Serious though...?
What would you do if you were in a bad marriage & wanted out..But in the process, your mother is totally against it & is all for your hubby who has lied to her about everything....said ugly things to you last night? She made the remark that "poor kids, they have a sorry mom" she said this just because I want a divorce. So, I asked her what she said just to see if she would take it back but she looked at me & said.."I didn't say anything" , so I proceeded to tell my hubby it was time to go and then she made another comment and I turned around & told her that she could say things to my face instead of under her breath. She then just outright lied & I told her so. Then I proceeded to rebuke her in Jesus's name & she got all bothered & my father go involved and told me to leave from our rental house that happens to be theirs. So, I calmy looked at them & said that I forgave them of what they said and God Bless them. What would you do? (I am going to look for a place this week)
2006-11-06 02:38:00 · 19 answers · asked by T&E 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If I were in a bad marriage & wanted out, I would turn to the Lord's comforting word for guidance/answers about what to do>>>
1st Corinthians 7:15... If the unbelieving depart, let him/her depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
If you believe the marriage isn't going to work out (no doubt about it), you're free to leave the marriage... & you're not bound to him anymore (not held to it)... because God wants us to live in peace, not to be at war (in torment).
Matthew 18:18 Jesus said... Verily I say unto you, whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
Whatever we bind (join with/commit to) on earth, is bound (joined... matrimony included) in heaven... &... whatever we loose (let go of, set free) on earth is loosed (made free) in heaven.
2006-11-06 03:14:10 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should look for a place of your own and then your mum won’t ever have to throw the fact that you live in a house that she owns in your face again. I don’t know why she is taking your husbands side over yours. But if you are in a bad marriage you have to get out not only for your sake but for the sake of your children as well. You have to try and make it on your own and ignore the comments that your mum is making prove to her that you don’t need her help and that you make it on your own and that you are not a sorry mom to your children. I can’t believe that your mother would rather you stay and be unhappy. Also why doesn’t she say these things to your face the fact that she has to say them behind your back, just proves that she is just doing it to be horrible. However if you are planning to leave I wouldn’t mention anything to your mother just yet, wait until you have somewhere to go and then give her your good news. It is horrible when your mum is against you, but maybe once you get your own place you will be able to invite her around and get things sorted between the two of you
2006-11-06 10:52:13 · answer #2 · answered by Baps . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I have lived your life!!!
First of all, you should NEVER have conversations about your marriage in front of your parents or anyone!!! If your husband is feeding them information, and they want to believe him, than that is on them, but you should never invite them into your realtionship!! You are only setting yourself up for this exact situation!
It sounds to me like you and your husband could benefit from some counceling! I am not saying stay with him, but you both need to get over some of the anger you have. You can't be effective parents if you hate each other. Your children deserve to have parents who can at least co-exist and raise them properly. It sounds like there are a lot of problems that stem from earlier generations. You would be doing everyone a favor by working through these things, especially yourself! You will never be able to be in a healthy relationship if you don't work through some of this anger!
Good luck to you! Take care of those children, and don't subject them to hateful words!! They don't and can't understand! Just remember that they love everyone involved and it is doing damage to their little minds to hear you all fight!
2006-11-06 10:53:18 · answer #3 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now Erica, you and your kids are what is important, not your mom. If you are unhappy, and want a divorce, get out and move on. my parents done the same thing to me, and i just made up my mind that it is just not worth it, so I got divorced anyway, and now, I am very happy with my life for making that decision. Parents should never get involved in their kids personal life, or take sides, that is just plain wrong, unless there is abuse involved.
2006-11-06 10:44:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to make your own decisions, if you are in a bad marriage then you need to make the decision to leave. Your parents are not the ones who are in the situation and may not know the extent of your problems. if you do decide to leave and your parents still do not understand, then that would be their decision and they will have to come to terms with it. You cannot stay in a bad marriage for anyone's sake but your own. Rethink your decision and be very sure of the decisions you make before you do anything rash, seeing that you do have children, a well thought out plan and life is best for them.
2006-11-06 10:45:32 · answer #5 · answered by Michele A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's painful when your own family turns on you. Keep your head up and get out, and for the time being stay away from your parents. Tell them as little as possible about your plans. The way they have disrespected you is horrible. Well now you know you don't have their support, so make a move and tell them nothing. Good luck and keep the faith.
2006-11-06 10:51:13 · answer #6 · answered by Gabriele 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
looks like we r in the same boat! i personally am tired of leadind a life like this and i do think about my son, but I ask my self all the time, " Do I really want my son to grow up listening to all the bull Crap, and my answer is always "no", but how can io leave if he controls all the cash". Sounds like u have$ or u work, which is good. So if i were u i'd leave ASAP. u don't need people to put u down all the time, u need friends who make u feel good about who u r. Good Luck.
2006-11-06 10:50:40 · answer #7 · answered by serestmar 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would start looking for a new place to live as soon as u can move and get away from the people that talk in such ways of u. As for your husband is he supporting your will to leave or is he just agreeing with the mother? If he is agreeing with your mother maybe he should rember a wedding vowl "for better or worse".
2006-11-06 10:44:44 · answer #8 · answered by jackmort420 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest the first thing you do is move out. Then I would suggest that you and your parents go talk to your minister/priest/rabbi . they might be able to convince your parents they are interfering. then you and your husband separate and see if maybe some time apart may change things for both of you before you divorce
2006-11-06 10:49:22 · answer #9 · answered by mamayer6 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really sounds like there is so much more to this story. You may not even see it yourself, or may be in denial of it, or hiding it. It does however seem like you really need to examine the truth about things, and take a better look at your situation.
2006-11-06 10:43:33 · answer #10 · answered by David W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋