have you asked him that? If it bothers you, then tell him you want him to stop it.
2006-11-06 02:49:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it could be 1 out of 2 things.
1. He is fantasizing about you being with someone else.
2. He could be fantasizing about a threesome.
The best thing that you can do is keep talking to him about this and express your feelings to him. If this really bothers you then don't do it anymore. Try something different.
2006-11-06 02:47:32 · answer #11 · answered by Melissa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋