He is quite older than me and just got divorced.He said that he loved me but i don't understand why he just wants to live with me instead of getting married.Should i quit from him?
2006-11-06 02:09:10 · 22 answers · asked by sweetie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Being married means taking responsibilities of family life include taking responsibilities for his spouse/wife. How can you live with someone who don't want to take responsibility to you? Who will responsible if something happen to you? And the problem is you have given everything to someone who irresponsible to you.
So, what do you think?
2006-11-06 02:20:23 · answer #1 · answered by eddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally don't think it is a bad idea, when you live together first you get to know each other really well before you marry him, many people marry first and discover that this isn't the person they want to spend the rest of their life with and then they go through a divorce. Give him a couple years just to see if you really want to marry him, test the waters first, you may not want to marry him after all. I lived with my husband for 8 years before we got married, we have been together for 24 years now, I think it worked well in my situation, others may think differently.
2006-11-06 11:54:14 · answer #2 · answered by Urchin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should. If he doesn't want to get married and share a commitment together then sleeping together every night shouldn't be an option either. Besides he just got a divorce he couldn't possible be over the other woman. sorry girl but i don't think this is the right one for you. He's probably got a lot of baggage left over from the other marriage too.
2006-11-06 10:24:49 · answer #3 · answered by tina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't take it personally. However, you're in a bad situation right now because he is coming out of a marriage and it's natural that he will have commitment issues. I know it sounds crazy, but if he moves in with you it's like he's commiting againg. But signing a piece of paper can have a very powerful effect on the psyche of some people. My advice, say no. He is clearly on the rebound and it will be very difficult for you to have a successful relationship. If you want to have a serious and committed relationship, find a man who is younger and not traumatized from a previous marriage.
2006-11-06 10:19:03 · answer #4 · answered by Nestor Q 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you shoudl quit from him but tell him that you're not ready to make that stpe yet. When you're living with people things change and if you want your relationship to continue on a good path then hold out for a little but. Also, because he is older and a little bit more experienced he feels as if you guys should live together but that doesn't mean that that's the best thing for you guys right now. Good luck in whatever you decide...
2006-11-06 10:15:01 · answer #5 · answered by Miss Thang 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I think you should see if his matter with the ex is solved. I met my husband shortly after his separation he wasnt even divorced yet, I guess he never had the chance of letting it settle down inside him. Her 'shadow' has always been present as the 'best relationship' of his life.
Also: how important it is for you to get married? there is a chance there he wont be willing to do again any time soon.
You should have it solved with yourself in order to avoid future frustration.
There are many differences between living together and being married. It is up for the people involved to see if they see the differences as being positive or not.
For example, the idea of full intimacy without any bonds conveyed by the idea of living together is a feature that suits you, your personality, your life style?
2006-11-06 10:21:16 · answer #6 · answered by Graça 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's wrong with living together for a while before getting married. I don't see why you have to be married to live together. All marriage is is a piece of paper. It does not change a thing. That is the problem with most women they think things are different just because they have that sheet of paper saying they are married. Is dosen't make them love you any more or any less. Do what you want to do and don't worry so much about it. Good luck in love.
2006-11-06 10:27:46 · answer #7 · answered by angie a 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell him no!
First never get dee[ply involved with someone who is recently divorced.
Second if you are going to stay involved tell him up front that you are a marrying kind of girl not a live together type. If he can't accept that tell him to get to steppin' (break it off.)
If he does ask you to marry him make sure it is a long engagement. Recently divorced people especially men go through a lot of emotional ups and downs in the year right after divorce. You don't want your marriage to start in that kind of environment.
Luck
2006-11-06 10:58:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's divorced and doesn't plan on getting married again, you may want to reconsider the relationship if you do!!! Decide what you want out of this relationship before you move in!!
I personally, if I were you, if you've never been married before, would look for someone that hasn't been married before that's around your own age!! That wants the same thing you do.
Good luck!!
2006-11-06 10:17:35 · answer #9 · answered by Jenna 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either accept it or move on. His wanting to live with you instead of marrying you means he doesn't want a true commitment. He doesn't think you're good enough to marry so all you get is a live-together situation.
This is a bad sign! If I were you, I'd get out NOW.
2006-11-06 10:25:30 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋