Do you think I'm right by this?, or who agrees with me..........?

Question

THIS GIRL WHO IS DATING MY HUSBANDS FRIEND IS MAD AT ME BECAUSE I DID NOT GIVE HER THE TELEPHONE NUMBER OF A DOR GROOMER WHO ALSO HANGS OUT IN OUR GROUP OF FRIENDS. THE THING IS THAT SHE WOULD ONLY CALL ME WHEN SHE WANTED SOMETHING AND NEVER TO SAY HELLO. WE WOULD MAKE PLANS TO GO SHOPPING AND WHEN IT CAME TIME SHE WOULD ANSWER THE PHONE. NOW I'M THE SOB FOR NOT GIVING IN TO HER WHEN SHE CALLS WANTING SOMETHING. I WILL NOT BE USED BY PEOPLE WHO SAY THEY ARE MY FRIENDS AND ARE NOT AT ALL THE FRIEND HEY CLAIM TO BE. MY PERSONNALITY TENDS TO LET PEOPLE DO THIS HAPPEN TO ME ALOT. THEN EVERYONE WALKS AROUND TALKING S**T LIKE I'M THE A**h**E! I CAN'T STAND IT ANY MORE! EITHER YOU ARE MY FRIEND OR NOT AND IF YOU WANT TO ACT LIKE YOU ARE IN HIGH SCHOOL GO AHEAD AND LEAVE ME OUT OF IT. ! ( SORRY I'M REALLY PISSED ) HOW COME WHEN THEY TREAT ME LIKE THIS IT'S NOT A BAD THING, BUT WHEN I STOP ALLOWING THEM TO TREAT ME LIKE THIS I'M SOME KIND OF CRAZY PERSON!! PLEASE TELL ME HOW COME PEOPLE DO THIS

My husband had the number in his phone it's not a number that I keep in mine. Her boyfriend has the same number so she could have just got it from him instead of bothering me while I'm at work. If youthink I'm wrong, maybe in one part I am but but to get so mad at me for that is stupid! I mean so mad that you won't even look at me! Now come on! What if I got mad and treated her this way because she mad plans to shopping and stood me up or blow me off! I would have been an sob for that too! Right? This is why people suck!
What goes around comes around! I never treat these people the way they have treated me, sometimes being the bigger person isn't always the way to go. I have done that some many time and have been called an *** kisser for it!

Answer 1

I totally agree with you.... I feel the same way with people where I live. I have recently ended up standing up to people tooo. well about 2 years ago. We do not have to be rude, even if we are nice about telling them we do not appreciate being treated like that, they talk bad about us because we have always let soo many people walk all over us and we are finally standing up for ourselves. The support I recvd from my husband meant the world to me. It takes time for people to realize what you are doing and that you are just becoming a stronger person but it feels really good once you get over the anger, believe me more people will respect you instead of walk all over you, once you have established what you will and won't put up with from friends, or anyone. At the same time strong people will want to be your friends because they will not see you as weak and a pushover.. I would have given the girl the phone# but then told her not to call me just if she wants something. Good luck and good for you standing up for yourself...

Answer 2

Because if you usually let people walk over you, when you say enough they think it's not normal. So something must be wrong with you.
The answer to that problem is simple stop letting people walk over you. Don't let it happen even one more time, and they will get the message that you won't allow your self to be used anymore.
On the other hand it was just a phone number (sure she could have asked the person her self), you could have told her to get the groomer's number from him or the phone book. Without getting mad.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

I would just give her the number just to get her of your back ,then just don't answer the phone as much when she call and avoid from talking to her to much act like your busy doing something when she ask you to go shopping your an adult and if you feel that your being treated in a way that you don't like you don't have to be her friend and just let her know the reason for you acting this way ......hey if she doesn't like it oh well she doesn't pay your bills ...........good luck and don't let any one take advantage of your friendship .........

Answer 5

Sounds like you've got an immature person in your group! There's really no good way to handle your situation except just go about your business like nothing ever happened. Be sure to 'keep to the high road' and don't stoop to her level by engaging in petty gossip about her. Some people are just naturally the "outboard motor in a septic tank", ya know, all ways stirring up crap! Leave her alone and just continue your life! God bless!

Answer 6

I would reccomend you 2 sitting down with a referee ... and just express that you feel like the only time she even wants to see you, talk to you, is when she wants something. Let her know that it is hurtfull and that you feel like the only reason she wants you around is to be used as a resource for her own amusment. Dont be ugly about it .. just be calm about it ... state it .. and allow her room to react because she is going to ... and dont take it too seriously because we have all reacted to news we didnt like and mabee said some things we would rather not have said. But you will need a mediator ... to try and keep the peace .. a non-bias party. ... I hope this helps you.

Answer 7

well, you don't have to be friends with her, but it doesn't have to be all or nothing.
be the bigger person and give her the phone number. Just stop making shopping plans, etc. with her. Don't pretend it's anything more than it is....she's asking for a number, give it to her like a civiil person but skip the fake pretending to be friends bit.

Answer 8

The whole situation seems high schoolish. You should have just given her the number and let that be that. Don't make plans with her anymore and tell her not to call you for anything.

Answer 9

You do seem kinda petty. It was just a dog groomer's number. Did you ever stop to think that was her way of saying Hi, because she doesn't know what to say to you to make small talk?

Answer 10

erm, why didnt you give her the number?

i also think this is a 50/50 right/wrong argument. in other words its really pathetic and you are taking all the people that used you out on her!