What would you do if you found a condom in your 14 year old son,s wallet?

Answer 1

First of all, why were you going through his wallet? That's invading his privacy. I know, most parents are all about their kids not having any privacy, but he's getting close to being a man, and maybe he deserves a little more privacy now.

If I had a 14 year old son, and I found a condom in his wallet (though I don't know why I would, considering I'd never go through his wallet), I'd thank God that he's at least trying to practice safe sex. I'd also hope that it was just because his other friends were carrying them, and not because he was going to use it.

I'd have a talk with him, if I were you. The sex talk, if you haven't had it yet. Kids are having sex at younger and younger ages (I was having sex when I was younger than he is), and they don't seem to understand just how big of a thing it is. You should probably also explain condom storage and that carrying a condom in his wallet will make it deteriorate and become useless at preventing anything because of the heat from his body.

But really, he's 14, and these days, that's about the average age for teens to become sexually active. (Half the girls I was in 7th grade with, seven years ago, were sexually active.) You should definitely have a talk with him, without telling him that you were looking in his wallet, but make sure that he understands about everything you feel it's appropriate to tell him. It's probably too late, if you haven't talked to him yet, but better late than never.

The reason I say not to bring the condom in the wallet up is because he will only get defensive and your conversation will turn into a shouting match about invasion of privacy. I was 14 once, and even though I was a girl, it was the same thing with my mother. Only she made the mistake of telling me she went through my stuff. I didn't feel like I had to have any respect for her, if she didn't have any respect for me.

But, either way, no matter whose advice you follow, or whether you choose to follow anyone's advice, it's your call. He's your son. Good luck.

Answer 2

I would have a sex talk with him. It probably makes him look cool to his friends for carrying one around in his wallet. However, this also means that he is most likely thinking about becoming sexually active or already is.

During this talk I would mention that your wallet is not a good place to keep a condom. It the heat from your body can lower its effectiveness. But it is better than not having one on you. It just needs to be changed out regularly.

You should store condoms in a cool, dry place out of direct sunlight, perhaps in a drawer or closet. If you want to keep one with you, put it in a loose pocket, wallet, or purse for no more than a few hours at a time.

Extreme temperature -- especially heat -- can make latex brittle or gummy (like an old balloon). So don't keep these latex products in a hot place like a glove compartment.

Answer 3

I would think that he is a very educated young man, he may be too young, but at least he knows that he doesnt want to be a dad and still be in school.

I dont want to scare a lot of parents out there, but kids are having sex more and more at a younger age, I myself was 14 when I first had sex, and I do regret it, but its part of growing up, and I am glad that your boy is using his head, much more than I did, as I never used any precautions and it was thru luck that I wasnt a mom at the age of 15 with my partner. I mean I was with my partner for 9 years it wasnt as tho, I was having sex with anyone.

I think you should sit him down and ask him where he got it, or mayeb there is a male relative that could speak to him, re-assure him that you are proud of him and that he is making the right decision for getting precautions, but you could also get him an info back from the local GUM clinic that will give you a detailed list of all STD and related issues. This gives any person a lot to think about never mind a teenager.

Let him know that you are there, I would think that someone has beaten you to the punchline and told him about sex before you.

Good Luck

Answer 4

I'd be proud and happy to a degree. It's great that he's already taking the steps to protect himself against some STDS and pregnancy. At the same time I'd confront him about sex. I wouldn't tell him I found the condom but let him know I'm open to talk about any concerns he has and hope he'll come to me when he's having sex. I would doubt he was having sex if he wasn't displaying different behavior or being secretive--most boys keep one in their wallet just to be "cool."

Answer 5

sure, young children are sexually lively at his age, lately. the college would have given out condoms, and that is a good component. you don't want to ought to pay all the charges for some woman's being pregnant and performance him required to pay baby help for 18 years. do not act very much shocked. in basic terms count number-of-factly hand him the condoms and say gently, "i stumbled on those even as i became doing the laundry." Then ask him if there is something you 2 might want to communicate about. do not make a huge deal of it because it really is a particular-fireplace thanks to make him clam up.

Answer 6

I wouldn't say anything unless your discovery didn't involve "snooping," and when you did approach your son, he wouldn't be angry about you being in his wallet to begin with.

Regardless, as a man who has two full grown sons now, my experience would tell me to say nothing. It's not uncommon for "guys" to carry the old "back-up" in case they get lucky. He may be hanging with a little group and everyone has their "rubber to be ready." Mine was about two years old when I finally threw it out. Especially when I found out propylactics had an expiration date.
Be happy that he is prepared in the event an opportunity comes his way. Don't worry too much, he'll out-grow it, eventually throwing out his wallet with the indented "donut ring."
You may even be entitled to a little applause for raising your son with a responsible approach to the issue. Congratulations!

Answer 7

one have a conversation about sex and propper use of condoms and that a wallet is a bad place for it because they get damaged when you sit on them. Then find out if he is having sex. he will probably say no just have it just in case. Discuss what your expectations are of him, whatever they are. Tell him that if he decides to have sex it is good he is being safe

Answer 8

Sweetie,i know it is hard but please dont go through his things.I understand that you are worried about him especially at his age,but you must respect his privacy unless its a life or death situation.
Having said that,i am sure it is an uncomfortable situation for you to find something like that and it belonging to your son.However,you must not assume anything as hard as that may be.I am sure you are really concerned he is having intercourse,but i urge you to put that thought out of your head for now.Has he had "the talk"?If he has not,then you must get his father or a trusted male figure to speak with him about this.Someone who wont go and tell you everything they say,just have "guy" talks.He wouldnt be comfortable speaking with you about the changes he is going through and things of that sort.As im sure it would be a little awkward for you as well.Simply,find a family friend or his father and have them talk and allow him to know he can speak with this male about anything.Im sure you would rather he ask questions to someone you trust and you know will give him accurate information as opposed to his peers or even trying it.Make sure he is educated about his body,and the risks of sexual activity.Even when using protection and that it isnt 100% effective.Make sure he knows the risks and consequences emotion as well as physical.Everything,at his age he is curious and needs to know these things.Good luck hun,have a good day!

Answer 9

at least he's using protection!!

Now, how did you see this? if you were snooping in his wallet, then thats bad. If he left it out/open then its more than ok to say something about it. Talk to him and find out if he's doing anything.

A couple of my friends actually carry a condom around because they "want to be protected in the highly unlikely event that anything happens"

Answer 10

I'd probably panic!!! But I would be glad he at least has it if he needs it. But he probably just got it at school in health class... they do that these days! Don't let him now you were invading his privacy, just casually ask him if they are doing and sex ed in school and if he says yes, ask him "Are they still giving out condoms" with kind of a laugh. If he doesn't feel you are to threatened by it, he may be more willing to talk about it with you.